Dan Humphrey quotes from Gossip Girl

Blair

[wearing a pink dress, walking toward The Met with Dan] I feel like a prom queen doing the walk of shame.

Dan

You look like a princess. Now I'm not gonna lie. [Holding a crown] This is cubic zirconia that I got from a costume shop. But you'll sell it.

Blair

Cubic zirconia does not touch this body.

Blair

So the whole time you refused to speak to me for choosing Chuck, you were cheating on me with Serena.

Dan

It was only once, and you heard the tape, she manipulated me into it.

Blair

In order to claim date rape, you have to say no.

Dan

She told me, you chose Chuck. Which turns out, wasn't even a lie, you just didn't have the decency to tell me yourself.

Blair

I intended to. But I respected you enough not to sleep with him until I did. I thought Chuck sleeping with Jenny was the most despicable thing someone could do to me. But this is worse, because you pretended to be better. At least I ended up with the right person.

Dan

You ended up with no one. Chuck is never going to be finished fighting with his father and that ring around your neck? Never going to be on your finger.

Blair

I would rather be with no one than with you.

Serena

[Reading Dan's chapter on her] "Serena is nothing, she's a golden shell. give her love and she'll do anything you want."

Dan

Serena, I know you're upset-

Serena

"With daddy issues like these, it's not hard to push the right buttons and once you do, the most powerful girl on the upper East Side has no power at all." I would understand if you had written this in the spring. You were so mad at me then. Why would your write this now?

Dan

Why-why not now? It's no less true than it was then.

Serena

I'm confused. So, has everything that's happened since Cotillion been a lie? The Vespa? The bar? Did you ask someone to stop the elevator?

Dan

Vanya...I told him I was trying to win you back. But everything I've said...about how I feel is the truth.

Serena

That's not possible. That doesn't make sense. You couldn't say these things about me if you loved me. I invited you into my home, Dan, and my world. And then you just humiliate me.

Dan

That is the issue. "My world."

Serena

Oh come on! It's a figure of speech.

Dan

No, it has always been your world and you've never let me forget it. I've always been a visitor. The poor kid from Brooklyn who you've never seen as an equal to you.

Serena

Okay, so this is your payback. Do you feel better about riding the subway to school since you made a fool of me to everyone?

[Dan's final chapter, revealing Gossip Girls Identity.] The Upper East Side was like something from Fitzgerald or Thackeray. Teenagers acting like adults. Adults acting like teenagers, guarding secrets, spreading gossip, all with the trappings of truly opulent wealth. And membership in this community was so elite, you couldn’t even buy your way in. It was a birth right. A birth right I didn’t have, and my greatest achievements would never earn me. All I had to compare to this world was what I'd read in books but that gave me the idea. If I wasn’t born into this world – maybe I could write myself into it. I overheard enough conversations to be able to mimic the language of the Constance girls but every writer needs his muse. And it wasn’t until that photo of Serena in that white dress that I knew I had something strong enough to actually create a legend and launch a website. Within weeks, I was getting dozens of emails with stories about Upper East Siders, so I posted them anonymously, and then I got more. Before long, it was a monster– everyone was sending tips. And when Serena came back from boarding school, I wrote my first post about me: Lonely Boy, the outsider, the underdog. I might have been a joke, but at least people were talking about me.