Gosh, that song was so depressing. I may actually be dead now.
S3 E9Extraordinary Merry Christmas
I just got off the phone with Don Barowsky, the local station manager at Lima's PBS affiliate. Turns out that their annual broadcast of the yule log burning has been canceled.
PPuck
The hell?!
What are you gonna do for Christmas this year?
I'm not even sure. Brittany and her family are going on a trip to see a gay Santa. Something about Santa Fe.
This whole week, I'll be your Christmas sponsor. Really show you what the holiday spirit's about in the USA.
That'd be so awesome, Sam.
Some say Judy was high on pills and booze, but I say she was high on excitement and baby Jesus.
It's about your song. It makes me want to kill myself.
We begin in the Swiss Alps, in the village of Gustad, in the perfectly appointed living room of Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson's chic, swank chalet. The tree, towering and opulent; the fireplace draped in garlands; the stockings bejeweled. Kurt and Blaine, the perfect hosts, have invited their friends to drop in for an evening of Noël Coward-esque, happy, cheer-filled songs!
Are you telling me I'm not invited to Kurt and Blaine's for Christmas?
Not unless you pick a happier song. The evening's festivities conclude with Rory, dressed as the Christmas elf, Itchy, reciting Frosty the Snowman. Start with fun and end with fun. That's how you do it, kids.
You gave me a dead pig for Christmas?
It's not dead yet. You've gotta get it fat first.
I'm a vegan.
The homeless will be homeless for a while. That's sort of the problem.
Hello. Well, I guess we're all in the spirit of the season by now. Let me apologize for not introducing myself sooner. I'm Kurt Hummel, one of your hosts this evening. Thank you. And this is my, um…best friend and holiday roommate, Blaine Anderson.
How do you do? Welcome to our bachelor chalet.
We've also asked a few of our other special friends to drop by. But I hope they can make it over the mountains and through the woods in this dreary weather.
Oh, come on, now, Kurt. You know if they get stuck in the snow, they can always hitch a ride on Santa's sleigh.
Oh, you!
Hey, it's true.
Oh! Oh, I'm terribly sorry for keeping you standing outside, shivering on the porch. Please, come in. Please, come in. Watch your step. Come on now. Don't be shy. Please, come, come.
Come right on in. Make yourself at home.
And then I said to Justin Timberlake, "That's not eggnog!"
Say, are you dressed like Luke Skywalker and Han Solo?
No. That's copyright infringement! Any resemblance to Star Wars characters is purely coincidental!
PPuck
Hey guys, why the long faces? It's Christmas Eve, or something.
[Bell ringing]
Oh my goodness! Could it be? Could it be?
[walks out ringing bell and wearing elf costume]
ABAll but Rory
Itchy the Holiday Elf!
We asked our friend Itchy to stop by and read us a light-hearted, heart-warming, upbeat Christmas tale: Frosty the Snowman.
Actually, I was going to read that, but I searched my heart, and I am going to read one from a different book. I think it's something that's going to remind people what the true spirit of Christmas really is.
Are sure you don't wanna read Frosty? We all really wanna hear Frosty!
You guys finally came around!
Well, I guess you can thank Rory for helping us see the light.
I was just following my Christmas sponsor's lead.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.