I used to drink a lot when I was their age, mostly to deal with Terri.
S2 E14Blame It On the Alcohol
BBeiste
You ain't lived until you seen me in a cowboy hat!
Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel normal.
I'd say "bye," but I wouldn't wanna make you angry.
The date was lovely. We saw Love Story at the Revival Theatre - we even dressed up as the characters.
[says sarcastically] That's not gay at all.
Blaine and I have a lot in common.
A sentiment expressed by many a hag by many dating a gay.
I don't doubt that you and Blaine would have a JOLLY good time, shopping at Burberry's and arguing who would make the best Rum-Tum-Tugger. But there's something you and Blaine will never have, and that's chemistry.
Blaine is the first of a long line of conflicted men that you will date, that will later turn out to be only the most flaming of homosexuals.
It's kinda like nursing a POW back to health so he's at his strongest when you torture him.
[looking at the audience] You guys, I'm really nervous. Ke$ha has been a culture icon for weeks and I really wanna do her music justice.
We haven't had enough rehearsal.
Or any at all.
And most of our assembly performances usually end in some kind of riot.
Never fear, teammates. [hands plastic cups to everyone] Now it's a Broadway tradition for nervous performers to take a shot of whiskey before going on to calm their nerves and to mask the stench of bad dental hygiene. [pours her drink in each cup] In that tradition, I have mixed us a playful showbiz cocktail of what was left in my dad's liquor cabinet. There's some Brandy and Vermouth, Portwine, and Scotch in here and also some Kool-aid and some crumbled up Oreos.
Oh my God, this tastes like cough syrup.
There's also cough syrup in here.
[Everyone clanks their cups together.]
EEveryone
Cheers.
To Ke$ha!
And now, performing the hit song Tik and also Tok, by rapper Key-dollar-sign-ha, New Directions.
Isn't drinking under 21 illegal?
The alcohol companies have been marketing alcoholic drinks to teenagers. In fact, just listen to any song by Key-dollar-sign-ha...
You mean Ke$ha?
[throws up on Rachel]
[The audience stares in shock and silence.]
Oh my God.
[disgusted and leaves the stage]
[throws up also and coughs]
Everybody drink responsibly.
My nose is still filled with the acrid stench of teen vomit.
[voicemail to Emma] I rode a bull and was thinking of you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.