Hey, Sam. My name's Finn. This here's Artie.
Uh, I know who you are. You're the quarterback.
Exactly. Which makes me VERY cool.
S2 E1Audition
PPuck
Dude, your mouth is huge. How many tennis balls can you fit in there?
I don't know, I've never had any balls in my mouth. Have you?
[aside to Artie] I like this kid.
[to Finn] I like his confidence. But the Bieber cut's gotta go.
You did this to me! You told Coach Sylvester about my summer surgery!
You have surgery when you get your appendix out. You got a BOOB JOB.
Yup. Sure did. [slaps Quinn across face]
You can't hit me!
Oh, sure I can. Unless you got yourself knocked up again. Slut.
[Quinn slams Santana against a locker]
Stop the violence.
Hey! Hey! Hey! [holding Quinn and Santana apart] What is this? What happened to being a family?
Oh, please! She has a family! She's a mother!
[Will holds her back] Walk away and tight up your pony before you get to class!
First of all, a female football coach, like a male nurse-sin against nature. Number two, I'm sure you're used to Hillbilly parents yelping adulation at you as they attempt to impregnate the tailpipes of various off-road vehicles, but you're in my house now, Beiste. No one comes into my house and steals from me.
Do not get up in the Panther's business, lady. You're all coffee and no omelet.
[Whispering] That doesn't make any sense.
If we want to go to Nationals, if we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline, we have to go from a small rebel force to a giant wall of sound!
[narrating] I was really excited about my Glee Club recruit poster design. I made it super masculine just like these pamphlets I saw some Army guys passing out at a daycare center. Then I heard something. [Finn hears a student singing in the shower] It was the new transfer kid. I saw him tapping his foot when we were busting it out in the courtyard the other day. I would've joined in with a kick-ass harmony, but the dude was naked.
All right, guys, it's a pizza party. Dig in. Everyone has to eat at least four slices. Let's go! And when you're done, full pads out on the field. We're doing wind sprints. And the first ten to puke are off the team.
[About Tina] She dumped me for Mike Chang. They fell in love over the summer at...Asian Camp. They were counselors, in charge of teaching all those tech-savvy Asian kids about the arts.
So, what did Tina say when she broke up with you?
[In Artie's flashback] I think you're great, Artie, but you're a terrible boyfriend. You ignored me for weeks this summer!
I was playing a marathon round of Halo, woman!
And then when we did get together, all you wanted to do was watch Coming Home over and over. Mike tries to be into what I'm into. Like his abs.
I'm Finn Hudson and I'd like to audition for the Cheerios.
Coach Beiste didn't touch my boobs. Actually, I really want to touch her boobs.
I didn't send her to an active crack house. Besides, how did you guys find out anyways?
The Asian community is very tight.
The two of you are making a very serious mistake today, the likes of which have not been seen since the Mexican Indians sold Manhattan to George Washington for an upskirt photo of Betsy Ross.
Hey, man. Why didn't you show at the audition?
I wanted to. I really did. But after what Coach Beiste did to you...Do you know what everyone says about you Glee Guys?
Oh, yea, you get used to all that.
U.S. History. Crap, I forgot I was taking that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.