Could you have a word with Azimio and Karofsky about harassing me without damaging my Gaga outfit?
Are you serious? Do you know how difficult it is with those guys? They already think we're boyfriends.
S1 E20Theatricality
I thought the boys KISS number was good, although the lyrics left something to be desired.
Finn kept sticking his tongue out and I couldn't stop picturing him licking things. It was disturbing.
(about giving her up as a baby) Did you ever regret it?
CMs. Corcoran
Yes. Then no. Then so much.
W-When did you realize it was the right time for me to find you?
CMs. Corcoran
I saw you sing at sectionals. You were extraordinary. You were me.
[to Kurt] Are you freaking insane?
I don't wanna have to worry about that kind of stuff in my own room, man!
And what "stuff" are you referring to?
You know what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb. Well, can't you just accept that I'm not like you?
I have accepted that.
No, you haven't. You think I don't see the way you stare at me, how flirty you get? You think I don't know why yow got so excited that we were gonna be moving in together?
It's just a room, Finn! We can redecorate if you want to!
Okay, good. Well then the first thing that needs to go is that faggy lamp. And then we need to get rid of this faggy couch cover…
(coming downstairs) Hey! What did you just call him?
Oh, no, no, I didn't call him anything. I was just talking to the blanket.
If you use that word, you're talking about him.
Relax, Dad. I didn't take it that way.
Yeah, that's because you're 16 and you still assume the best in people. You live a few years, you start seeing the hate in people's hearts. Even the best people. (to Finn) You use the "N" word?
Of course not.
How about "retard"? You call that nice girl in Cheerios with Kurt, you call her a retard?
Becky-no. She's my friend, she's got Down syndrome. I'd never call her that. That's cruel.
But you think it's okay to come into my house and say "faggy"?
That's not what I meant.
I know what you meant! What, you think I didn't use that word when I was your age? You know, some kid gets clocked in practice, we'd tell him to stop being such a fag. Shake it off. We meant it exactly the way you meant it. That being gay is wrong. That it's some kind of punishable offense. I really thought you were different, Finn. You know, I thought that being in Glee Club and being raised by your mom meant that you were some, you know, new generation of dude who saw things differently. Who just kind of, you know, came into the world knowing what has taken me years of struggling to figure out. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry Finn, but you can't - you can't stay here.
(softly) Dad!
I love your mom and maybe this is gonna cost me her. But my family comes first. I can't have that kind of poison around here. (to Kurt) This is our home, Kurt. (to Finn) He is my son. Out in the world, you do what you want; not under my roof.
When I was little and I was sad, my dads would bring me a glass of water. It got to a point where I didn't know if I was sad or thirsty.
S1 E21Funk
I'm so depressed, I wore the same outfit twice this week.
[Writing in her journal] Dear Journal, something strange happened yesterday. I felt something below the neck. Dare I admit it? I have feelings for one Will Schuester. Sexy, non-murdering feelings. True love always springs from true hate. I'll admit in the past I've fantasized about waking up with Will's head on the pillow next to me, except now I picture it attached to the rest of his body.
Besides creeping us out, why are you telling us this?
If we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at regionals, none of us are gonna regret it. We will have given it our best shot and we won't look back. But we will regret letting them get the best of us before the competition, which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us.
So you want us to T.P their choir room?
Whatever the better, cooler version of that is, like, uh- maybe... maybe we should steal their school statue.
Their school statue is a giant bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup. It weighs three tons.
PPuck
[In voiceover] Everyone knows this is going to come down to me. Revenge, fear, the merciless infliction of pain-these are my kingdoms. First time I gave a wedgie to a kid, I was four years old. Finn and I may still hate each other for some reason, but we both know that defending the honor of New Directions is going to be our dirty job.
[As Jesse stands in front of her with an egg in his hand] Do it. Break it like you broke my heart.
I loved you [breaks the egg in Rachel's hair].
Now I just keep having nightmares of all of the mother's of the little baby chicks coming at me for revenge.
Hey, what's going on?
We're on our way to go all Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline.
Guys, violence is never the answer.
PPuck
It is when the question is, "What's the best way to mess up that Jesse kid's face?"
Mr. Schue, Rachel is one of us. We're the only ones who get to humiliate her.
Stop! Get back here and sit down! Look, I know from experience that making someone else suffer doesn't make your pain go away. You're all amazing, no matter what Vocal Adrenaline says or does. We just need to find a way to remind ourselves of that.
We can't just let Vocal Adrenaline get away with turning Rachel into an omelette.
We're not. Rachel, dial Jesse's number on your phone.
You still have his number?
Jesse St. James? Will Schuester here. You and Vocal Adrenaline need to meet at our auditorium Friday, 3:00 sharp. [hangs up]
Look, nobody got hurt, it was a harmless prank.
That's what they said about a boy in Chicago, in 1871, who thought he'd play a harmless prank on the dairy cow of one Mrs. O'Leary. He successfully ignited its flatulence and a city burned, William. That terrorist went on to become the first gay President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln.
[After the performance of "Give Up the Funk" by New Directions]
PPuck
See you punks at Regionals. [He leaves the stage.]
[Shocked] They did a funk number. [To Giselle who's sitting next to him] We've never been able to pull off a funk number.
GGiselle
Well, that's because we're soulless automatons.
I'm so depressed.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.