Rachel Berry quotes from Glee

Rachel

Thanks for doing this.

Quinn

I'm surprised more girls haven't asked me. My nose looks awesome. I can totally count on your vote right?

Rachel

Yeah. Tot...totally.

Quinn

[goes back to reading her magazine]

Rachel

So, what's it like? [Quinn turns to Rachel] Looking like you look.

Quinn

I pretty much have a warped sense of the world. Being a hot seventeen year old you can get away with or do pretty much anything you want so I kind of always assumed that people were nice and accommodating.

You won't listen to me, You won't listen to Finn

Kurt

But she will listen to Barbra Streisand. Thanks Puck, I'll take it from here, but only I can lead this Barbra-vention.

Rachel

Is she here?

Kurt

Of course not, this is a mall in Ohio.

Rachel

Hey.

Sam

Why are you talking to me?

Rachel

Can't I say hello?

Sam

I guess, it's just, Santana told me never to speak alone with you because you would try to steal all of my gold.

Jesse

It's good to see you again, Rachel.

Rachel

Jesse... what are you doing here?

Jesse

I mean, how I was supposed to know that I was actually supposed to show to those other classes in school? I was majoring in show choir. I just assumed it would be like in Carmel and the school would get some Asian kid to take Math, English and scientific for me.

Rachel

That's awful.

Jesse

I came back to see you, Rachel. What I did to you... It's my one great regret.

Rachel

Yeah... It was kinda weird. One day you're telling me you loved me, and you were inexplicably throwing eggs at my head the next.

Jesse

I know, I know. I traded love for a fourth consecutive National championship. It was a bum deal. For a first maybe but for a fourth, no way. I've come to make amends. So... What are you doing for prom?

Jesse

They say that the best time to start any business is during a recession. I don't know why or even what a recession is, but it's my understanding that we're in one.

Rachel

He's so smart, I can't believe he flunked out of college.

Rachel

[goes after Quinn] Quinn, you need to calm down.

Quinn

This is your fault! Nobody would vote for me because they knew he would rather be with you.

Rachel

That's not true.

Quinn

[slaps Rachel across the cheek]

Rachel

[gasps and touches her cheek]

Quinn

[whispers] I'm so sorry.

Rachel

[checking her cheek] Most girls would be upset about getting slapped in the face, but…I happen to appreciate the drama of it. [gets a paper towel]

Quinn

[leans against the sink] I know you think it's hard to be you, Rachel, but at least you don't have to be terrified all of the time.

Rachel

What are you so scared of? [offers a paper towel to Quinn]

Quinn

[takes the paper towel] The future. When all this is gone.

Rachel

Look, you have nothing to be scared of. You're a very pretty girl, Quinn. You're the prettiest girl I've met Quinn but...you're a lot more than that.

Jesse

Rachel, in your head, are you singing to anyone in particular?

Rachel

Not really.

Jesse

[looks disappointed] Oh.

Rachel

How do you get that raspiness?

Santana

So nice. I smoke cigars.

Kurt

A year and a half ago, the New Directions were nothing but a group of six misfits stumbling their way through a horrific rendition of "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat". Now, here we are at the top of the show choir heap. Nationals!

Tina

I wanna hit up Central Park, get my frolic on!

I wanna throw stuff off the Brooklyn Bridge.

Finn

Guys hold on, I mean, we still have two songs to write.

Kurt

Okay, Mr Bossypants. But I think we have some time for a tune before we leave. [begins to sing] Start spreading the news. [everyone begins to join in] I'm leaving today. I wanna be a part of it. New York, New York!

Rachel

Guys, I have news. To celebrate our impending win at Nationals, I got us all thirteen tickets to Broadway's longest running show ever; Cats!

Quinn

You might want to check the dates on those, Rachel, 'cause Cats closed about eleven years ago.

Rachel

He did seem crazy. He charged my credit card through his butt crack.

Mercedes

Did you know New York City was built on top of Old York City?

Tina

I'm pretty sure that's not true.

Mercedes

Oh. I'm just pretty.

Finn

Hey.

Rachel

Hi! I'm surprised at how well Quinn is taking the breakup. I guess I was wrong about her being a vindictive harpy.

Finn

I guess she just accepted the inevitable.

Rachel

Or maybe she's just distracted by the awesomeness of New York! I know I am. Hey, do you know why it smells like it's wet here all the time?

Finn

Nope. So, what's going on with you and Jesse?

Rachel

I don't know, he keeps texting me but I told him that I don't want to talk to him until I get back; no boys or distractions until we win that trophy. [leaves]

Will

Hey Finn, where the hell's Puckerman?

Finn

Umm...[glances at Puck and Lauren]

I'll have a Manhattan.

Do you even know what's in a Manhattan?

Yeah me, for the first time. Which is why I want to celebrate with a cocktail.

Brittany

Yeah, totally.

Quinn

[grabs her jacket] We gotta get out of here.

Rachel

Wait, no, no, no. Mr. Schue gave us explicit instructions.

Quinn

To write a song and our problem is our only inspiration are mattresses and bathroom cups.

Quinn's right. We're in the artist capital of the world. Poets, musicians, actors, playwrights. Every dreamer that's lived has passed through this city. And if we want our dreams to come true, we need to be there out with them, not stuck in here.

Finn

Guys, I don't think this is a good idea. I mean, we've still got those songs to write and if we don't write them then we're gonna lose.

Lauren

No, they're right! Can't you hear the city calling to you?

Quinn

We don't need to write songs for Nationals. New York's going to write them for us.

Finn

Hi.

Rachel

Hi. What's so important?

Finn

Uh... [gives the flowers he's holding to Rachel] These are for you. I thought since we're both captains and all that we should write a duet for Nationals.

Rachel

The tie, flowers, Central Park?

Finn

It's uh... a work date. Totally professional.

Finn

I like the way you dream so big, I don't know how to do that. You look so pretty tonight. Rachel, I have something to say to you.

Rachel

Oh my God. It's Patti LuPone!