TATV Announcer
So, Katsura-san, what do you mean with "Space Captain"?
Well, it means that I'm a captain from space.
The owner and its pet are alike.
[Elizabeth has painted a Picasso-like portrait of Katsura.]
TATV Announcer
It's such a magnificent piece of art! Looks just like it was painted by a human!
[grabbing the announcer by the collar] Please. That comparison is an offense to Elizabeth's talent.
[at the second part of the pet competition]
TATV Announcer
By the way, the winner will get 30,000 points, so give it your best!
Hey, Mr. Announcer! Then what was the first part of the competition for?
TATV Announcer
Well, that was just to make the show more entertaining...
There's no need for that kind of thing! I demand you change the rules immediately!
Hey Zura, stop bothering the announcer with your demands. If you got any beef with this, then just go home.
[a close shot of Elizabeth running shows a man-like leg underneath an apparent costume.]
TATV Announcer
Eh... Am I seeing things? It seems like I caught a glimpse of a geezer's leg for a while... [the camera is showing Elizabeth's feet in slowmotion. The human leg is shown again] Ah! I saw it again! Take a look!
[holding his sword against the announcer's throat] Stop talking nonsense. Elizabeth's been working real hard for today. Don't you dare say she looks like a geezer.
[Gintoki, Katsura and Sadaharu are piled on top of Elizabeth, preventing her to reach for the bone. Gintoki is pressing his bokuto against Elizabeth's neck, Katsura has Gintoki in a chokehold, and Sadaharu is biting on Katsura's head.]
MVMale voice
Ahhh, I'm getting tired of this... What a pain in the ass...
[Everyone stops fighting, and reels back in panic upon realizing the voice comes from Elizabeth.]
?"Elizabeth"
I wanna go home. Could you guys please get off my back?
When you think about it, life seems longer when you're an old man! Scary!!
You may still be young, kiddo, but remember to think about the consequences before you do anything. Life's pretty long, you know.
I don't want no advice from a loser like you. [starts to leave] See ya, good-for-nothing old fart [maru de dame na ossan]. Or madao, to shorten it. C'mon, Sadaharu.
[Sadaharu pounces on Kagura, but she kicks him away.]
[a man in the waiting room for a job interview lights his cigarette and accidentally sets his hair on fire.]
Hey, hey! You're burning, you're burning!
GGuy
Yeah. The desire for responsibility is burning inside of me.
That's not it! Your head is in flames!
GGuy
Oh? Eh... [notices the fire] Aaaaahhh! [spins around in panic] What'll I do?! What'll I do?!
OWOffice worker
Mr. Shoji Gindo? It's time for your interview-- [sudden deep voice] He's on fire!
GGuy
[standing straight, nervously] I promise to put my burning passion in my work for this company starting now!!
OWOffice worker
You're not employed yet!!! [splashes the man with water]
[Hasegawa has recognized an old working partner in his job interview.]
Well, well, since you work for this company, I suppose I can get relieved. So, for old times' sake, wouldn't you have some nice job there? [gets stomped on the head]
OOnishi
Is that for real??
Wh-what? Onishi-kun!
OOnishi
Damn you, Hasegawa! Am I supposed to deal with you like you used to deal with me? [flashbacks show Hasegawa beating Onishi up]
No... That-those were superior orders--
OOnishi
Shut the fuck up! If you wanna work here, you should take me as a role model and lose the beard, dickhead!
My-my beard?!
OOnishi
And while you're at it, take off those shades too!
No! Leave the shades alone!
OOnishi
So you want a job, but you don't wanna sacrifice yourself for it? I get it. You're really the old-timer kind [maji de dassai oyaji] - in short, a madao.
[Hasegawa gets angry and beats Onishi up.]
[Hasegawa remembers other job interviews he had later.]
I1Interviewer 1
Can't you do anything about that hairdo and the shades? They make you seem like an old guy with a taste for old stuff [massa ni datsuou na oji-san], in other words, a madao.
I2Interviewer 2
Your breath's bad and the shades are a bit... Gee, they make you seem like a depraved old fart [mattaku, darakushite ossan], or a madao, if we abbreviate.
Wherever I went, it was "madao" this, "madao" that. [he then remembers being at a soba stand]
CCustomer
Hey, old guy? What the hell's with this horrible bean soup [mazui dashi to oage]? Or madao for short?
Shut it!!! [Hasegawa knocks the man out.] What the hell's wrong with being a madao?!
Hey mister, we're closing.
Aah, can't you let me drink just a bit more? I wanna find a place where I can stay away from the reality that suffocates me.
I just hope you don't puke out whatever's suffocating you, 'cause it's probably something you ate. And take off those sunglasses, or you'll catch a cold.
Shaddup! I'm okay.
What are you saying? You're obviously not okay, mister [mattaku daijobu ja nai okyaku] - shortening, madao.
People with such unfriendly attitude is known around here as "men that nobody would like to date" [matomo ni dakaretakunai otoko], or more abbreviatedly, madao, sir.
[popping up suddenly] HOLD ON!!! What's the meaning of this??? So if a man is friendly, it's a man who Otae-san would really like to date [maji de dakaetai otoko], or in short, a madao-- [gets knocked out by a tray thrown by Otae at his face].
[Katsura, dressed as a Buddhist monk, passes by a washed-out Hasegawa.]
Mister, please wait a second.
What do you want from me, monk?
It's not monk; it's Katsura. This may be a bit sudden, but how would you like to hold up your sword and forge a new future for Japan?
What the hell are you saying so early in the-- [a rocket explodes next to them.]
We'd better run for now. [fleeing from the Shinsengumi]
Wh-what's that mean, brother?
It's not brother! It's Katsura!!!
[Hijikata and Okita are interrogating Hasegawa.]
I'm telling you, I'm a former agent of the Alien Affairs Bureau! Hasegawa! Check your records and you'll see!
Make up some believable lies at least.
It's true, damnit!
Well, I guess we'll have to strip you naked to find out.
You know, you're just an idiot who can't fool anyone [mattaku damasenai otoboke]. Abbreviating, a madao.
Now get stripped!
[narrating] In the end, wherever I went, I was a madao.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gin Tama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.