Hijikata quotes from Gin Tama

Hijikata

I won’t let you beat the Shinsengumi. If one of us falls, then we have no choice but to cut the opponent to shreds! [runs at Gintoki] [cut scene]

Kagura

It’s time for my TV drama!

Hey, Gin-san, if you just play around, I won’t pay you a dime!

Gintoki

[cut in the shoulder] Shut up, baldy, and call the police! The police!!

Hijikata

I am the police.

Gintoki

Well then, help me, will you?

Hijikata

I suppose I should. [thinking] He’s an odd one indeed…

Gintoki

That’s all then. Hey baldy, I’m going to the hospital!

Hijikata

Wait! Do you pity me?

Gintoki

Pity? If I had enough of that to give to you, then I’d put it over rice for dinner.

Gintoki

One fights to protect something, like you fought me to protect the Shinsengumi.

Hijikata

Protect? So what are you protecting?

Gintoki

My honor. See ya.

Okita

Hijikata-san, why do we have to go looking for some animal?

Hijikata

I don’t really know, but I hear it’s an order from all the way up top.

Okita

We don’t even know what it looks like, so how are we supposed to find it?

Hijikata

Well, we have to be thorough…[is suddenly wearing a dog collar and leash] what the hell are you doing Sougou?!

Okita

Presenting you to one of the top men.

Hijikata

What kind of shit are you spouting, man?!!

Okita

End your sentences with “woof” if you would.

Hijikata

Fuck you!

Hijikata

So here you are.

Gintoki

What do you want? Shouldn’t you be at work? Trying to find someone to play with?

Hijikata

I’d never ask you to play with me, ever!

Gintoki

I thought we settled our differences when we fought the other day.

Hijikata

Fine! Then we’ll just fight for fun this time!

Gintoki

No way. I’m not giving him to you. Don’t forget that I don’t bend to the will of the Shinsengumi.

Hijikata

Fine, then I’ll bend you to my will, you troglodyte!

Hijikata

Not good. What should we do, Sougou?

Okita

Well, Hijikata-san, if you’d just end your sentences with “woof”, then…

Hijikata

No way!

Hijikata

You bastard, you somehow manage to condescend even while asleep. Hey, wake up, asshole. Why are you napping when we’re supposed to be beefing up security?

Okita

What do you want mom? Today’s Sunday you know. Damnit, you’re really annoying.

Hijikata

It’s TUESDAY, you ass!!

Hijikata

Don’t make light of your work, asshole.

Okita

When have I been making light of my work? The only thing I’ve been making light of is you, Hijikata-san!

Hijikata

Fine, let’s take this outside, bitch!

Kondo

[hits them] What the hell are you retards doing during work? What the fuck? You think this is a goddamn fieldtrip? Get your heads out of your asses!

[hits Kondo] You’re the noisiest of them all, ribbit.

Okita

What was that? We’re putting our lives on the line doing this crappy job.

Hijikata

Weren’t you sleeping?

Okita

I don’t feel much drive since he might be the one involved with the pirates. Right, Hijikata-san?

Hijikata

I’m always driven. [leaning back, smoking]

Okita

Don’t let anyone see you like that, or they’ll all lose their drive. Look, Yamazaki’s even playing badminton. Badminton.

Hijikata

Yamazaki! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!

Hijikata

What the fuck are you doing?!

Okita

Don’t worry, don’t worry. He won’t die. We just have to protect him, right? This way, we can lure out the enemy and get them. It’s aggressive protection.

Okita

I think it’s only right that bad people like you and I are also in the Shinsengumi.

Hijikata

Ah, it’s so cold tonight. Do me a favor and pile it up over there, Sougou.

Okita

No problem!

[with logs in his mouth] mmmmph!!!