Kagura quotes from Gin Tama

It's okay, Ms. Queen. I'll just go back home now.

Kagura

What? Didn't you say you wanted to be free? Well let me help you be free!

Sure, I want to be free, but... I'd just be causing you trouble if we kept this up...

Kagura

That ain't no trouble at all! After all, we promised each other to be friends for a day! You don't need to have a reason to help a friend out, that's what we Edo girls do! I still have so many cool things to show you!

...Yes. We are friends. But...

Kagura

Huh?

...That's exactly why I can't cause you any more trouble. Thank you very much, Ms. Queen. It was just for half a day, but you made me feel like an average girl. It was wonderful. [bows] Well, I'll be going.

Kagura

Wait! That's not fair! How can you break a promise just like that? I still want to play around with you! I want us to get to know each other! It's not fair!

Yes, I know. I'm that selfish. So please, let me be selfish just one more time. Even though it was just one day, we'll always be friends.

Otae

Let’s begin with the chicken rice. Sensei, where do we start?

Gintoki

Kagura, cut the vegetables. Slice them into small pieces.

Kagura

Got it! [slices the onion, and table, into pieces with her hands]

Shinpachi

Hey! Now what will we do?

Kagura

I definitely sliced it into small pieces.

Gintoki

You’re supposed to cut vegetables this way. Oi! [throws an onion in the air and dices it with his bokuto] Yep, that’s how it’s done.

Shinpachi

Hey! No way can people cut onions with a bokuto!

Gintoki

It’s all in the mind! The mind! Not just cutting onions—you can do anything with the mind!

Otae

It seems like the base is ready. The rice should also…[pan to Kagura eating the rice out of the rice cooker]

Shinpachi

Hey!! The dish isn’t done! You’re not supposed to eat the rice yet!

Kagura

Can I have another helping?

Shinpachi

This is such a disaster…

Gintoki

Oi, oi, What did you do? We don’t have anymore rice here now…

Otae

I thought something like this would happen, so I’ve already prepared the completed dish.

Shinpachi

It can’t be…

Gintoki

It’s not some burnt eggs, is it? [They open the box to a disembodied scream. There are charred eggs inside.] I knew it…

Kagura

Do we really have to eat this?

Gintoki

Well yeah, I think the years have softened him [Katsura]. I wonder if he'd like to take this one [Sadaharu, that is chewing on Gintoki's head] too? We don't need anything from which we can't profit. This thing only gives us shit and pain.

Kagura

Aren't you being a bit unfair to Sadaharu? Keep crushing his skull, Sadaharu. [Sadaharu bites harder on Gintoki until he starts bleeding.]

Gintoki

Wait, wait, wait, wait! Got it, got it! Shit and pain, plus piss!

Kagura

Well, it's okay, Sadaharu. Let him go. [Sadaharu glomps Gintoki's head]

Shinpachi

It's NOT okay! You didn't add anything positive!

Otose

One week?

Gintoki

Yeah, I'll be sure to pay you within the next week, interests included.

Kagura

And I've promoted myself for that! I'll be able to eat as much sukonbu as I want!

Shinpachi

You've got such narrow goals...

Kagura

You may steal whatever you want, but keep your hands off my things, you cat-eared two-timer!

If you can't look after your stuff, then stop acting so tough, you brat!

Kagura

Just you try it, fox-eared dumbass! I hope a car runs you over!

Who's gets run over by a car these days, you little bitch?!

Kagura

Say what?!

Katsura

So, you decided to heed my advice and train Sadaharu?

Gintoki

Don't be stupid! Why would I change my mind just by listening to you?

Kagura

We're gonna take Sadaharu here to TV!

Katsura

TV?

Gintoki

That's why we're training! Not that it would matter to you, anyway-- WAAARGH! [Sadaharu stomps on Gintoki and Shinpachi's groins with its hind feet.]

Kagura

Yeah, great! Hit 'em where it hurts, Sadaharu!

Gintoki

What the crap does that guy think he's doing? Even being in the most wanted list, he dares to show up on TV in disguise.

Shinpachi

I think he really loves his pet.

Kagura

Not just the pet; I think he loves to play dress-up.

Hasegawa

You may still be young, kiddo, but remember to think about the consequences before you do anything. Life's pretty long, you know.

Kagura

I don't want no advice from a loser like you. [starts to leave] See ya, good-for-nothing old fart [maru de dame na ossan]. Or madao, to shorten it. C'mon, Sadaharu.

Kagura

Hey, mister. It's been a while since we've met. Why'd you come back?

Hasegawa

Oh, it's because I was fired again.

Kagura

Why were you fired again?

Hasegawa

Well... I decided to follow my principles. But I'm not upset, 'cause even though I ain't of much use, I've decided to live my life the way I want.

Kagura

What do you think you're doing, unemployed and joking around with a girl? [starts leaving.] C'mon, Sadaharu. See ya, old fart who lives the way he wants without getting anything [massugu ikitemo da inashi-na jinsei-na ossan]. Or madao, to shorten it.

Hasegawa

[smirks, as Kagura leaves.] Somehow, that still doesn't quite sound good.

Kagura

So, you'll give me anything I can shoot at?

Hasegawa

Yeah, if you can hit it! Aim carefully...

Kagura

Gimme the shades, old fart.

Hasegawa

You got it all wrong! You're supposed to aim at these things right-- [gets his watch shot.]

Okita

[brandishing another rifle.] Give me the watch. [stares at Kagura.]

Hasegawa

Heeey, wait a second! Hold on! I know I said I'd give you anything you'd hit, but not my own things! You hear?! [Kagura and Okita point at him and start shooting as Shinpachi watches.]

Kagura

Got your beard!

Okita

Got your overcoat.

Kagura

Got one of your nipples!

Gintoki

Eh? An underwear thief?

Shinpachi

Yeah. It seems it happened while I was at the Odd Jobs, she had her underwear stolen twice.

[while Shinpachi speaks.] Whose coffee and chocolate ice cream is this?

Gintoki

Mine.

Kagura

The veal fillets are mine!

Shinpachi

Can you do anything about it?

Gintoki

[eating his ice cream.] What are you talking about?

Shinpachi

I just told you, a panty thief!

Gintoki

Oh, panty thief?

Shinpachi

That's right! While I was living at the Odd Jobs, her underwear was stolen twice! Aren't you gonna do anything?

Gintoki

[still eating the ice cream.] Do anything about what?

Shinpachi

[exasperated] I'm telling you! The thief who's stealing underwear! Panties! [everyone in the restaurant suddenly turns their attention to Shinpachi.]

Gintoki

[nonchalantly] Oooh, a panty thief, right?

Shinpachi

Are you even listening?

Gintoki

I heard that, a long time ago, people wore no underwear beneath their clothes. Craftswomen, girls walking around the street, little girls, even princesses...

Shinpachi

Isn't it all the same? If you wanted to give examples, you should've given a broader age gap to nclude old women, adult women and young girls.

Gintoki

You dumbass! We're not talking about underwear, panties or wearing nothing! If we were talking about lingerie, we should talk only about young girls!

Kagura

Hey, only old men say "panties" these days.

Shinpachi

Eh? Are you serious?

Gintoki

You can't say "scantily clad" either.

Shinpachi

Nobody says that these days.

Gintoki

One thing you should never say is "thong". That word robs the girls from their shyness and deprives men from their joy.

Kagura

Well, I'm wearing a tie-up thong! [Gintoki and Shinpachi get startled.]

Gintoki

You liar! That's a lie!

Kagura

I'm not lying. I've been wearing the same garments for years now. But now they're so wasted, there's only the cord left.

Shinpachi

What kind of underwear is that?

Kagura

In a way, you may say it's "vintage panties".

Gintoki

They're not worth a cent. Take 'em off.