Kagura quotes from Gin Tama

Gintoki

It isn’t money or possessions that matter in this life, it’s love!

Kagura

So this is the state of the youth of today, is it?

Shinpachi

Huh? Why are you lecturing me like I’m a spoiled brat?

Kagura

Is this inheritance worth more than a sukonbu?

Gintoki

More than a whole family pack!

Gintoki

Looks like we’re going full speed ahead on the hairpin investigation.

Shinpachi

What??

Gintoki

Listen up! Let’s say you drink too much strawberry milk, and have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, but it’s cold outside your bed. You don’t want to get up, but the urge to urinate is just too strong! You make up your mind to go! You run to the bathroom, stand in front of the toilet, and let loose! You think that all your life has led to this moment! But then you realize. It isn’t the bathroom! You’re still in bed! That feeling of lukewarm wetness spreads like wildfire! But you don’t stop! You can’t stop! That’s what I’m talking about! That’s the truth of the strawberry milk! Do you get it?

Kagura

Strawberry milk!

Shinpachi

Is that right... Huh?

STRAWBERRY MILK! STRAWBERRY MILK!

Kagura

[letting Sadaharu smell the hairpin] When you find her, you can chew this up all you like, Sadaharu!

Shinpachi

It doesn’t work like that! Chew it up? And how will he find her?

Kagura

By smell.

Shinpachi

It’s been 50 years! There’s no smell left.

Kagura

You never know. Maybe she has terrible BO or something…

Shinpachi

BO? Don’t crush a young man’s conception of the female body, Miss Sukonbu!

Gintoki

Don’t worry, Shinpachi-kun. Real babes smell good, no matter how sweaty they get. But I suppose some might smell, in spite of being hot…

Shinpachi

Crazy man.

Gintoki

Oh well, rather than the perfect woman, I think I’d rather choose someone who really loves me, or some sappy B.S…

Kagura

Oh mister ant, are you enjoying your walk?

Otose

Why are you trying to reconcile the harsh truth with simple objects? I’m not an ant, I’m an Ayano!

Shinpachi

Hey, I think you hit something back there!

Kagura

I’m sure it was nothing.

Gintoki

Compared to our endeavor, the lives of others mean little.

Shinpachi

That was a person! A person! A person!

Gintoki

No, it wasn’t.

Kagura

If anything, it was a mushroom or maybe a toadstool.

Otose

You people make me sick.

Gintoki

I know who did it. This is the culprit! [points to Kagura, and Kagura breaks his finger] What the hell was that for?

Kagura

People who tell unfunny jokes get their fingers broken.

Gintoki

Wrong! And I was going to show you a way to get back home free too!

Well, deportation isn’t exactly free…

Gintoki

She’d be fine, even if we threw her into space.

Kagura

I’m not a cockroach!

Gintoki

Watch your tone! Apologize to the poor cockroaches! They’re the most durable beings on the planet! Apologize to the cockroaches!

Shinpachi

S-s-s-s-orry! I didn’t mean to interrupt your pleasurable night time encounter! Please, enjoy the concealment of the darkness to its fullest!

Gintoki

Oi.

Kagura

Ignorant mortals. Tremble before my power! Uwahahahaha!

Shinpachi

Are you sleepwalking? What kind of dream are you having? A shot glass and a cat?!

Kagura

Men’s lives are so puny…

Gintoki

Oi.

Shinpachi

[to Kagura] Where did this menacing tone come from?

Is there a name?

Kagura

Em…Hammy.

Don’t make stuff up! What kind of parents would name their kid that?

Kagura

I forgot, but no big deal…

Shinpachi

This is no good. I’m so dizzy, I can’t walk.

Kagura

I’ve been in the sun so long, I’m getting light headed. Piggyback!

Gintoki

What are you two brats whining about? Who do you think is the most tired?! It’s with-a-two-day-hangover, with-body-beat-up, he-did-his-best Gin-san!

Shinpachi

But I’m really dizzy you know.

Kagura

Yeah, I’m so light headed!

Gintoki

Whatever, I’m going home. [starts walking away, then stops] Cut the crap already! I’ll give you a piggyback or whatever! [Kagura and Shinpachi run to Gintoki] What the hell, you’re just bursting with energy…

Kagura

Gin-chan, I feel like eating ramen!

Shinpachi

I want sushi, too!

Gintoki

Don’t think you can eat food like that unless it’s your birthday. Geez, you guys are so heavy, dammit.

Katsura

This time, you’re holding on to them as tightly as you can.

Kagura

Gin-chan, what’s ‘in cahoots’?

Gintoki

[snores]

Kagura

Hey, don’t fake it, you stupid natural perm!

What in the world is this? Sour! Even more sour than an old man’s armpits!

Kagura

That’s what’s so good about it. Even an old man’s armpits grow on you with prolonged exposure!

No thanks. Not in a million years.