Kagura quotes from Gin Tama

Shinpachi

What are you doing, Kagura-chan? This is rock, paper, scissors! You don’t hit anyone!

Kagura

The first blow decides the match!

Shinpachi

But it’s rock, paper, scissors!

Gintoki

[getting up] Fine then. If you’re willing to go at it, then so am I! [draws his bokuto]

Shinpachi

I’m telling you, it’s rock, paper, scissors!!

Gintoki

Rock, paper, scissors!

Shinpachi

[to Kagura] You’re doing shadow puppets? What the hell is that?

Kagura

Can’t you see? It’s a crab. A crab.

Gintoki

[has finger puppets] Well, this is better than last time…Your rock can’t stand up to my family here.

Shinpachi

What family is that?!

Gintoki

[moving the dad puppet] You should just admit defeat!

Shinpachi

Goddamn it, it’s rock, paper, scissors!

Kagura

You lose, Shinpachi. Work hard now.

Shinpachi

Why do I lose?

All right, he wins.

Gintoki

[in English] Victory.

Shinpachi

Eeeeeh??

Kagura

See you, loser. Work hard, now.

Gintoki

That’s right, Shinpachi. The client is God. Do whatever he says…Hey, what’s going on?

What do you mean? The winner gets the privilege of working for me.

Gintoki

[feebly] Oh, that’s not right…

Hijikata

I won’t let you beat the Shinsengumi. If one of us falls, then we have no choice but to cut the opponent to shreds! [runs at Gintoki] [cut scene]

Kagura

It’s time for my TV drama!

Kagura

Old lady, can I have some sukonbu?

Take care.

Kagura

[singing] Deer shit…

Kagura

What are you doing in front of my shop, you little brats? Did someone drop some porn over there or something?

It’s the sukonbu girl!

Run! We’ll all start smelling like sukonbu!

Kagura

Go home and suck on your Mom’s teat.

Shinpachi

Did you buy the toilet paper?

Kagura

Here you go. [hands him one roll]

Shinpachi

Kagura-chan, don’t you usually buy a pack with a bunch of rolls in it? This won’t be enough if someone eats something disagreeable.

Kagura

Don’t complain. I’m doing you a favor. Who are you, my Mother-in-law? Once, a lonely samurai lived in the woods, and he didn’t have any toilet paper, so he…

Shinpachi

There’s no fable like that! Whom did you hear that from?

Kagura

Gin-chan told me.

Shinpachi

Don’t listen to what he says.

Gintoki

Shut up, all of you.

Kagura

I’m not going to take that from some wet behind the ears brat!

Shinpachi

What’s that? You’re younger than me, aren’t you? [holds up the toilet paper roll for emphasis]

Gintoki

[staring at Sadaharu] Shinpachi, what’s that white thing?

Shinpachi

What does it look like? Toilet paper!

Gintoki

No, I meant that huge white thing.

Shinpachi

Huge or small, there's just one of it, so cut that... [turns to finally notice Sadaharu] Waaah! Where did this thing come from?!

Kagura

Oh, I picked it up around back. Cute, isn’t it?

Gintoki

What do you mean, “picked it up”? If you’re going to get a pet, get one we can identify!

Kagura

Sadaharu.

Shinpachi

You just made that up! I can tell you just made that up!

Shinpachi

Move him, Kagura-chan.

Gintoki

I feel like I’m going to burst.

Kagura

So now you know how I feel…

Shinpachi

No, not that kind of feeling…

Gintoki

That damn Sadaharu slobbered all over my Jump!

Kagura

He’s so cute, slobber and all!

Shinpachi

He peed all over Otsuu-chan’s debut CD!

Kagura

Sadaharu’s cuter than that Otsuu anyway!

Shinpachi

No, they won’t! No matter how much calcium you get, you’ll still have broken bones after being hit by a car!

Gintoki

I got hit too, but I’m still kicking! It’s all thanks to my daily intake of this miracle elixir.

Shinpachi

You only drink strawberry milk! Don’t act like some tough guy!

Gintoki

What’s that? I drink milk coffee too.

Kagura

[eating] It’s got about 100 calories per serving, low salt content, and all the omega fatty acids you could want. Milk’s great.

Shinpachi

That’s my food!

Gintoki

Drink the strawberry milk. Strawberry milk.

Shinpachi

Oh gross. Sickly sweet!

Gintoki

What was that?! Gintoki has breath like a field of flowers.

Shinpachi

Uwah! Shinpachi takes 99 points of damage!

Kagura

Pops, yo! Mom, yo! Hey, hey, ho! I'm looking for a My House and i found a manhole! Can't stand up anymore, I'm tired from my adventure...Where's my house?

Shinpachi

Don’t rap it either! What are you singing about anyway?!

Gintoki

Goodness. There’s so many wannabes these days…It’s all because of calcium deficiency.

Kagura

It looks like we’re not welcome here! It’s like that fall in middle school when Hamaru-kun, who didn’t get mad even if called pimple face or crater boy, went on a rampage when I spoke to him and threw his chair at me!

Shinpachi

Who the hell is Hamaru-kun?

Shinpachi

What’s with the sukonbu?

Kagura

When I hear a sad story, my treats are the refuge of my soul…