Shinpachi quotes from Gin Tama

Gintoki

Rock, paper, scissors!

Shinpachi

[to Kagura] You’re doing shadow puppets? What the hell is that?

Kagura

Can’t you see? It’s a crab. A crab.

Gintoki

[has finger puppets] Well, this is better than last time…Your rock can’t stand up to my family here.

Shinpachi

What family is that?!

Gintoki

[moving the dad puppet] You should just admit defeat!

Shinpachi

Goddamn it, it’s rock, paper, scissors!

Kagura

You lose, Shinpachi. Work hard now.

Shinpachi

Why do I lose?

All right, he wins.

Gintoki

[in English] Victory.

Shinpachi

Eeeeeh??

Kagura

See you, loser. Work hard, now.

Gintoki

That’s right, Shinpachi. The client is God. Do whatever he says…Hey, what’s going on?

What do you mean? The winner gets the privilege of working for me.

Gintoki

[feebly] Oh, that’s not right…

Shinpachi

Gin-san, Gin-san, it’s an emergency!

Gintoki

What’s up, four-eyes?

Shinpachi

That stalker who was following my sister around was actually Shinsengumi Commander Kondo Isao!

Gintoki

Yeah, I heard.

Shinpachi

You did? From whom?

Gintoki

Oogushi-kun.

Shinpachi

Oogushi-kun?

Gintoki

Yep, Oogushi-kun.

Shinpachi

Did you buy the toilet paper?

Kagura

Here you go. [hands him one roll]

Shinpachi

Kagura-chan, don’t you usually buy a pack with a bunch of rolls in it? This won’t be enough if someone eats something disagreeable.

Kagura

Don’t complain. I’m doing you a favor. Who are you, my Mother-in-law? Once, a lonely samurai lived in the woods, and he didn’t have any toilet paper, so he…

Shinpachi

There’s no fable like that! Whom did you hear that from?

Kagura

Gin-chan told me.

Shinpachi

Don’t listen to what he says.

Gintoki

Shut up, all of you.

Kagura

I’m not going to take that from some wet behind the ears brat!

Shinpachi

What’s that? You’re younger than me, aren’t you? [holds up the toilet paper roll for emphasis]

Gintoki

[staring at Sadaharu] Shinpachi, what’s that white thing?

Shinpachi

What does it look like? Toilet paper!

Gintoki

No, I meant that huge white thing.

Shinpachi

Huge or small, there's just one of it, so cut that... [turns to finally notice Sadaharu] Waaah! Where did this thing come from?!

Kagura

Oh, I picked it up around back. Cute, isn’t it?

Gintoki

What do you mean, “picked it up”? If you’re going to get a pet, get one we can identify!

Kagura

Sadaharu.

Shinpachi

You just made that up! I can tell you just made that up!

Gintoki

He’ll be fine. A sadaharu can make it just fine.

Shinpachi

Why are you calling it Sadaharu now?!

Gintoki

You understand why, Sadaha—[gets his head bitten by Sadaharu]

Gintoki

At any rate, I suppose I’ll let Shigeho stay here until we find him a new home.

Shinpachi

It’s Sadaharu, isn’t it?

Shinpachi

Move him, Kagura-chan.

Gintoki

I feel like I’m going to burst.

Kagura

So now you know how I feel…

Shinpachi

No, not that kind of feeling…

Gintoki

That damn Sadaharu slobbered all over my Jump!

Kagura

He’s so cute, slobber and all!

Shinpachi

He peed all over Otsuu-chan’s debut CD!

Kagura

Sadaharu’s cuter than that Otsuu anyway!

Gintoki

By learning a painful truth, a girl takes the first step towards womanhood, and a geeky fanboy will become a man.

Shinpachi

Are you talking about me?! Are you calling me a geeky fanboy?! I’ll never change!

Shinpachi

Are you trying to stick me with him?

Gintoki

Well, your sister does have a stalker on her tail, right?

Shinpachi

You took care of that, Gin-san!

Gintoki

So I scratch your back, you scratch mine. This’ll work, as far as payment.

Shinpachi

Listen to me, dumbass!

Gintoki

[to Sadaharu] Don’t bite me.

Otae

We already have one useless, pubescent boy living here, so taking on another would be…

Shinpachi

What do you mean, “useless”? And this is a dog!

Shinpachi

He certainly looks cute, doesn’t he…

Gintoki

He must be a bio-weapon in the shape of a dog.

Shinpachi

[voiceover] Gin-san, Gin-san, did you see the game the other day?

Gintoki

[voiceover] Uh, yeah, I saw it.

Shinpachi

It sure was great, wasn’t it?

Gintoki

Yeah. I never thought we’d win.

Shinpachi

Win?

Gintoki

Yeah, the World Baseball Classic.

Shinpachi

No, I’m talking about the World Cup!

Gintoki

Oh, that.

Shinpachi

What do you mean, “oh that”? It’s all anyone’s talking about!

Gintoki

Never mind that. Why’re we airing an anime special when the whole world’s gaga about soccer? An hour long special at that!

Shinpachi

Don’t complain. Let’s just get started.