Gintoki quotes from Gin Tama

Otose

Can’t you just once pay up front, or maybe even on time? Or even forget it altogether and just say, “Oh, nice day isn’t it?” You’re terrible!

Gintoki

If it’s small talk you want, then I’ll give you small talk! It’s suuuuuch a niiiice daaaaay! Ugh, I can’t. It feels like cotton in my mouth.

Otose

Why don’t you use that no-good mouth to get some money?! Or should I do it? I bet those red lips would fetch a high price in the red light district!

Gintoki

Shut up! My lips exist solely for strawberry milk and chocolate parfaits.

Otose

If you’ve got time to eat filth like that, then pay the damned rent, even if it’s just 1 yen of it!

Gintoki

My life’s more important to me than the damned rent.

Otose

You think you can pay for that monster when you can’t even get your own shit together?

Gintoki

I was never very flexible. Who cares if a little shit remains?

Otose

Not that kind of shit…

Gintoki

I know who did it. This is the culprit! [points to Kagura, and Kagura breaks his finger] What the hell was that for?

Kagura

People who tell unfunny jokes get their fingers broken.

Gintoki

Wrong! And I was going to show you a way to get back home free too!

Well, deportation isn’t exactly free…

Gintoki

She’d be fine, even if we threw her into space.

Kagura

I’m not a cockroach!

Gintoki

Watch your tone! Apologize to the poor cockroaches! They’re the most durable beings on the planet! Apologize to the cockroaches!

Shinpachi

S-s-s-s-orry! I didn’t mean to interrupt your pleasurable night time encounter! Please, enjoy the concealment of the darkness to its fullest!

Gintoki

Oi.

Kagura

Ignorant mortals. Tremble before my power! Uwahahahaha!

Shinpachi

Are you sleepwalking? What kind of dream are you having? A shot glass and a cat?!

Kagura

Men’s lives are so puny…

Gintoki

Oi.

Shinpachi

[to Kagura] Where did this menacing tone come from?

Gintoki

All right, listen up you guys. The story of sugar is that a lot of people got together, and went to the land of sugar! It was a long, long time ago.

Sensei, that’s just a fairy tale!

I’m afraid she got mixed up in something terrible!

Gintoki

Yeah…there’s a chance…she could be mixed up in some giant…ham processing machine…

I was thinking she got caught up in some kind of trouble…

Gintoki

Trouble? Oh, like ham trouble?

Gintoki

I can’t be bothered doing this. Let’s just buy some ham and pass it off as her.

Shinpachi

Who’re you trying to fool?! How long do you intend to use the ham joke?!

Daraku

If there’s something in your way, kill it. Kill it and get outta here! There’s a drama on tonight that I have to watch.

Gintoki

Me too.

Gintoki

Do you want me to tell you the three kinds of people I hate? First! Girls who fool around during preparations for a school festival! Second! Foolish boys who tag along with them, unnecessarily aroused! Third! Teachers who just go along with it, smiling serenely!

Daraku

Geez. All you’re saying is you hate school festivals. I bet you had a gloomy youth…

Gintoki

Not as bad as yours. Fooling around in a restroom at your age…still, what I like about you is that you look like a leaf that can’t dress right.

Katsura

Speaking of which, why were you there?

Gintoki

Speaking of which, who the hell were those guys?

Gintoki

'A person’s life is like carrying a heavy burden while walking a long road.' A long time ago, a guy named Tokugawa Nobuhide said that.

Katsura

What’s with the mixed names? It’s Lord Ieyasu, Lord Ieyasu!

Look, we don’t need guys like you.

Gintoki

[dressed in a space pirate outfit] How rude. We want to be pirates too! Take us with you! Right, Zura?

Katsura

It’s not Zura; it’s Captain Katsura.

Gintoki

We’re mischievous guys who’ve dreamt of becoming pirates ever since we were little. We’re looking for the secret treasure called ‘One Park’. Right, Zura?

Katsura

It’s not Zura; it’s Captain Katsura.

Whatever. Go find it yourselves.

Gintoki

Don’t say that. Look, my hand’s a hook. I can only be a pirate or a coat hanger now.