Marzipan's not candy! It's a unique substance unto itself, like Velveeta or plutonium.
S4The Nanny and the Professor
DDoyle
What is this?
Strawberry ice cream.
DDoyle
It has strawberries in it.
I don't even know how to respond to that.
Yes, what about that? This guy's risking everything - his job, his reputation.
Yes, well. . .he'll always have Paris.
How long have you been waiting with that one?
I just had a feeling the opportunity would present itself eventually.
Maybe it's a phase. It'll pass.
Oh, yeah, or he will.
No, I don't wanna know where you were, and I don't wanna know what you were doing or who you were doing it with. I had to cover for you when Doyle noticed that you were gone, so I told him that you were at a family thing, and as far as I'm concerned, that's where you were - at your family thing. And in the future, I want nothing to do with anything to do with what you were doing tonight or who you were doing it with, especially who! Now, go to sleep.
I smell like pipe tobacco.
Oh, jeez.
Um, listen, we should talk about what we're gonna do.
About what?
I mean, you know, what we're gonna, uh, say to people about us.
Hm, how about "yahoo"?
No, I'm talking about what we're gonna say to my parents about us.
Oh, well, I thought we'd say that we're having repeated sexual encounters out of wedlock continuously as Catholic schoolchildren are walking by.
S4In the Clamor and the Clangor
You told me the Cookie Monster was one of the Seven Deadly Sins.
Gluttony.
You want me to call you at Yale in the middle of the night so I can say, "Hey, drive 20 miles to stand in the snow with Mommy"?
Yes.
And then we take the "Craziest Mother-Daughter" title from Judy and Liza.
Hey! I sat up with you all night when you had the chicken pox. I held your hands so that you couldn't scratch your face and scar your perfect skin. You look that way because of me.
Night, mom.
But, ah, the chicken pox!
Beefaroni, it's calling you!
Okay, now just hold the flashlight, do not do any moving spotlight gags and point it at me and yell "Freeze, drop your weapons."
[laughs] How about if I shine it on the wall and do a dirty hand puppet show?
Just stand back so the lightning only strikes you.
Well, if you have a big one you don't need a small one. [Lorelai opens her mouth to speak] Don't say 'dirty', it's too easy. Hold these. [Gives her tools]
S4A Family Matter
Are you doing like a Mrs. Robinson thing with my mother?
Yes. I was visiting Richard one day and he stepped out and Emily lit a cigarette and did that triangle thing with her thigh.
Was she at the professor's again last night?
Yes, but she claims she was up all night cramming.
Well, she was.
Oh, ick!
[Jess returns to Stars Hollow to retrieve the car that Luke stole from him.]
So, you got anything you wanna say?
... You coulda washed it once in a while?
Okay, fine. The car is yours. Our business here is done. Hasta la vista. Have a nice life.
Our business here is NOT done. My car is wrecked because of you!
Oh, yeah?
3 of the tires are leaking, it's got no oil, the floats in the carburetor are probably cracked so it's back-firing like mad. I mean, people were DUCKING when I was driving by. Then it stalled and wouldn't start.
Well, you can find Mr. Goodwrench in the yellow pages, I think it's under M, or is it G? I can never tell with those kinds of things.
You're paying for the repairs.
Oh, don't make me laugh.
It's broken because of you.
That thing was a piece of junk to begin with; the paint is the only thing holding it together!
And the expired registration? I'm gonna have to pay a fine!
So, I guess it didn't work out with your dad, huh?
It worked out fine.
So, what are you doing back East, buddy? Still searchin'?
Been travelin'.
Well, thanks for all the swell cards and letters you sent while you were away.
You kicked me out! What were you expecting, a candygram?!
I didn't kick you out, you got yourself kicked out.
Nice spin, you should work for Bush!
So what did you get out of this Kerouac trip of yours? You write the great American novel or something? You learn how to play the harmonica?
What do you care? You're not my guardian anymore.
And I bless every day that I'm not.
Well, when you're not good at something, it's best to cut and run.
Aww, sorry I tried to give you a decent life, Jess. Sorry I didn't think driving a fork-lift for the rest of your life was good enough for you.
Oh, that is condescending, isn't it? I thought you were a friend of the working man.
Oh, that sister of mine, what a prize. What a prize!
What does she have to do with any of this?
I tell her about the car, she runs and tells you. That's what happened, right? And her claiming she had no contact.
Again, the car is mine! Liz was doing the right thing. That's what family does!
Family? What a joke coming from you.
Go clean your counters, I'm tired.
That had all the tact of a Nazi stormtrooper.
I'm not denying that we've got a May-December romance going on here.
This is not May-December. This is May-Ming Dynasty.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.