So what are we watching?
"SHHHHH"
Shhhhindler's List? Oh, Full house. You know I think the Olsen twins weigh less now than they did on that show.
S6Bridesmaids Revisited
[Zack proposes to Lane and pulls out a ring]
I got it at the pawn shop. It belonged to like an Elk or a Moose or something but it looked cool and I could afford it so I got it.
There you are!
Here I am.
I was looking all over for you! I didn't see you when I was walking down the aisle, I looked for you during the ceremony, where were you?
Here.
'Here'. You missed the wedding?
I'll apologize to Honor later.
Forget Honor, what's going on? Rory?
You didn't say a word. You just let me walk into a room full of girls you'd had sex with. [Logan closes his eyes] No, wait, I'm sorry. You only had sex with two and then with one of them, you just 'fooled around with', whatever that means. She spared me the exact parameters of the 'fooling around', you wanna fill me in?
Rory...
You know what, never mind, got a good imagination, I can figure it out.
Okay, look.
I can't believe it. You didn't just cheat on me, you really cheated on me!
I didn't cheat on you.
Oh, so you didn't sleep with-?
No, I did, but we were broken up.
No, you were broken up, not me, I thought we were just taking some time!
Apart, not seeing each other.
Yes: taking some time, not seeing each other for a while, that doesn't mean 'broken up'!
Oh, come on!
No! When... To break up, you have to tell the other person, you can't just decide that you're broken up and then just go off and... God, I can't believe I fell for all your stupid tricks! The coffee cart and going to my mother, you went to my mother, why would you bother going through that? You had plenty of back up, what do you need me for?!
Because I love you.
No! Don't!
Rory, I didn't cheat on you, I didn't lie to you!
You didn't tell me!
Of course not! Why would I tell you, why would I want you to be hurt and upset and angry?!
Blondie, Dizzy, I loved the cover, pretending all those girls were all worthless idiots!
They are worthless idiots, shooting their mouths off in front of you like that!
It's not their fault!
It is their fault, they love doing crap like this, causing trouble!
We were only apart for, like, two seconds and you managed to sleep with every one of your sister's friends! How did you even do that, I mean, did you work them in shifts, were there charts, signals, B-12 shots?!
I was depressed. I was lonely, I was upset, I've known these girls forever, it was just companionship, okay, it meant nothing!
S6I'm OK, You're OK
Well, well, if it isn't New Haven's favorite whorehound!
Is Rory here?
Yes.
Can I talk to her?
No. You can talk to me. [Opens door] What do you want to talk about? Life? Love? Common symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases? ...Rashes, sores, insanity.
I know you cheated on Rory.
I did not cheat on Rory.
Are you going to deny it? Are you serious?
We were apart!
Oh please!
We were, we weren't together! And why the hell am I arguing with you? I don't want you back!
You, Logan Huntzburger, are nothing but a two-bit, spoiled, waste of a trust fund! You offer nothing to women or the world in general! If you were to disappear from the face of the earth tomorrow, the only person that would miss you is your Porsche dealer!
No one invited you in here. Now get out before I go Bonaduce on your ass!
Did you know I have never seen the Liberty Bell?
Communist.
Ok I'm going to take these guys [spiders] outside. Any particular place you want em?
Yea someplace shady. Sheltered from the elements. And close to a talking pig.
Hey will you come over later tonight? I have a cricket cornered in a paper cup in the living room. I poked holes in it so it could breathe and then I taped it to the floor 'cause he kept jumping out and then I put books on top of the tape in case it wasn't sticky enough so don't move the books until you're ready for transport.
I have some really really big news.
What?
[Lane shows her the engagement ring]
You've become a shriner?
[Outside Rory and Lane are screaming and jumping up and down]
Rorys here!
She is?
Yea she's outside bouncing around with Lane.
How come she came home?
I dunno...bouncing lessons?
[Lane shows her the engagement ring]
You won the Superbowl?
Apparently there's a fight to the death between Richard and Emily and an evil German supercomputer.
Ooo I wanna hear.
[On speakerphone]
I thought we paid four thousand dollars for a computer to give us directions, not to babysit us and make decisions for us on how to live our lives. I mean what's next? The radio won't turn on if it doesn't like the song? The engine won't turn on if the cup of coffee I'm holding is too hot? Maybe the car won't go in reverse if it doesn't like the smell of my perfume!
No but I do have this incredibly bad perfume that Luke gave me for Christmas last year that I can spray around the house. It's like a cross between Love's Baby Soft and Curious by Britney Spears with just a hint of Lysol.
[Sookie enters with an armful of tinfoil trays]
Food!
No I'm Lorelai
Heavy!
Now that's just mean!
I'm sorry. But after you almost get killed on a plane, and a freeway, why would you choose to go on a crazy, terrifying roller coaster?
Oh boy
I mean at that point just stay home right?
It's a horror movie
But it doesn't make sense
It's not supposed to make sense. It's supposed to make you sick.
Whatever. I'm going over to the inn. Wanna come over and hang?
No I gotta run some errands. I'll just meet you later.
Alright, but watch out that a streetlight doesn't accidentally break off, swing down, and decapitate you!
Will do.
I mean why bother even calling it Final Destination 3. At that point just call it Now You're Really, Really, Really Dead!
Ok see I'm sorry. They did not even come up with a villain. No Freddy? No Jason? The villain is death? How lame is that? Who is seeing this movie?
Apparently we are. Many many times.
But how can they make money like that? Where's the Halloween mask? Where's the costume? How come they keep making the same stupid movie over and over again?
Cesar, thank God. We need something to put in her mouth.
Two cheeseburgers and a copy of Ziegfield's book. We are missing the Boat.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.