Norman Mailer, I'm Pregnant!
S5Norman Mailer, I'm Pregnant!
Am I wearing the same thing I wore last Friday night?
What?
Halfway here I was struck by the overwhelming feeling that I wore this exact outfit to last Friday night, and there’s no way I’m going in there to see my mother wearing the same thing I wore last Friday night because I may not remember but she sure as hell will.
I don’t know.
You don’t know?
You don’t remember but you expect me to?
Well, you look at me more than I look at me; you sit across from me at dinner. You had more of a chance to imprint my ensemble in your brain.
Sorry, no imprint.
Oh, that hurts.
Well I’m sure you don’t remember what I was wearing.
I most certainly do.
Okay, what was I wearing?
You were wearing a lovely and delicately understated, uh, outfit… well, you were definitely wearing these arms.
Oh, way to imprint, lady.
Stand in front of me, just in case. (Rings doorbell.)
MMaid
Hello.
Hi, we should be on the guest list. Holstein and Liza are expecting us. (Maid looks confused.)
Okay. Let’s try it straight. Hi, we’re here for dinner. I’m Lorelai the daughter, this is Rory the granddaughter.
MMaid
Oh! Okay, I’m sorry. Right this way.
She’s acting weird.
She knows I’m wearing the same outfit as last week.
She wasn’t here last week.
The world’s small, maids talk.
About you?
Yes.
Oh. With all that’s going on in the world, all the maids in existence are talking about you.
Huh. ‘Kay, now you’re making me seem a little stuck up.
MMaid
Can I get you something to drink?
Yes, a martini please.
Coke, please.
Oh, you know, maybe we should wait for my mother. Is she coming down soon?
MMaid
No.
Oh. Okay. Do you know if she saw what I was wearing through the window?
S5You Jump, I Jump, Jack
It's your choice, Ace. People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me, it's one less minute you haven't lived.
[Comes out in the dress Logan has bought her.]
I got your event integrity right here, mister.
[Looking down from top of 8-story high scaffolding]
High. We are very, very high.
I've been higher.
I meant distance from the ground.
That, too.
That was a once in a life time experience!
Only if you want it to be.
[Lane and Zack are finishing up their first date at their place, and Zack walks her to her bedroom.]
Goodnight, Zack.
Goodnight.
[Lane opens her door to see their bandmate Brian passed out on her bed.]
Oh, no.
This is bad news: Once he hits his REM state, Motörhead wouldn't wake him.
I am not a fan of ladders.
They scare the crap out of me too.
S5The Party's Over
You sleep with one old guy, and suddenly you're Catherine Zeta-Jones.
[Directing the setup of chairs for her party] Just move them so people can navigate around them comfortably. [They move chairs] Not that far apart. Not that far apart! Good Lord, if someone needs that much room to get around a chair they shouldn't be at a party, they should be on a treadmill.
Refill?
Sure, why not?
Because drinking is bad. It's very, very bad and we're bad for doing it. [To Rory] Spank me.
I think the hangover tomorrow will be punishment enough.
Thank you for not being related to me.
[Lorelai snickers]
That came out wrong.
No, I got it.
[Rory starts crying after Dean leaves]
[gently] You’ll be okay.
[shakes her head] No, I won't.
Okay, that's it. Back to the pool house, men. We have some serious bucking up to do here.
I swiped some Scotch.
I'll reenact the Passion of the Christ.
[The boys cheer and head inside.]
Hey Ace, nothing ever seems quite as bad after Finn's Passion of the Christ. Except Finn's Passion of the Christ. [He puts her arm around her. They go inside.]
S5Emily Says Hello
We attended the Dorman School Bazaar last week. It was a big formal gathering. All our friends were there. And at dinner, he made me reach for the butter.
What?
It was sitting right there in front of him, and yet he didn't offer me the dish. He buttered his own roll, offered the dish to the man next to him, and that was it.
And that's why you think he's moved on?
It was a total disregard for my needs. I might as well not have had a roll in front of me at all.
Well, Mom, I'm sorry.
It's very upsetting.
I think it's time for me to date.
[chokes] Oh, my God!
I want to go on a date.
With a man?
No, a weasel. Of course with a man.
I'm not hearing this.
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