TV show quotes
Hey, I should bring steak sauce, right?
For what?
Pizza.
I just got back from Italy.
So?
So they'd shoot you in Italy for that.
But this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries' cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy.
I forgot. Bring on the imperialistic condiments.
[Sookie is trying to get Lorelai to take some time off.]
Want to know the last time I saw staff and maids looking this scared of their boss? Your mother's house.
Ow...knife in the gut!
[after finding out that Lindsay read the letter Rory wrote to Dean] Okay, I have got to know what was in that letter.
I...I told him that that night was special and that I wasn't sorry it happened...but he's married, and he has to figure out his life, so I said that I was going to make it easier for him...and take myself out of the mix.
That was a very good letter.
I can't believe she found it.
[Approaching with food] Hot plates.
See? He called me "Hot Plates." He so likes me.
Is this like a Mafia thing?
Excuse me?
The whole coming in, special table, reserved sign. Are you gonna have to whack someone before the soup course?
No, I've filled my whacking quota for the week. [cringes] Dirty?
[wicked grin] Extremely.
Thought so.
I was just trying to remember the first time we met. It must have been at Luke's, right?
It was at Luke's, it was at lunch, it was a very busy day. The place was packed. And this person...
Oh, is it me? Is it me?
This person comes tearing into the place, in a caffeine frenzy...
Ooh, it's me!
I'm with a customer, she interrupts me, wild-eyed, begging for coffee. So I tell her to wait her turn. Then she starts following me around, talking a mile a minute, saying God knows what. Finally I turn to her, and tell her she's being annoying. Sit down, shut up, and I'll get to her when I get to her.
You know, I bet she took that very well, 'cause she sounds just delightful...
She asked me my birthday. I wouldn't tell her, she wouldn't stop talking, finally I gave in. I told her my birthday. She went and got the newspaper, opened it up to the horoscopes page, wrote something down, tore it out, handed it to me. So I was looking at this piece of paper in my hand, and under Scorpio, she had written: 'You will meet an annoying woman. Give her coffee, and she'll go away.' So I gave her coffee.
But she didn't go away!
She told me to hold onto that horoscope, put it in my wallet, and one day it would bring me luck.
[Luke takes his wallet out and shows Lorelai the horoscope.]
Boy, I will say anything for a cup of coffee! [long pause] I can't believe you kept this. You kept this in your wallet? You kept this in your wallet...
Eight years.
[touched] Eight years...
Heart attack? Umm.. it wasn't during... umm... was it?
No Rory! This great man was not brought down by my vagina.
[Lorelai quickly pulls out her cell phone and hits speed dial. She sighs impatiently while it rings.]
Hello?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.
[Cut to Rory's dorm room.]
For what?
Rory.
[Hearing her grandmother's voice, she turns in shock. Emily is standing in the open doorway]
Grandma.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[walks toward Rory looking around] What is going on here?
I have to hang up now.
Have I mentioned I'm sorry?
You cannot gather here.
Do you like my hair like this?
Yes....and you cannot gather here.
Wow, sleeping with you is getting me nothing.
[Knock on door, Rory crosses room as Paris mutters to herself while polishing part of the ancient printing press]
Ben Franklin was out of his mind.
[Emily, Rory, and Lorelai are in the poolhouse - Richard's home while he and Emily's are separated]
Oh, my God. Will you look at this? [Shocked, she pulls out a vest dressed in colorful sequins]
Bright.
[dryly] And tasteful.
It's a vest.
Grandpa has lots of vests.
It's got glitter. It's a glitter vest.
So?
So? Where would your father wear a vest like this? Certainly nowhere he ever would've taken me.
Grandma, it's just a vest.
Yeah, Mom. There's tons of places he would wear that.
Name one.
Okay, I'm at a loss.
This is insane.
Mom, this is the place where unwanted things came to repose. Maybe it's a vest of his from the old days.
Our days never included Richard dressing up like that gay fellow whose tiger tried to eat him. I have definitely, positively never seen this vest. This is a party vest.
Okay, just put it back, Mom, and let's go.
[holds out the festive garment] You put it back.
You know, we've moved a lot of stuff around here tonight. We've got to cover our tracks.
Where did you find it?
Squished in the middle, as if he was hiding it from me.
[mutters as she returns the vest to the closet] Can you blame him? It's hideous.
How dare he have a vest like that.
It's a panic room.
Like Jodie Foster?
I have no idea.
I bought a panic room.
Like Jodie Foster?
What does Jodie Foster have to do with anything?
I have never seen Grandma so singularly obsessed about a piece of clothing.
Not since I wore my "Gas, Grass, Or Ass — No One Rides For Free" T-shirt to the Junior League spring tea.
Sookie, first thing we agreed on opening the inn?
What?
Keep Kirk away from the business?!!!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilmore Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
