[watching Fry moon her] You call that a pressed ham? Walt, hit the retaliate button!
[Walt searches for the button]
Press any button! They all retaliate!
S3Future Stock
TGThat Guy
Everyone's fired and we're out of business! [the Planet Express crew protest] I'm going to sell Planet Express to Mom, so she can gut the company and eliminate us as competitors!
Don't let the door hit you on the way out, 'cause I don't want ass prints on my new door!
[last lines]
Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor.
[eats the old rotten sandwich in his hand]
Oh, I'm ruined! [crying] Why?
Look, so we're not millionaires. At least we all still get to work together.
[muttering] Shut your fat mouth!
See you guys Monday!
S3The 30% Iron Chef
Yes, it's a perfect scale model of the universe's largest bottle. I put a tiny spaceship inside to keep it from being boring. [Zoidberg excitedly tries to reach the bottle] Get--! [furiously snatches the bottle away] For the last time, Zoidberg, look with your eyes, not with your claws!
Brace yourselves. Bender is making us brunch.
[Everyone gasps.]
Oh, boy!
Oh, God! My tract! [clutches his stomach]
[Dr. Zoidberg has broken the professor's ship-in-a-bottle.]
Oh no! The professor will hit me! But if Zoidberg fixes it... then perhaps gifts!
I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh... also, comes with double prize money.
You're right, Ricardo; a ship in a bottle! What's that? Hang on, I'll look. [noticing that Dr. Zoidberg broke the ship in a bottle earlier]
KKoji
Ironu... Cookuru!
So, Elzar, what will you be cooking for Morbo to devour with his mighty jaws?
EElzar
Morbo, I'm gonna whip you up a nice, unnameable horror from beyond, with mango chutney.
Pathetic humans, prepare to write down the recipe!
HSHelmut Spargle
[after tasting Bender's first meal] It is... acceptable.
Yahoo! Another thing I'm great at. Wait, why'd you stopped eating, master?
HSHelmut Spargle
Because, my stomach is about to explode.
If it's chicken, chicken a la king. If it's fish, fish a la king. If it's turkey, fish a la king.
Man, I don't wanna hurt Bender's feelings but this food actually tastes better as vomit!
It's unbearable! How much do you think it would cost to have my tongue removed?
Welcome back. Our next guest has been teaching the world to cook for over 20 years. But apparently my, uh, wife hasn't been listening. I will destroy her!!!
HSHelmut Spargle
You don't understand. Without the distraction of taste, your mind is free to touch the Zen of pure flavor. You could become the greatest chef ever.
I could?
HSHelmut Spargle
Yes. Just as Beethoven was a great composer because he was deaf.
Or like how Rembrandt was blind and had wooden hands.
KKoji
[after Dr. Zoidberg bent his sword to his body, breaking it; screams] That sword cost $5000!
Fry did it! [flees the scene]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.