Bender, we're trying our best.
Your best is an idiot!
S3A Pharaoh to Remember
Danny Boy?! You're at my funeral, singing about some stiff named Danny Boy? You really are a massive bonehead!
I'm expressing my sorrow!
Get lost! I'd say don't quit your day job, but you're awful at that too!
You've convinced me life is worth living... by showing me how bad my funeral will suck!
[Bender storms out and the bouquet lands in Farnsworth's lap]
I know whose funeral we'll be attending next!
Oh, stop.
HPHigh Priest
People of Osiris 4, please welcome a man who started as a slave but worked his way up to Lord of All Creation! Our new Pharaoh, Bender!
Citizens of Me! The cruelty of the old Pharaoh is a thing of the past. Let a whole new wave of cruelty wash over this lazy land.
Impressive. Who's building it?
OOsiran
You.
Say again?
OOsiran
You are now slaves of the great Pharaoh Hermenthotip. Guards!
[The guards grab the crew]
Call it a hunch but I've got a bad feeling about this.
You know what else sucks about being a slave? The hours.
HPHigh Priest
Great Wall of Prophecy, reveal to us God's will that we may blindly obey.
PPriests
[chanting] Free us from thought and responsibility.
HPHigh Priest
We shall read things off you.
PPriests
[chanting] Then do them.
HPHigh Priest
Your words guide us.
PPriests
[chanting] We're dumb.
You know what the worst thing about being a slave is? They make you work all day but they don't pay you or let you go.
That's the only thing about being a slave.
Stop it, stop it! It's not right! You've crossed the line!
Incredible. This place is just like the Ancient Egypt of my day.
OSOsiran Slavemaster
That is no coincidence. For our people visited your Egypt thousands of years ago.
I knew it! Insane theories, one; regular theories, a billion.
OSOsiran Slavemaster
We learned many things from the mighty Egyptians, such as pyramid building, space travel, and how to prepare our dead so as to scare Abbott and Costello.
Also, Wolfman.
[last lines]
Step course for Earth! [evil laugh]
That's not Earth.
Oh.
S3Anthology of Interest II
Being a robot's great, but we don't have emotions and sometimes that makes me very sad. [sniffs]
Hey, my antenna's gone! [looks down] Nah, it just moved. I'm not getting good reception on it, though. Maybe if I wiggle it around a little...
Bender, no! You'll make God cry!
Whoa, you look better than you used to for some reason.
You're not so bad yourself, big boy. [kisses Bender]
Hey that felt great! [kisses the Professor] Nah, it's not working anymore.
Speak for yourself.
When did he die?
About twelve hours ago, when the party started.
But he just said "Woo!"
No, that was just air escaping from the folds of his fat. [pushes against Bender's fat]
Woo!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.