After all this time, somebody else with one eye... who ISN'T a clumsy carpenter or a kid with a BB gun.
S2A Bicyclops Built For Two
This sacred mosaic depicts our goddess of beauty.
Hmm. You got any sacred artwork of her from the back?
By the way, your pal Fry fell in the dungeon. Take him a taco so he doesn't die and stink up the place.
Come on, Al. Can't you let the little guy out?
Geez, Leela! Twice in one day? I'm not Superman!
ASAlcazar's friends
WOOOOO!
Leela, you have to get me out of here. It's horrible! Eating scraps, letting my waste drop where I stand like an animal in the zoo.
Animals go on the corner.
The corner! Why didn't I think of that?
[singing] I like stealing, I like taking things.
Hey, where'd you get this couch and that TV set and all this stuff?
They were giving it away on the street corner. Just like you, Leela!
ASAlcazar's friends
WOOOOO!
Too bad they weren't giving away the three things you actually need: Mouthwash, a back wax and stain-proof underwear.
ASAlcazar's friends
WOOOOO!
Well, this is the real me. But I can explain: We all have needs. Mine was to make it with five weirdos and have them scrub my five castles. I gave you all what you wanted and of course I made a few bucks letting Pig watch through the two-way mirror. Can any of you say you wouldn't have done the exact same thing in my position?
He's a saint!
Alright, Alcazar, I just have one last question for you.
What's that?
If you can change form, why didn't you change it in the one place that counts?
EEveryone
WOOOOO!
S2A Clone of My Own
Good news, everyone! The university is bringing me up on disciplinary charges. Wait…that's not good news at all!
Whatever you did, Professor, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.
Yes, but they won't listen. Everyone's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain but when you put it in the body of a great white shark, ooh, suddenly you've gone too far.
What? You've never seen a genius' wiener before?
[Others mumble negatively]
Well, once in the park...
PFProf. Farnsworth
Nothing is impossible! Not if you can imagine it. That's what being a scientist is all about!
No, that's what being a magical elf is all about!
Why do I have to be the hump?
Because you're too ugly to be a wart.
PFProf. Farnsworth
[Is showing Cubert some of his inventions] And this is my Universal Translator. Unfortunately, so far it only translates into an incomprehensible dead language.
[into the translator's microphone] Hello.
TMTranslator Machine
Bonjour!
PFProf. Farnsworth
Crazy gibberish!
[being escorted away by a Sunset Squad robot] Goodbye, cruel world! Goodbye, cruel lamp! Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. [the robot groans] Cruel though they may be, I-- [the rather fed-up robot abruptly picks up Farnsworth and carries him away.]
Come on, Leela! Step your big boot down on the gas pedal.
[She does. Cut to Near-Death Star Landing Pad, the ship takes off and the landing gear goes up. The guest drop off door opens and three guardbots fly out. Guardbot #1 shoots at the ship and two laser bolts hit the engine, causing it to shut down. The ship falls onto the landing pad and the guardbots' hover-ships buzz around it. Cut to Ships Cockpit, an alarm beeps and a red lights flashes]
They've blown out one of our engines!
[fast] Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it! Fix it, fix it, fix it!
Only the Professor knows how to fix it. We have to wake him up.
[She grabs Farnsworth's night shirt and shakes him around. Fry blasts him with an air horn and Bender empties a chest cabinet full of water over him]
Try shocking him!
Your social security cheque is late! Stuff costs more than it used to! Young people use curse words!
Damn it, we'll have to fix the engine ourself.
We can't, you bastard! No one knows how it works. It's impossible!
[Cubert comes around and puts his hand in the air]
Nothing is impossible. I understand how the engines work now. It came to me in a dream. [He lifts an access hatch and starts fiddling with some wires under the floor] The engines don't move the ship at all. The ship stays where it is, and the engines move the universe around it.
That's a complete load!
Nothing's a complete load! Not if you can imagine it. That's what being a scientist is all about. Right, Professor? [Farnsworth mumbles. Cubert closes the access panel] Let's ride!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Futurama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.