Monica Geller quotes from Friends

Phoebe

And... moment's over! [Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off] So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... [She's flipping cards, skipping half of them] Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I [Monica is miming CUT] Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... [Yells at Monica]MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS [she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands] OR THIS [She taps her watch] OR THIS [she mimes CUT] OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! [Pause] You know what? You're done.

Monica

What?

Phoebe

YOU'RE FIRED! [Pause and she raises her glass] Cheers!

Monica

Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.

Phoebe

You won awards?

Monica

Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.

Monica

[to Phoebe] OK, it's 2100 hours. Time for your toast.

Mike

Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?

Monica

You had a bathroom break at 2030; pee on your own time, Mike... Now, in regard to the toast - OK, you wanna keep them short; nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. OK, you just get in, do your thing and get out.

Mike

Is that what you say to Chandler?

Chandler

Will we love it so much with her next door? And she's gonna be louder out here too. Just the crickets and [imitates Janice's voice] "Oh... My... God"!

Monica

If we don't get this house, she's still going to show up wherever we go! At least if she's here, it eliminates the element of surprise. Never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body!

Rachel

[crying, barely understandable] I don't know what I'm going to do without you!

Monica

[crying, barely understandable] You're the greatest friend I ever had.

Rachel

[crying, barely understandable] I'm gonna miss seeing you everyday!

Monica

[crying] What?

Rachel

[crying, barely understandable] I...I...I... I'm gonna miss seeing you everyday!

Monica

[crying, barely understandable] That is so sweet! [they hug]

Chandler

What do we do?

Monica

What do you mean "what do we do"?

Chandler

Twins! Twins!

Monica

Chandler, you're panicking.

Chandler

Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?

Monica

What if the person who adopts the other one is horrible?

Chandler

What if it's not? What if it's a king?

Monica

[sarcastically] Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.

Chandler

Next time, can I say breathe?

Monica

No! The last time you did, you said it like Dracula and it scared her!

Monica

We decided to name the baby girl, Erica.

Hey, that's just like my name!

Monica

Son of a gun, it is.

Joey

What kinds are they?

Monica

This is a boy and that's a girl.

Chandler

Yeah, her name's Erica.

Joey

Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica.

Chandler

Yeah, it's a shame you two never spent more time together.

Rachel

Do you guys have to go to the new house right away or do you have some time?

Monica

We've got some time.

Rachel

Okay, should we get some coffee?

Chandler

Sure. Where?