[about Martin] You're a grown man. You're still scared of him.
Well, you're a grown man. You're still scared of him, too.
Yeah, well, at least I have a girlfriend.
Shut up.
S9 E11Bully for Martin
S9 E12Mother Load (1)
[Frasier has successfully argued a motion forcing Cam Winston to park his Hummer in the sub-basement, citing pollution concerns.]
CWCam Winston
Listen, Crane, you may have bamboozled the condo board, but we both know you just want more room to swing your fat ass into that BMW!
CCam
You do your share of polluting with that substitute for masculinity you're driving.
If mine's a substitute for masculinity, then what is yours?
CCam
Bigger!
This land is rich with snow- covered mountains, sun-kissed beaches, wild untamed rivers and a, a warm loving people ready to embrace you. Immerse yourself in the spectacle and the grandeur that are these United States, this America! (a large American flag drapes over his window)
How did you do that?
[enraged] Cam Winston!
S9 E13Mother Load (2)
[Frasier refuses to let Simon bring a woman into his apartment]
SSimon
[to Frasier] Well, you're just a big contraceptive, aren't you?
[Frasier has been kept awake for several nights because of Cam Winston draping a giant American flag over his window]
Still awake, Doctor Crane?
Yes. It's almost dawn's early light... and our flag is still there.
S9 E15The Proposal
[Frasier has just found out his mother was pregnant with him at her wedding.]
You knew?
Well, do you remember that time I had the chickenpox? Mom told me to cheer me up.
Excuse me, Mr. Puck?
WPWolfgang Puck
[annoyed] Yes, Dr. Crane?
It's just that, I couldn't help noticing that the crab cakes are getting a bit... brown.
WPWolfgang Puck
They're getting "beautifully crunchy."
I see. Because when I said, "brown," I actually meant more like "black," like "burned."
WPWolfgang Puck
They're Cajun!
Daphne Moon, will you, and your beautiful toes and your exquisite ankles and your precious knees, elbows and arms and fingers, shoulders... [holds up the ring] Will you marry me?
Oh, Niles! Of course, I will.
S9 E16Wheels of Fortune
Frasier refuses to be taken in by Blaine's apparent disability
Dr. Crane, the man is in a wheelchair.
Which means that somewhere, someone is missing a wheelchair!
BBlaine
I've started a ministry to save souls the way the Lord saved mine.
What genius(!) The Lord! A credible partner who doesn't take a cut.
BBlaine
Talk about a butt load of poetic justice.
Yes, I believe that is the basic unit of poetic justice.
S9 E17Three Blind Dates
Niles is trying to orchestrate a chance meeting between Frasier and Lisa in the bookshop, by sending his brother on errands
Good Heavens, Niles, what am I? Your lackey?
No, no, no. I'm just engrossed in this "Heroes of Nas-Car."
After an argument with a shop assistant, Frasier leaves indignantly, dragged by Niles
You know, by the way: you have an alphabetical misfile, but I'm not telling you where!
S9 E18War of the Words
JJohn
Well, cameras never lie and cheaters never prosper.
And you never shut up!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.