Frasier is just about to part company with Ann
AAnn
Well, here we are. The awkward part.
Oh, it's not awkward at all. I’d be delighted to pay for your cab. Here we are. (hands over money and runs)
S11 E5The Placeholder
S11 E7Maris Returns
Welcome. Whether our journey together lasts for years or just one day, I can’t tell you how excited I am to take this first step with you.
[He says this first to the temp receptionist, then to four successive patients who all disappear within minutes]
[Niles is having a panic attack in the kitchen during the baby shower]
Calm down, Niles.
I can’t! I’m telling her another lie every time I open my mouth!
Oh, get a grip on yourself, man! It’s called marriage!
S11 E8Murder Most Maris
Niles has had a nervous breakdown and stripped naked in Café Nervosa
WWaiter
I’m calling the cops!
The hell you are! This man’s tips alone have probably paid for all the pot you’ll ever smoke!
It's as if you'd forgotten that not three days ago I was... punched in the face...by a man now dead.
He says this, changing time intervals to suit the moment, throughout the episode. Each time, everyone falls reverently silent.
Thank you!
S11 E9Guns N' Neuroses
I was having the most distressing dream; I was climbing up a volcano, that was spewing ice instead of lava.
An ice volcano. I wonder what that could mean.
Frasier checks his messages
VOVoice on the answering machine
Hello, it's Lilith.
FMFrasier, Martin and Daphne
[with sudden realization] Oh, well.
Shouldn’t you get the door?
You’re closer.
I don’t live here.
Doesn’t matter. You’re family.
So’s Daph…
[interrupts] Oh no, you don’t!
[from outside] Maybe if you slid me a key, I could let myself in.
S11 E10Seabea Jeebies
Roz arrives at the awards ceremony with her insufferably smug sister
DDenise
Roz, are you sure this dress didn't fit you? Because I'm just swimming in it.
(to a waiter) Two Bloody Marys, please. And there's a 20 in it for you if one of them's poisoned. I don't even care which one.
S11 E11High Holidays
[Frasier has just seen Frederick’s goth girlfriend, and is reeling from the shock]
Well, at least he’s not dating outside the faith.
[Niles has just announced his rebellious plans to Frasier]
What?!
I’ve waited for this all my life, Frasier. One act of utter, devil-may-care, crotch-grabbing brazenness! And of course, I’ll have a nurse on speed-dial in case things get too hairy.
S11 E12Frasier-Lite
A caller on Frasier’s radio show has suddenly become involved in a domestic argument
MDMorrie’s daughter
I’m running away from home!
MMorrie
Oh, hang up the phone, Britney! You’re not going anywhere!
[calmly] And neither is this conversation. [cuts them off]
Frasier steps onto the scales at the weigh-in on television
PPresenter
Ouch! 1lb heavier, Fras’!
That can’t be! I’ve added a salad to every meal!
S11 E13The Ann Who Came to Dinner
I just walked in on your insurance lady taking a sponge bath!
Dear God! Which sponge?
A policeman uncovers a boudoir portrait of Niles
PPoliceman
What the hell is that?
(embarrassed) It's Pan, the satyr. A minor god of mischief, debauchery, and fornication.
(smiling) That’s what our son would look like if I were a goat.
S11 E14Freudian Sleep
Niles arrives at Frasier’s place. He has had a very bad day
I need a sherry.
Brace yourself!
[sees the empty bottle] You always think it’s going to happen to someone else.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.