TV show quotes
Martin takes charge
[to Daphne] You’re gonna lose your looks? Happens to everyone. [to Frasier] You’re afraid you’re gonna end up alone? You’ll still have your family. [to Niles] You’re afraid you’re gonna be a bad father? Join the club! [to all three] Now just clam up and go to bed!
If truth be told, it's been a while since I...romped with abandon through the perfumed gardens of Eros.
Next time you say something like that, cover my ears.
Do you have any idea what it's like to play the same character for twenty years?!
[Niles is appalled when he learns the reason for his father’s heart attack.]
(to Frasier) Look at you! You just stand there with a smile on your face.
That’s make-up, you idiot!
Frasier and Niles discuss the possibility of a future without Martin
Now, I can’t imagine life without him.
It would be very hard to walk into this apartment and see that chair…and know that Dad wasn’t here anymore.
Oh, I’d get rid of that chair immediately.
Niles does not want to get involved in undoing Frasier’s criminal activity
Fine, I’ll do it myself! Here, hold this for me. (hands Niles the stolen item)
What for?
[grabs it back] Now your prints are on it too, you have to help me!
Fiend!
Frasier claims that Niles is afraid of spiders…then also that he is afraid of heights…then also of crowds
You are looking at that rarest of beasts: the arachno-acro-agoraphobe!
[Daphne’s doula insists on a drug-free childbirth, and Roz, as a mother, can hardly believe her ears.]
A natural childbirth needn’t be painful.
It needn’t be, but it be!
[Daphne changes her mind about the natural birth after seeing a video of one.]
I’m having my baby the way God intended: in a hospital, numb from the waist down!
Niles has discovered fast food. Frasier remains unconvinced
I guess he's got the fast food bug.
And which one would that be? E. coli?
Frasier explains his strategy for winning Charlotte over
I am merely going present myself as the anti-Frank.
Ah, so you’re going to be not rugged and not handsome. Interesting.
No…
You could also be not passionate and not committed.
Very funny.
Maybe she’d like you if you were not interesting and not informed…
Niles!
[Charlotte has just told Frasier that she no longer remembers what she and Frank were fighting about.]
[to Niles] You know what that means, don’t you? They had a long night of acrobatic make-up sex.
I’ve just thought of another way you could be the anti-Frank.
I've always been a sucker for that romantic movie-ending goodbye. A fog-shrouded train platform, a passionate kiss.
With a romantic dip.
Yes, well, maybe I am, but there are damn few of us left.
(leans back) Dip. Dip.
I had a great time with you today. With somebody else, it would’ve been a disaster.
With somebody else, I would’ve been in Portland.
Roz is dropping by with someone she wanted me to meet.
Ooh, a lady friend?
[sarcastic] No, we’re going to form a jazz trio, Niles.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
