Lilith Sternin quotes from Frasier

Lilith

It's ironic, isn't it? No sooner do I get the closet of my dreams than my husband comes out of it.

Frasier

Well, Seattle, we have a celebrity of sorts on the line. This is my ex-wife, Lilith.

Lilith

What do you mean by "celebrity"?

Frasier

[darkly] Oh, they know you!

Frasier

Do you wanna bag dinner?

Lilith

There's a bed and an honor bar, what more do we need?

Frasier

Come to me, my white-hot flame!

Lilith

I was insane to divorce you!

Frasier

You're in my every waking thought!

Lilith

You're the only man I've ever loved!

Frasier

So are you!

Lilith

Brian is a seismologist at MIT.

Frasier

Oh, well, that's perfect: Brian being a seismologist, and you having so many faults.

Martin

Nice neighborhood. I noticed a whole bunch of kids Freddie's age playing in the street.

Lilith

Yes, he's spent many happy hours at his window observing their play patterns.

Lilith

Excuse me. I'm looking for Frasier Crane. They told me he'd be here.

Roz

Lilith, it's me. Roz Doyle.

Lilith

Oh, yes, it's Frasier's fun-loving assistant...(notices she is pregnant) who's apparently had too much fun... loving.

Lilith

My God! What did we do? What did we do?

Niles

Well, first you put your...

Lilith

I know what we did! What do we do now?!

Niles

Let's just stay calm. These things happen, they happen every day... (losing it) every day in Arkansas! Frasier is going to kill us! Oh, why did you have to look so damned bewitching all evening?

Lilith

Why did you have to drive me home and walk me to my door?

Niles

Oh, there's no point pointing fingers. We both know why this happened; last night was simply two wounded people overcome with loneliness, confusion and...

Lilith

Tequila shooters.

Niles

(moaning) Mmm-hmm.

Niles

(whispering) Who's that?!

Lilith

Don't panic, no one knows we're here.

Niles

I told Frasier I was driving you home.

Lilith

(panicked, whispering) Why did you do a stupid thing like that?!

Niles

Well, it wasn't stupid at the time! How did I know the minute we got in this room you'd be on me like a hawk on a titmouse!

Niles

Well, I learned if you kiss her too fast you get an ice cream headache.

Lilith

You also learned that I have twice your upper body strength, so shut your pie hole!

Frasier

Was that so hard?

My ex-wife used to say she could tell when I was nervous because I'd turn off white.

Lilith

I can empathize. After a long night, I once had to color my under-eye circles with Liquid Paper.

Frasier

Would we sleep together?

Lilith

I was thinking we could freeze your sperm.

Frasier

Is that a "yes" or "no"?

Niles

Shouldn’t you get the door?

Martin

You’re closer.

Niles

I don’t live here.

Martin

Doesn’t matter. You’re family.

Niles

So’s Daph…

Daphne

[interrupts] Oh no, you don’t!

Lilith

[from outside] Maybe if you slid me a key, I could let myself in.