TV show quotes
Niles has met a woman who lives in Frasier's building, and things are going well
I'm seeing her again tonight, so you'll understand if I'm a little bit drained tomorrow during our squash game. My lovemaking can get slightly athletic.
Which is more than can be said for your squash game.
Martin wants to take Frasier to see Chimps on Ice for his birthday; Frasier wants to stay in and watch Così fan tutte
Duke said, in the finale the whole cast skates to the top of this ramp, and then Splat! Right into a tank of whipped cream. Bet they don't do that at your opera.
No, and Mozart's still kicking himself.
Niles offers to take Martin out to a new fusion restaurant. As they leave, Frasier picks up the phone
Can't wait. Where are we going, anyway?
Well... (closes the door)
Hello, I'd like to order a large pizza, please. What toppings? Just a second. (Martin returns) Dad, what d'you want on your pizza?
Since I fired you, I haven't been able to eat or sleep.
Kenny, it's only been an hour and a half.
I am going to get another job. The people of this city need me. I'm a beloved Seattle institution.
(to Niles) A couple more days like this, he's gonna be in a beloved Seattle institution.
Frasier, it's all in how you look at things. Look at my life...
[crying] No career, no relationship, no hope!
You can say the same thing about me.
I was talking about you!
[Daphne is relieved when Martin and Niles arrive, as Frasier is depressed after his disastrous job interview]
He mumbled something about it being worse than the Dresden première of Schumann's Second Symphony.
(panics) And you left him alone?!
[Frasier announces his alternative plans for the evening, after deciding not to attend the reunion]
Tonight, I'll be coming back home and spending the evening with Daphne, doing some light housework and listening to my new book on tape: “Depression, Anxiety and Death” as read by the author himself, Stanislav Monk.
Now who's cursed?!
[Niles sees Roz and Martin having coffee together.]
I'm not interrupting anything personal, am I?
[sarcastically] Yeah, Niles, we just eloped. I'm your new mom.
Well, I'll be a son of a bitch.
[Daphne announces that maybe it is time she moved on, since Martin may not need her help any more]
I'm not like a psychiatrist, who works with someone for years and years and it doesn't matter if they ever get better.
Niles, there is another way.
You don't mean...
Yes. I know it's a calculated risk. It is a little uncertain.
You can't be serious. It's unthinkable.
Niles, what other choice do we have?
But the indignity, it reeks of desperation.
Now, now, before you do anything desperate, at least go stand in the cancellation line.
What did he think we were talking about?
[Niles is trying to learn how to smoke, before Stephen Kendall joins him for a cigarette at the intermission]
I haven't held a cigarette since I played Duke Mantee in our junior high production of The Petrified Forest.
Yes, I remember watching you from the petrified audience.
[Frasier decides to attempt a reconciliation with Marie]
Sometimes the best apology is the truth.
You mean you're going to tell her you thought she was prostituting herself for therapy but now you've decided that's OK?
(pause) Well, not that truth. Some other truth!
Niles, Marie is a stunning woman with a body to die for, and you think all I'm interested in is her mind? How shallow do you think I am?
(looking at a gift that came nestled in shredded paper) Look at this mess. Ah, it's too bad it's not bubble wrap. Ha! You don't know what funny is until you've seen Eddie go after a sheet of that stuff. Poppity-pop-pop-pop! He gets all scared and runs away, and then he screws up his courage and comes back again, and - poppity-pop-pop! - he runs away again. Yeah, I watched him for an hour one time. You know, it's amazing how entertained he can be by somethin' so simple... Poppity-pop-pop-pop! (laughs)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
