[Roz and Frasier are acting in a live performance of a radio drama.]
"There's someone outside that window!"
"Why, yes, Ms. Thorndyke, it appears to be"...[cues organ music, but calliope music plays instead]... the ice cream truck!
S4 E18Ham Radio
S4 E19Three Dates and a Breakup
Her lips said "No," but her eyes said "Read my lips."
Frasier is very proud after being asked out by two women; Niles is bitter because no one will look twice at him
My God, I've never had a night like this in my entire life! I'm a babe magnet, I'm catnip!
I think I feel a furball coming up.
S4 E20Daphne Hates Sherry
[about Sherry] She says I'm too rigid.
Nonsense!
And that I'm too picky.
Poppycock!
And that I'd be much happier if I just went out and had sex with someone...
Just to play devil's advocate...
Roz and Bulldog are fighting in the studio, and Frasier is in no state to put up with them
As we speak, hordes of viral Visigoths are hurling themselves over the battlements of my immune system, laying waste to my…Oh, dear God, you see how weak I am? I can't even finish a simple Visigoth metaphor.
S4 E21Are You Being Served?
Frasier disapproves of modern society's tendency to hug all the time
Well, I think hugging is very healthy. I read somewhere that if you have physical contact on a regular basis, it can actually extend your life.
Well, in that case you should outlive Styrofoam!
Niles has had a panic attack and rushed into the bathroom. After a sound resembling a gunshot, he emerges covered head to foot in shaving foam
Dr. Crane! Are you all right?
(shaken) I'm fine. Just a little hot…and foamy…
You know what must've happened? My Hot & Foamy must have exploded!
He was a detective, you know(!)
S4 E22Ask Me No Questions
Niles is keeping Frasier waiting for their squash game, by having a doting phone conversation with Maris. Frasier takes action
Oh, now, Maris. (phone beeps) Wait, hold on a second, it’s my other line. (switches lines) Hello?
(using his landline) Get the hell off the phone!
Pressing Frasier for an answer to his question, Niles poses a hypothetical situation for him, in which his brother is God
Let's say you are the supreme ruler of Heaven and Earth. What would you do?
(glances at Eddie) Well, for starters I'd issue a recall on some of my lesser species!
S4 E23Odd Man Out
I was just about to step right out of this dress and embarrass poor Dr. Crane to death.
Well, we all have to die of something.
I just can't picture Maris in Dad's '82 Impala.
Neither could she, at first. I'll never forget the look of wonder on her face at touching vinyl for the first time. She said it made her feel cheap and dirty, and she liked it. I was her first bad boy.
S5 E1Frasier's Imaginary Friend
Neither Niles nor Martin believe Frasier's story that he is dating a supermodel
Doesn't he realize how outlandish it all sounds?
Even a fake supermodel would have dumped him by now!
Frasier tries desperately to convince his family
I am not crazy! I am dating a supermodel zoologist, whom I stole away from a professional football player, and she is off to the Galápagos Islands to artificially inseminate iguanas! Now is that so hard to believe?!
S5 E2The Gift Horse
Daphne fills Niles in with Sherry's meat-based plans for the food at Martin's party
I assume these colorful balloons are for the between-course angioplasty(!)
Frasier comes home to find speaker towers placed around his living room
Dear God...It's Stonehenge.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.