Wilt quotes from Foster&#039;s Home for Imaginary Friends

TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES! TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES!

Eduardo, STOP! Wilt, you wanna give me your t-shirt! We can't let Mr. Herriman see it!

Wilt

Sheesh, all you had to do was ask.

Coco, we need that hat!

Coco!

We just wanna borrow it!

Coco!

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Wilt

Well, no worries now, my friend. You’ll be safe where we’re going.

BFBone Friend

Where’s that? [cuts to Foster’s]

Wilt

Home.

[Bloo is humming to himself until he hears a bunch of friends, including Ringo Rango, Phineas B. Vurm, and Fluffer Nutter, graduate and praise Wilt]

Wilt

Aw, it was nothing. I’m sure anyone of you would’ve done the same thing if you were in my position.

What, did Wilt get part of the flagpole in this year's Fourth of July pageant again? [snickers]

PBPhineas B. Vurm

Actually, Wilt rescued another abandoned friend from certain doom.

Wilt

Awww!

PTPokey Toehair

That's the fourth one this week!

Fluffer Nutter

It's a new record!

Wilt

Come on, guys.

Hold the phone, "Record"?! What do you mean, "Record"?!? So what, it's like some sort of contest?

Wilt

Oh no, it's not a contest at all. It's more like a service to all imaginary friends, great and small, so that they might have a chance at a happy and healthy life with a loving owner of their own. So, we, as the friends of Foster's, must do our duty and bring in as many of those needy and abandoned friends as we possibly can!

A contest.

Wilt

Uh, no.

So, uh, what’s in for ya, Wilt ol’ buddy? A new car? A trip to some far away and exotic land?! Cash Moneys?!?

Wilt

No, nothing like that. It’s our duty, as-!

PBPhineas B. Vurm

Well, there is "The Wall".

Wilt

Yeah, well, I guess there is that.

Wall? What wall?

Wilt

Well, Madam Foster likes to put a photo up on "The Wall" each month of whoever best exemplifies the duties of a friend who-

[interrupting] Yeah, Yeah, where’s this so-called "Wall"?

Wilt

[pointing] Behind you.

[Bloo and a few other Friends see "The Wall", a wall which is accompanied by a photo called "Friend of the month" and various portraits of Wilt helping other Imaginary Friends in need]

[angered] Oh, I get it. You just want all the glory for yourself! [imitates Wilt] "Oh, it’s not a contest. It’s our duty as friends of Foster's to—" Blah, Blah, Blahbity, Blah, Blah, Malarkey! Well, let me tell you, Mr. Sporty Socks, your wall of fame in the hall of frames is about to crumble, because two can play it this game.

Wilt

But, Bloo—

[ignoring Wilt’s confession as he leaves Foster’s] Just you wait and see. I’m gonna bring home the biggest and bestest friend this joint has ever seen!

Wilt

That would be fantastic, Bloo, but this isn’t a— [Bloo slams the doors, leaving Wilt and the other Friends dumbfounded] ...Contest.

[to himself] Hump! I’ll show him who’s the friend of the month. Just as soon as I figure out where the heck am I going to find a friend in need.

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Wilt

What burrito, Ed?

Oh, um… I, uh, nightmare about a burrito?

Coco?

Si, again. Sorry.

Speaking of burritos, I'm starving. Let's go have breakfast. I need lots of energy to finish constructing that orphernometer before Mac shows up.

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MBMac & Bloo

BEHIND YOU!

[turns around] Wilt. So nice of you to come and visit. You look well. How's everything outside?

Wilt

What are you doing, Bloo? You're up to something and it's not cool, okay?

Don't be silly.

Wilt

Then why are all the friends hiding in the house? I know you don't want to lose your buddies, but I'm sorry to say it, you're being really selfish, okay?

Want a cupcake?

Wilt

Don't change the subject, please?

I'm not. I'm unselfishly offering you one of my cupcakes.

Wilt

You know, I'm sorry, Bloo, but it's Adopt-a-Thought Saturday, and well a lot of our friends may finally have a chance to find new homes to call their own.

[sees Mac appearing and hiding behind his legs] I know. That's the problem. [shoves Wilt, making him fall] Timber! [he and Mac then tie him up to a chair, tape up his mouth, and put him in the closet] This hurts us more than it hurts you.

Yeah. Sorry, Wilt.

Wilt

[muffled] No, I'm sorry.

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[Mac and Bloo feel sick from playing outside in the mud on a rainy day]

Oh, pal, you feel a bit warm.

Yeah, you don't feel hot.

I don't feel so… [sniffs] hot either.

Come on, I'll take you home.

[in unison] Coco! Coco! Coco!

[in unison] Adios, Mac.

Wilt

[in unison] Bye, Mac. Feel better, man. Sorry. [Mac sneezes] Gesundheit.

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So what're we trying to watch?

Wilt

[with mouth full] A kweecha feature.

A kweecha feecha?

Wilt

Sorry. [swallows] A creature feature.

A creature feature?

Wilt

It's okay, Eduardo, don't worry.

Yeah, Ed, it's probably just some silly old movie about a silly old ghost and some silly old house on some silly old hill.

COCommentator on TV

The Curse of the Cannibal Ghost of the Haunted House on Horror Hill!

Wilt

Good call.

SProfessor Smith

What a perfect night for a drive.

[Meanwhile the Foster's bus pulls up at Mac's apartment]

Now, hurry on inside and get yourself to bed, okay?

[Back at Foster's… While trying to watch the other movie]

CMrs. Chambers

Wait, what's that up ahead?

SProfessor Smith

You mean the Petunia Patch?

CMrs. Chambers

No, not the Petunia Patch. That haunted-looking house on that horrible looking hill!

SProfessor Smith

Oh, why that's just the Haunted House on Horror Hill.

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I thought steam was supposed to unstuff me. I gotta get some air in here. [pulls at the chains on the window]

The rattling! The terrible rattling!

[Bloo bursts out of the bathroom, trying to get the chains off him, and Eduardo screams]

Wilt

It's the Cannibal Ghost!

[Wilt and Eduardo both scream, Wilt jumps in fright and gets his head stuck in the ceiling, Eduardo runs, and Coco comes down the hall still dressed like a ghost]

COCO! [Bloo screams] Coco! Coco! COCO!

Coco?

[Eduardo runs and screams, bursting through the walls. He bumps into a wall-like imaginary friend and gets sent flying back]

WFWall Friend

Try to watch where you're going, pal.

[Eduardo screams]

Wilt

Sorry. Really. Shan't happen because none of it can happen again. Won't happen because none of it seems to happen again. Go on back to bed. Don't you worry about a little thing. Every little thing is gonna be alright right now, there's definitely not a- [Eduardo grabs him and pulls him down] Cannibal Ghost.

[Wilt and Eduardo fall and they Bloo draped in Coco's sheet]

Coco? Coco? Coco?

Wilt

Coco? It's been you this whole time, hasn't it? Why, of all the rotten tricks to- [he removes the sheet, revealing Bloo underneath it] Homina, homina, homina, homina, homina, homina, homina, homina, homina, homina-

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Wilt

Who you gonna call?

Cococo.

Wilt

They've been out of business for years. If we wanna save our friends from this phantom menace, we're gonna have to do it ourselves. So, how did they stop the ghost in the movie?

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Wilt

Now, we need to feel quiet so the ghost won't know we're coming. So no feeling spooky and yelly at all, okay?

I don't feel yelly.

Wilt

Shh.

Coco.

[Eduardo spots Bloo coming up behind them and pokes Coco and Wilt]

Wilt

Quit it, Eduardo.

Oh...

[Eduardo pokes them again]

Wilt

What is it? You need to tell me THE GHOST IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

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Simply unbelievable! Stealing and the taking and bribing-the bribing! Oh, that about but the the bone off the spoon! Why, I should have-Hello, Wilt-and I might if I were earlier! But nothing doing. No manner, no how. Lousy casserole dish with onions on top! Downright nasty, I say. Hola, Eduardo. Haven't just had the pluck to pluck up my own chickens! That's what I call the sauce! Coco, Coco. And now I'm in a bing like a package on moving day! Afternoon, Mac, Bloo. All 'cause of her! Always the same! Massacring what's mine like a Mississippi chainsaw! My green aggie, my lunch pail, my prom date! But this… taking a lady's teammates! Snatching 'em up before the final bell right before the last game-- outrageous! The gall! The gumption! The nerve! That back-scratching, butter neck Jerkins!

EEveryone

Madame Foster!

What?! Oh my, was I talking out loud?

Sí. Very loud.

Sorry. I hope those were the other weekends right here. Oops. [laughs, giggles, chuckles, cackles, guffaws, snickers, titters, snorts, tee-hees, chortles, and sniggers] Seems my inner became an outie.

Wilt

Wow, Madame Foster. I've never seen you so bent out of shape.

I know. Usually, I'm sweet, quirky, and adorable at least. But, dag nabbit, I'm madder than a wet cat on washing day!

Wilt

Oh, that's mad.

She's skimming cream off the top, and they're drinking it up like a camel to sand. That Jerkins is a crafty one, literally, flaunting her hand-made doilies this way and that, taking my girls before the final beat. No-good doily-giving bribery!

Hold up, Madame Foster. Let me see if I got this. You and this Jerkins lady have had a vicious rivalry ever since you were kids when she stole your lunchbox, your boyfriend-

And my marbles.

Clearly. And now, she's stolen your bowling team before the final game of the tournament by bribing them with doilies.

What? Am I speaking French here elsewhere? She stole them, and now where am I? I'm done. That's it.

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FJFlo Jerkins

What is this, Foster?

My newest team, Jerkins.

FJFlo Jerkins

Looks like you dragged these right out of the gutter.

Nah, because I would have seen you there.

Wilt

Good thing.

That was good.

FJFlo Jerkins

Oh, yeah? Well, if you're offering up this rag-tag team to roll in the finals, y'all better bring it.

Oh, it's already brung, sister.

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Wilt

[washing Madame Foster's car in the rain] Well, you wanna have a clean car.

[honking] Less talks, more muscles!

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Wilt

That's it. Next person who asks me for something's getting a big, fat, n-

OOld Lady

Excuse me, tall molasses, mind helping a young lady across the street?

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You guys, too?

Coco.

Sí.

Wilt

Uh-huh.

Don't tell me. Bendy?

Coco.

'Sí.

Wilt

Uh-huh.

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I’m going to the Ice Charades, I’m going to the Ice Charades!

Azul!

Coco!

Wilt

We’re trying to sleep!

Sorry. [Whispers] I’m going to the Ice Charades, I’m going to the Ice Charades!

[Bloo continues to sing "I’m going to the Ice Charades, I’m going to the Ice Charades!" the next day, annoying everyone in the house, except Eduardo, who is still sad he is not going to the Ice Charades. Cut to a scene where two Friends are watching the basketball game, but Bloo’s singing causes them to change the channel to a program where Bloo is still singing his song. Cut to a scene where Bloo is still singing until the doorbell rings]

I’m going to the front-door Charades!