Father Dougal quotes from Father Ted

Father Dougal

Come on, Ted. Sure it's no more peculiar than all that stuff we learned in the seminary, you know, Heaven and Hell and everlasting life and all that type of thing. You're not meant to take it seriously, Ted!

Father Dougal

(Smiling) God it's lovely out!

Father Dougal

The ants are back Ted!

Father Dougal

So... God. Does he really exist? I mean, who knows? I don't know. Personally I don't even believe in organised religion!

Father Dougal

Looks like rain, Ted.

Father Dougal

So anyway, you're there now with Our Lord and Stalin and Bob Marley and my own parents...,

Father Dougal

God Ted, he's probably very cold now that his towel has blown away!

Father Dougal

Ted, I'm going mad.

Father Dougal

(on struggling to make out the number eleven on his ticket) Sorry Ted, I was looking at the ticket upside down.

Father Dougal

D’know what this is like, Ted? It’s like The Sting. I’m Robert Redford and you’re Paul Newman (he leaves the room towards the right side of the open door, then he goes round before walking into the door)

Father Dougal

(to Bishop O'Neill) So, if God has existed forever...you know, what did he do in his spare time, like, before he made the Earth and everything?

Father Dougal

It's like a big rabbit rock festival!

Father Dougal

Oh. That's the other thing Ted. I sold Niamh the house.

Father Dougal

Those women were in the nip!

Father Dougal

"[after Ted puts the brick on the accelerator and tells him to step off the float, waving the brick in the air]" Ted! You forgot your brick!"