Henry Sellers quotes from Father Ted

Henry Sellers

What is the capital of the UK? Is it (a), New York, (b), London (he nods unsubtly), or (c), Munich?

Henry Sellers

I'll give you a clue: you live there.

Oh sorry, I lent on the buzzer by accident.

Henry Sellers

Okay, moving on. A stitch in time saves how many?

Henry Sellers

Oh what a shower of bastards!

Oh Lord Ted!, why did you give him a drink?

Father Ted

I didn't know this would happen!

That's why they sacked him from that programme, he's a terrible alcoholic and he's been on the wagon now for a year, Oh my god Ted!

Father Ted

How was I supposed to know?

Henry Sellers

Sack me!, Sack me! I made the BBC! (sobs) I made it!

Father Ted

Henry, maybe if you have a rest you'll feel better?

Henry Sellers

Get away from me, priest!

Father Ted

Perhaps it's time to go to bed!

Father Ted

(After Henry kicks television) Good man there's nothing on anyway!

Henry Sellers

Do you want a fight?!

Henry Sellers

Bloody priests, sanctimonious scumbags!

Father Ted

Absolutely!

Henry Sellers

Made my life a bloody misery!

Father Ted

Sorry about that are you sure you don't want to go to bed, we could stay up a bit longer perhaps!

Henry Sellers

Oh I'm fed up of you bastards! I'm getting outta here don't you try and stop me (smashes through window)

Father Dougal

It's true what they say isn't it you should never meet your heroes you'll only be disappointed!

Henry Sellers

Oh well, since I didn't humiliate myself too much last time, I might as well have a glass of champagne. Cheers!

Father Ted

Henry, no!

Henry Sellers

Mmm! Don't worry, Father. Sure, if I can't celebrate tonight, then when can I, the bastards! What the hell is going on here, how dare they do this to me?! How dare they sack me! I'm Henry Sellers! I'm Henry Sellers!

Father Ted

Well, there he goes again.

Father Dougal

You're right there, Ted.

Father Ted

Never mind, we can look for him in the morning.