Everlasting Life? Big Demons sticking hot pokers up Your arse for all Eternity? I don't buy it
Bishop O'Neill
Father Ted · 281 quotes
Tied for 6th most-quoted character in Father Ted: in 5 of its 281 quotes
Most scenes with: Father Dougal (3)
Lines by Bishop O'Neill 1
Scenes with Bishop O'Neill 4
(to Bishop O'Neill) That would be an ecumenical matter.
Yes. I suppose it would! That's a good point Father.
So Father, do you ever have any doubts? Is your faith ever tested? Any trouble you've been having with beliefs or anything like that?
Well you know the way God made us, and he's looking down at us from heaven?
Yeah...
And then his son came down and saved everyone and all that?
Uh huh...
And when we die, we're all going to go to heaven?
Yes. What about it?
Well that's the part I have trouble with!
(The three priests and three bishops are gathered around the Holy Stone of Clonrichert, giving the blessing liturgy)
Heavenly Father, hear our prayer. We pray that this rock be upgraded to a class 2 relic. And by the grace of God, bring healing to all who pass within a radius of 2½ to 3 feet of it, at your discretion. And may all who are healed in such a way give glory to you, our Lord, through your earthly form of this class 2 relic. Amen.
Amen.
Eamonn.
(Fathers Ted and Dougal are waiting outside for the bishops as they leave)
(Bishop O'Neill exits first. He is dressed in hippy clothes)
Dougal.
(Bishop O'Neill shakes Dougal's hand)
Oh. You're welcome Bishop.
(correcting him). No, no. "Eddie".
Are you sure you won't reconsider your decision?
No. Anyway it's too late. I'm off to India for two months with a few friends. Ah, there they are. (gives peace sign to Ted and Dougal)
(Hippies in a VW Kombi drive up)
See you again then.
(Bishop O'Neill (Eddie), climbs into van with hippy friends, and is immediately given a marijuana joint, which he begins to smoke)
(Bishop Facks is the next to exit, walking very gingerly and accompanied by a paramedic)
Ah, your grace. (quietly) The Holy Stone... will it still be a class 2 when they, er... (motions head towards Facks's buttocks)
(Bishop Facks does not reply and walks off into a waiting ambulance)
(Bishop Jordan is the final one to exit, in a coffin carried by two men in suits)
God Bless. (Dougal gives a wave to the coffin as it passes by)
(Fathers Ted and Dougal walk inside into the living room)
That went pretty well I thought.
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