Warren Cheswick quotes from Ed

Warren

[trying to convince Jessica to be his prom date] What if we just go as friends? Let's just go as friends. I'll buy you a dress!

Warren

[when the pimp questions his given age of 25] Pendleton men have always been a little boyish. It's both a blessing and a curse.

Warren

[to the escort Tonya, when he picks her up] Get out of my dreams and into my station wagon.

Warren

Look at me. I've got a thin tie. I'm wearing a thin tie to the prom! Woo hoo! I'm my own man.

Warren

Let's spend another Friday night in my basement, eating my mom's zucchini bread and watching Battlebots.

Warren

I knew it! I knew it! I'm going upstate. Oh my god. I'm going upstate to visit some guy with a name like Ice or Big Daddy. He's gonna make me his bitch and he's gonna trade me for a carton of cigarettes or a girlie magazine!

Warren

[on his pep rally plans] I'm gonna rock this hizzy!

Warren

[during his pep rally take-over] If you didn't come to party then take your shabby ass home, cuz Chezz-Cat is in the house!

Warren

[on Abraham Lincoln`s wrestling career] He'd throw down his top hat and start kicking ass!

Warren

Don't tell anyone, but I'm currently developing the 5/8 Nelson.

Warren

For the first time in my life, I'm giving off pheromones! Thick, billowing clouds of pheromones!

Warren

Seriously, Ed. I owe you big time. You're my dog!

Warren

[to Jessica, as she is dumping him] Jess, come on. Throw a dog a bone.

Warren

Your fickle friends Who, What Where, Why and When can fly you to the moon one day and leave you high and dry and begging for mercy the next.

Warren

[on Dennis] He's a very unpredictable man, with the temperament of a jungle cat, I might add.