Chiaotzu quotes from Dragon Ball Z

[Launch has invited Tien and Chiaotzu to eat] Whoah Tien, look!

Tien

You made all this yourself?

What are you, crazy? I hired a bunch o' cooks to do all the work. These guys are the best in the business and they only use the freshest ingredients, right?! [The crowd of cooks gets afraid of Launch]

All this food must've cost a lot.

Don't worry about it. I just happened to come into a lot o' dough lately.

Well, why don't you put your strength to good use and come work with me. You'll get rich. Just think. With your brawn and my brains, we could pull off some major bank heists. It would be so easy, in no time we'd be living like royalty for sure. 'Cause money does buy happiness. You with me?

Tien, lets eat. I'm starving.

Now that's a good boy! You go ahead and start eatin'. You gotta keep your strength up.

Thank you.

Look Tien. Robbin' banks is the way to go. It's so exciting when you take control. You fire one shot in the air and everybody scatters like mice. So, come on, what do ya say you and I give it a shot? We could be great.

Tien

Chiaotzu, lets go. [Tien leaves]

How come?

Doesn't he know it's an offer he can't refuse!?

There you are! And you know I been lookin' for ya! You won't get away from me!

Tien

Uh...?

Huh?!

Now I want you two ta quit goofin' around and get over here right now!

But Tien, we can't leave here...you know... [about Launch]

Quiet little man!

Aha ha aha ha aha ha....

Oh, Tien.

Tien

Uh...?

Don't even think about tryin' ta forget me! I'm gonna follow you wherever you go and I don't care if you go all the way ta Kami's place.

Krillin

Hey, Kami. I don't mean to be rude, but we're not really learning anything new.

Yamcha

He's right. So far, you haven't taught us anything we couldn't do on our own. We wanna be as strong as Goku was when he was here.

Krillin

Yeah, come on. We want the same training you gave Goku, Kami.

Kami

Please listen carefully then.

Uh...?

Kami

I taught...Goku....nothing! That's what I taught him. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Yamcha

Hey, what did he mean by that?

Who knows? If this camp wasn't free, I'd be out of here! Just between you and me, the food's not that great.

[telepathically speaking to Tien while grabbing onto Nappa's back in midair] Tien, can you hear me?

Tien

Ah?

I hope my ESP is working. I have to say goodbye now.

Tien

What? What are you talking about? Chiaotzu! You're not going anywhere! Just stop it!

Nappa

Grrr...heh.

I'm sorry Tien, I have to do this. Thank you for everything. You're my best friend, always.

Tien

No, don't! Chiaotzu, please! This isn't the answer!

It's the only way Tien. Don't worry. I'm not afraid. And if I can save you, then it's worth dying for. [Nappa begins to ascend, trying to spike Chiaotzu into a sharp mountain]

Tien

No! Stop it! Get off!

Goodbye Tien. Remember me! Ah...ah...

Krillin

Huh...

Piccolo

Grrr...

Huh...

Nappa

Grrr...... [Chiaotzu's light energy begins to envelop Nappa's body]

Tien

Chiaotzu! No!

Hmm...uh...ah...uh...uh... [Chiaotzu explodes himself on Nappa, killing himself in the process]

I sense a powerful force is headed for planet Namek!

Yamcha

You mean Goku?

No, there are five of them. Evil...it's the Ginyu Force!

Yamcha

It's the Gin-who-what?

They're a...a highly trained and highly secret assault team. Across the universe, wars have erupted without warning...cities and civilizations have been demolished...planets left in ruin. All with no clear idea as to how or why such wars ever began, but I know who is responsible, a secret elite army called the Ginyu Force. The private army of Frieza.

Yamcha

Well, now that we've been through your training, the only force they're gonna be is forced back home.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Nice one Yamcha.

Yamcha

Yeah. Yeah, I just made that up! Ha ha ha ha.

Yamcha

Just count your eyes and add one.

Tien

Uh! What do you know!?

Yamcha

Well, I know this! I'm one of the three going back!

Tien

Wait! No! You need to fix your hair. You should stay!

Yamcha

Fix my hair? So I like to comb my hair a lot! At least I have hair, q-ball.

Tien

Q-ball huh!? You jerk!

Hey guys! Why don't we draw straws.

Yamcha

Yeah right! There's one small problem. You and Tien are telepathic!

We're not cheaters! How dare you!

Jeice

Well, I can see that they're impressed. I've gotta admit, our fighting poses are awesome, no matter how many times we do them.

Oh, by the looks of it, this place seems to be a real nice planet. I think we should make it our new fighting headquarters.

Now that sounds like a plan!

Jeice

And using our superior strength, we, the Ginyu Force, will conquer this planet!

Yamcha

Tien, these guys are idiots.

Tien

You can say that again. And if I'm not mistaken, wasn't it the Ginyu Force that took on Vegeta and got beat?

Ah...I think you're right. Oh!

So, you're friends with Vegeta, huh? That makes things a little clearer. We're the Ginyu Force, the most elite fighting force in the universe. Your friend Vegeta was an insignificant worm compared to us.

That's right. We woulda beaten that monkey with one blow except we ran into a little bit of bad luck.

Yeah, but that's all ancient history. Besides, we're here now and we like this place. And we're going ta make it our home.

So why don't you make like a hair and split!

Yamcha

Hey! Who do you think you are? It's you who's going to leave!

Yeah! Get lost!

Heh heh heh heh heh. Please. Don't make me laugh. Aha ha ha.

Jeice

If they wanna fight, bring it on, 'cause I believe we all could use the exercise.

Oh...wait a second. Remember what our fearless leader said? When on a new planet, make sure that you test your powers first, because the climate might affect your ability to fight.

Jeice

Hmm...you got a point there, Recoome. Alright.

It finally happened. Goku defeated Frieza! Goku has defeated Frieza! Woohoo! Frieza's been defeated! Goku has defeated Frieza! Ha ha! Woohoohoohoo! Yeah! Ha ha!

Tien

So, he really pulled it off.

Jeice

You think the old kook is tellin' the truth?

I'd say he's nuts.

Impossible!

Hooray for Goku!

Tien

Yeah, I second that, Chiaotzu.

Yamcha

I knew he'd win.

It looks like Frieza won this one my friends. Goku had Frieza against the ropes. With his new power, Goku had Frieza totally outclassed in strength and speed.

Yamcha

Then how? What went wrong?

Maybe Goku's still okay.

No. I wish that were possible Chiaotzu. Frieza got desperate. He was losing the battle, so he used his trump card. He couldn't beat Goku, so he destroyed Namek.

Yamcha

Destroyed Namek? But then, that means...

That means that there was no longer any atmosphere or air for them to breathe. I'm afraid it's all over.

Using the Namek's dragonballs is a great idea. But I'm afraid it won't help Goku and Krillin!

Uh?

Yamcha

Huh?

Tien

Why not?

Well, when the dragon restores someone's life, he brings them back to the place where they died. But Goku and Krillin died on Namek.

Yamcha

Oh, I get it now. Namek isn't there.

Yes. You hit the nail on the head. Namek's gone. What a shame. It was a great idea.

But can we try it anyway?

Of course you can. But I already know what would happen. Trust me. It's not something you'd wanna do to your friends. They would materialize in space, right where Namek used to be. And die a lonely death in the middle of nowhere.

Yamcha

Tien! Chiaotzu!

Ah?

Tien

[angrily] Vegeta! I didn't realize you were going to be here too!

Vegeta

Is that okay?

Tien

As a matter of fact, it isn't. I still haven't forgotten what happened the last time we met. You disgust me. How can you stomach him Yamcha.

Vegeta

Ha. Loser.

Tien

What!?

Yamcha

Hey, cool it guys. This is no time to fight, okay?

Vegeta

[to Tien and Yamcha] Be quiet. I'd rather Frieza's scouters didn't detect us because of your incessant jabbering. Besides, all this scary talk is upsetting the Namek.

Yamcha

The Namek?

Uh?

Yamcha

Piccolo!? How long have you been standing there?

Piccolo

Long enough to hear all of your senseless bickering.

That was delicious Chiaotzu! You really know how to make a fine bowl of soup!

Heh heh heh heh. Thanks Master Roshi!

Oolong

Mmmm...this might be the best soup I ever had. Please tell me there's some more where this came from, I could go for a couple o' helpings of seconds and maybe even some thirds too.

Uh...where did you learn to cook like that?

I used to cook for Tien when he was training and I came up with a few of my own recipes.