Master Roshi quotes from Dragon Ball Z

Ahem...two months alone with Bulma...sign me up! It'll be the trip of a lifetime, I promise.

[after Goku sees a needle and screams] Oh boy. Goku, please don't tell me that I'm going to have to start training you not to fear needles.

[after Maron leaves with lots of her boyfriends] What a darn shame. If only I were a younger man...then maybe I could've been one of Maron's boyfriends too. It's not fair! It's not!

[about Hercule, after watching Hercule act out in front of Cell on television] You know, it might be fair if he gets killed!

Hey, who's the kid?

Krillin

You tryin' ta earn some extra cash babysitting or something?

He's my son. [Master Roshi, Bulma, and Krillin are shocked]

Your son!?

Pretty wild, huh?

Goku.

Raditz

Huh?

Huh?

There's something...something your grandfather once told me that I think you should know. Long ago, your grandpa Gohan was walking through the woods when he came upon a crater that had been recently made in the ground. When he went to examine it more closely, he found what appeared to be some sort of spaceship, and next to it, there you were, lying in a little round pod. Gohan tried to take care of you, but you were wild. Downright uncontrollable and unusually powerful for a baby. You wanted nothing to do with Gohan's kindness. Then, one day, there was a terrible accident. You fell into a deep ravine and badly injured your head. Your grandfather feared that he had lost you, but somehow, miraculously, you survived. Yes, any other child would have died, but you recovered. And from that day on, you became a happy loving boy.

I'm from outer space!?

Yes.

Well, that would explain a lot! So you think Goku has some connection with this guy?

I wish I knew.

'kay. You've got my attention. Now tell us who you are.

Raditz

Well, I wasn't expecting to give a history lesson when I came here today, but alright, I'll tell you everything. After all, you are going to be working for me from now on and I do like my subordinates to be well informed. [Krillin comes back]

Hey Krillin! You alright?

Krillin

Yeah, be careful Goku. This guy's not...normal.

Believe me, I know. I could sense that from the minute he landed. Even now, standing here talking to him like this, something about him turns my stomach.

Raditz

Such harsh words. Careful, you're more like me than you realize.

Hmmm...

Raditz

You were born on the planet Vegeta. You are a space fighter, a Saiyan warrior, just like me.

Huh!?

Uh...uh!?

Krillin

What?

Goku...

Raditz

Ha ha ha ha ha. So baby brother wants to be left alone. Well, its a pity that's not going to happen. No, at this point, I'm afraid you're far too valuable to us for that. You see, three years ago, our home planet Vegeta met with an unfortunate accident, when a huge comet splattered to its surface. The planet was vaporized and the Saiyan race destroyed. There's not too many of us left now brother. In fact, as far as we can tell, there are only four, including you. We were the only Saiyans away from home when the planet exploded. Like you, the rest of us have been sent off to perform a few hostile takeovers. And now we found another world we'd like to conquer. It should bring in a very high price. But unfortunately, the job's a little too big for only three of us to handle. We were almost afraid we'd have to pass it up, until I remembered you Kakarot. You're not as powerful as I might've hoped, but still, with your help, we should manage nicely. Well now, what do you think? Are you excited? You should be. I've come to take you back into the fold.

I heard enough!

Raditz

Hmmm...

I'd die before I'd join a gang of pirates like you!

Raditz

Interesting. I have been meaning to ask you Kakarot, I couldn't help but notice your son has a tail.

Leave him outta this!

Raditz

I'll decide that! If you won't join us, I suppose I'll just have to settle for taking the boy in your place.

Wha...?

Krillin

Goku...

We'll see. Ha!

Raditz

I see the fire in your eyes brother. You should come with us. It's in your blood, you love to fight.

Huh?

Raditz

Now.

Krillin

I'm right here with you Goku.

Just stay close to Gohan.

Watch it Goku. [Raditz teleports and smashes Goku in the stomach, sending him sprawling backward]

Uh! Ooh...uh....

Don't worry! Krillin and I are ready! We'll put that space pirate out of business, won't we?

Krillin

Well, if there's three of us, I guess it's possible. Possible but...not likely.

Piccolo

Before you leave, I have a request to make. This'll sound strange but try to put your emotions aside. I want Goku's son to come with me for special training.

What?

Krillin

No way! You can't fool me mister! Special training...!

Piccolo

Grrr...

Krillin

You just wanna gobble him up!

Piccolo

I do not!

Then tell us why.

Piccolo

Earlier today, this boy showed signs that he might be the most powerful person on this planet. I think I can teach him to control his power, so he can use it to help us defend the Earth when the other Saiyans arrive.

Hmm...

Piccolo

It is a long shot. He might still be too young, we'll see.

Krillin

Yeah. He's probably too young.

Right. I wouldn't chance it if I were you...aha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Hmm...at any rate, I'd say you'd have to ask the boy's mother.

Piccolo

I'm not asking! I'm telling!

Eh!?

Ah?!

Piccolo

Look, nothing else matters right now except beating the other Saiyans in one year! The boy's in good hands. [Piccolo takes Gohan] Aha ha ha. When you wish Goku back, tell him he can look forward to seeing his son one year from now, I'll do what I can with this pampered kid. Hopefully, our work will bare fruit. Remember, tell him one year. [Piccolo leaves with Gohan]

I never was a good babysitter.

Krillin

Now we're done for. So who's gonna tell Chi-Chi?

So, uh, how did she take it Krillin?

Krillin

Uh...I didn't tell her.

Eh....

No way! Seriously?

Krillin

Yup.

I can't believe you Krillin. So what have you been doing all this time?

Krillin

W...well, we started eating dinner, and it got late and...uh...they made me spend the night over there.

You are going to march right back over there and tell them what happened.

Krillin

No, anything but that.

Well, I can't blame you.

Why not? I just did.

[Bulma checks the scouter for Master Roshi's power level] This should tell us what your power level is. And it's...one hundred and thirty nine!?

One thirty nine, huh? That seems a little low to me.

No, I'm sure it's a good rating, considering you're an old man.

I don't know which hurts worse...the lousy power rating or the commentary that goes with it.

Krillin

Hey, check mine out! I'd love to know what my power level is!

Alright. You've got it. [Bulma checks the scouter for Krillin's power level] Two o six. Not bad.

Krillin

Oh wow! Hear that Master Roshi? My power level's higher than yours!

Eh...that proves it. The gizmo's busted.

Krillin

Oh...ya think...?

I know a way to find out. Ah. [Bulma checks the scouter for Turtle's power level] Alright Turtle, put up your dukes. I'm gonna check the calibration on this thing. Power level point zero zero one. Ha ha ha ha ha. Sorry, Roshi. I'd say it's pretty accurate.

Krillin

Oh yeah!

I'll be...

Ah, cheer up. You're still stronger than me.

Krillin

So uh...did Korin send you?

"Hey, look at me. I'm know-it-all Korin." That's the guy. And he wants you ta bring Yamcha, and Ten-somebody and uh...Chiao-whatever...

Krillin

Oh. You mean Tien and Chiaotzu.

Not me?

Yeah, like I said...get all those guys and bring 'em to Korin Tower. I'm training with you too.

Krillin

What? No way!?

Yeah, crazy huh? I told Korin I'm not fightin' any stupid aliens and he went through the roof. I thought he was gonna kill me. He's serious.

The power measured from Goku was unstable. Think about it. A candle flickers most violently just before it burns out.

You're saying that Goku's in trouble?

[sarcastic] No, I'm talkin' about candles...of course he's in trouble!

You see, the dragonballs are tied to the one who created them. And, they cannot grant a wish that exceeds their maker's power.

Oh, that's a load o' hooey. You're makin' it up. You just don't wanna admit that you're wrong. Yeah. [Korin slaps Yajirobe's face with his tail]

Hey, I thought I told ya ta can it, stupid!

[after Bulma walks in] Oh, it's Bulma! I thought it was a hot new nurse. Heh.

Can't you be serious for a change?

I was serious.