Oolong quotes from Dragon Ball Z

Oolong

[about Krillin and Maron] Man, this is just like beauty and the geek!

Oolong

[Baby Trunks starts pulling Future Trunks' hair] Gee, look at that. Trunks is pulling on Trunks' hair.

Why have you summoned me? Tell me your wish now.

Oolong

Yes, uh, excuse me. Mr. Dragon, could you possibly destroy the Saiyans that are on their way to Earth right about now?

Hey, Oolong! That's not the wish! What about Goku, you little pig!

Oolong

What? We could wish Goku back but why not wish him back next time and have the dragon save the world now?

Your wish cannot be granted because the guardian of Earth created me. I cannot grant a wish that exceed's his power.

Those Saiyans aren't here on vacation you know? They wanna take over our planet and sell it. It'll be the end of the world as we know it.

Oolong

Uh...oh, no! Please, I don't want it to end. Uh...oh, I can't take it. Why did you have to go and tell me that Bulma, you know that I'm highly allergic to danger.

You mean that you're a coward.

Oolong

Uh, it's a medical condition.

Right, your selfishness produces a chemical in your brain that causes extreme fear.

Sometimes I amaze even myself.

Oolong

Dr. Brief! Where's Goku?

On his way to planet Namek. Probably wishing he had capuccino already.

Where's Maron?

Krillin

Well, things were gettin' complicated so I broke up with her.

Oh, poor guy.

Ah, it's a darn shame.

Oolong

Well, I don't believe it. I'll bet she dumped him.

I had a weird dream last night that Vegeta came back.

Yamcha

What? Vegeta? You dreamt about him?

You know, actually, he was pretty nice to me in the dream. And a good kisser to boot.

Yamcha

What? You kissed him?

It was just a dream Yamcha!

Oolong

You poor sap. You're jealous, aren't you? Admit it.

Oolong

Maron, he's not lost! Krillin's off fighting some androids made by the leader of the old Red Ribbon army.

What? Red ribbon? Oh, my goodness. Krillin, you sensed I was coming so you went out to get a red ribbon for me.

That was delicious Chiaotzu! You really know how to make a fine bowl of soup!

Heh heh heh heh. Thanks Master Roshi!

Oolong

Mmmm...this might be the best soup I ever had. Please tell me there's some more where this came from, I could go for a couple o' helpings of seconds and maybe even some thirds too.

Uh...where did you learn to cook like that?

I used to cook for Tien when he was training and I came up with a few of my own recipes.

Here's a thought. Why don't you stay here and train with us Chiaotzu.

Huh? Stay with you?

Sure. You could stay here and train with all of us.

Oolong

Train? Heh! Come on, admit it! The only reason you want him to stay is so he'll cook for ya!

That's ridiculous! I...I just thought it would be nice if he-

Oolong

Nice if he cooked for you!

That's not true!

Oolong

Hey, wait a minute. If those androids are going to Goku's house first and they don't find him there, isn't this the next obvious place to look?

Yamcha

Yeah, probably. That seems logical enough.

Oolong

Then what are we doing waiting around here like sitting ducks?! When they get here, we're finished!

Krillin

[after Krillin talks to Bulma on the phone] It's Bulma. She wants us to watch somethin' on TV.

Why? She gonna be on a show?

Oolong

Yeah, and now she wants us all to watch so she can brag about how famous she is...

Yamcha

Ha ha ha ha. Probably.

Can anyone he wants enter the competition?

Trunks

He'll take on anyone who challenges him. And he expects to have a battle with each of us...one by one.

Of course. You know what he's trying to do. I do. His plan is to eliminate the competition once and for all.

Yamcha

Well, I kind o' like the idea of another martial arts tournament. I mean, hey. I think I'll dominate.

Yeah! Let's get 'im!

Yamcha

Yeah!

Oolong

Just make sure you don't get another hand through your stomach.

Now wasn't there a martial arts tournament a long time ago?

That's correct. Ah yes. I believe I'll explain since I once won the tournament myself.

What? Master Roshi? I never knew you won it.

Oolong

Oh, you just had to get him started.

Oolong

I got it. We borrow Bulma's ship, orbit the Earth, and then sit back and watch the fireworks.

Oolong!

Oolong

Yeah, I bet ol' Cell would never think to look for us up in outer space.

Only a heartless soul would run and leave his friends behind. We're in this together.