Jean quotes from Dinnerladies

Stan

Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!

Jean

Is the bus reversing?

Bren

Tony didn't tear it. It was Martin.

Jean

Ooh, this gets better. Who's Martin? Should we have had a bet on him?

Bren

He's my-

Jean

Calor Gas man?

Dolly

Mother's boyfriend?

Philippa

Chiropodist?

Anita

Stick insect?

Bren

Husband.

Jean

I'll tell you about the time Keith's Auntie Dot from Cockermouth found two albino gerbils under the spare bed.

Philippa

Aww. Did they mate?

Jean

Well they didn't, what with them being two angora bed socks.

Bren

Jean, I have to say it. Excuse me, Dolly, don't listen to this. Keith is an arsehole.

Jean

I know, but you con get used to that in a person.

Philippa

Do you miss your husband Jean/

Jean

Mmm.. I miss the company. I'm not cut out for being on my own. If I say something like 'I'm a fool I left those tomatoes on the back seat.' It's nice if there's someone there going 'have you?'

Dolly

(about Christine) She's fascinated with what she calls "The City Beyond the Shining Water".

Jean

Halifax?

Anita

When our neighbour died, when the (she draws a box in mid air)

Twinkle

Coffin?

Anita

Went through the (mimes looking through curtains and draws them in mid air as well)

Jean

Curtains?

Anita

They played the theme music from Countdown!

Bren

Did it make you cry?

Anita

No, I never watch it!