[Daria's flashback]
Daria, you're never going to make friends if you keep your nose buried in a book.
Let's hope. [Helen sighs and takes book away from Daria] Hey!
Dammit! I knew we forgot something.
[Back window of car rolls down to show young Quinn hiding inside]
Come on, Quinn. We're here. [opens door]
Young QuinnI don't want to go to camp! [Helen pulls Quinn from car] I don't want to go to camp! Hey, that girl has my backpack! [runs over to younger Tracy, Cindy and Tatiana] Look, I have the same backpack.
TTracy
Hmm. I can see where the untrained eye would think so. It's quite a skillful imitation.
Young Quinn
Um, I like your hair.
CCindy
Who's that weird girl over there with your parents?
Young Quinn
That's my sis...cousin! Distant cousin.
[flashback ends]
But Rita, if Erin never loved him, why'd she marry him in the first place? [pause] Once he gave her herpes she didn't think anyone else would want her? Oh Lord, Rita, it's a new millennium. When will people get rid of these outmoded ideas about sex? [to Quinn] Where's your sister?
Quinn
In her room.
Quinn
Mom! I'm not J. Edgar Winter!
Talk to your aunt! [runs up the stairs]
Quinn
Hello? [pause] It's Quinn, Aunt Rita. Well, of course she should divorce him, he's short!
Quinn
And my Language Arts substitute wouldn't stop talking about this stupid novel he's writing!
Quinn
About some professor who dates a budding child woman because he wants to blossom her.
Quinn
And then he started acting out his stupid book for us, stroking Tiffany's hair and telling her about his anguished soul...
Mm-hmm... what?! He was stroking Tiffany's hair?!
Quinn
I know! Like Tiffany would ever date someone who wore a tweed jacket.
Daria! Get me the... [she takes the phone away from Daria where this was headed moments earlier] Thank you.
[At caricature booth, artist turns finished drawing to show seated Fashion Club. Sandi, Quinn and Tiffany gasp in shock]
[going to artist] I do not look like that!
It's like our features are exaggerated or something.
AArtist
Hey, if you don't want it, don't buy it. I'll use it as a sample.
Quinn
[rises] But you can't put it on display! Someone might see it!
[takes drawing and hands over money] I'll take that as exhibit "A." Come on, maybe we can find someone else to insult us.
[Sandi, Quinn, and Tiffany leave while Stacy hangs back as artist shrugs]
Quinn
Sandi helped me break my list into three categories: looks, popularity, and how well his hair matches my clothes.
You know Quinn, looks and popularity aren't really what's important in a relationship.
Quinn
Then what is?
The ability to fix major appliances.
Quinn
Hmm...yes, I can see that.
[Daria cracks her soda and walks off]
What's really important is that you find someone that you enjoy being with.
Quinn
You mean like how I enjoyed Kyle taking me to Le Yeast last night.
I mean someone you can get along with for more than one evening. Who can share your hopes and dreams, your trials and disappointments. Someone you look forward to seeing day after day, week after week, [angrier] month after month, year after year, the same old complaints about his uncaring father. God is he ever going to get over --
Quinn
Mo-oommmm! That's so boring!
Uh, not at all! That's compatibality!
Quinn
[gets up and leaves] I think I'll finish this upstairs.
[Daria's flashback #2, while Jake and Helen are arguing in another room; Daria is obviously frightened]
[offscreen] Dammit, Helen, that's it! How much am I supposed to take?
[offscreen] Jake, this isn't about you. It's about her, having a little trouble fitting in.
[offscreen] She doesn't want to fit in, damn it! Why can't you admit that?!
[offscreen] Jake, she's a child, she doesn't know any better!
[offscreen] That's what she wants you to believe!
[offscreen] Where are you going?!
[the front door, then another door slams, with little Daria wincing each time and pulling the covers up a little tighter ends flashback sequence]
Daria? Come on, the neighbors are starting to talk.
Um... good. Soon they'll progress to cave drawings and civilization will be on its way. [crawls out of the box just as Quinn approaches]
Quinn
Daria! I remembered! You were right! I remembered I was three or four and it was nighttime and I woke up because Mom and Dad were fighting, and then Dad was yelling and a door slammed and then I heard a car start up and he drove away.
Thank you. I knew I wasn't imagining it. Do you remember what they were fighting about?
Quinn
Um... yeah... they were fighting about you.
[Daria's flashback #3, little Daria is talking to the school counsellor)
DDoctor
Now, Daria... I want you to tell me what you see when you look at the picture. [holds up an inkblot]
What do you mean? That's not a picture.
DDoctor
Well, not the kind of picture we're used to seeing. This picture lets you make up what it's about.
Then why don't I just draw my own picture?
DDoctor
For instance... one little boy or girl might look at it and see a fire truck or a house. Another might see a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.
It's just a black splotch.
DDoctor
Daria, what's your favorite game to play at recess?
I don't like games. I like to read.
PPsychologist
Don't you enjoy playing with the other children?
Not really. They never understand what I'm talking about, and then they make fun of me. [pause] I like to read.
[in the car]
I'm just saying, Daria. If you give the other boys and girls a chance, you might find someone you like. It takes all kinds.
Little Quinn
I like lots of kids! [starts bouncing up and down]
Sweetie, it's a little hard for your father and me to keep taking time off from work to talk to the counselor. Why don't you meet us halfway and try talking to the other kids?
They don't say anything that interests me.
Little Quinn
I talk a lot to the other kids, and they talk back!
[the car pulls into the driveway of their home]
Daria, how do you know they don't interest you?
Little Quinn
I'm not tired!
[later that night, Daria is in bed, while Jake and Helen are arguing in another room]
[offscreen] Well, I don't know what to do. I'm at my wits' end.
[offscreen] Dammit, Helen, that's it! I go in there every day to face a psychotic boss, a job that makes me feel like a freakin' slave, then I have to come home and deal with this? How much am I supposed to take?
[offscreen] Jake, this isn't about you. It's about her, having a little trouble fitting in.
[offscreen] She doesn't want to fit in, damn it! Why can't you admit that?!
[offscreen] Jake, she's a child, she doesn't know any better!
[offscreen] That's what she wants you to believe!
[offscreen] Where are you going?!
[Daria's flashback #3 ends as Daria hides inside the box]
Daria · 137 quotes
