I mean, just because you dump a guy for his older, cuter brother, does that give him the right to hold a grudge?
TiffanyYou know, if I knew we were going to be running around in the dirt, I wouldn't have worn my good sneakers.
Will you quiet down? I think I see something. [leaves]
Hey Quinn, is that your cousin? [Points her finger at Sandi]
[Quinn fires the paintballs at Sandi] Ow!
Tiffany
Way to go, Quinn!
[Sandi fires paintballs at both Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany]
Tiffany
Hey! I just bought this!
[All of them fire at each other until they give up where Sandi takes off the helmet and the goggles]
Sandi? What are you doing here?
I was looking for the bathroom and all of a sudden you started shooting at me. I thought we promised not to do that!
I would never fire at you, Sandi. I didn't recognize you with your goggles.
Tiffany
Yeah, why are you wearing them, anyway? They're so ugly.
Because those are the rules.
Well, some rules were meant to be broken, like wearing red lipstick with an orange top.
Or black mascara with blond hair.
Besides, you fired on us when you were already hit, and that's against the rules, too.
Tiffany
Yeah.
Gee, if everyone's on Quinn's side, maybe Quinn should be president of the Fashion Club.
Don't be silly. I would never try to be president, as long as you were around.
Sure. I mean, do you really think I could replace you?
Let's do the math one more time. Your dance decorations were a huge hit.
But my sister managed to take complete credit for them.
We hung out with a couple of guys who weren't so bad.
But they turned out to be carriers of the dreaded Ruttheimer gene.
So, we're more or less even on the night.
Darn. And it came so close to turning out semi-decent.
[snow begins to fall]
[pounds on door] Come on, you little punk, open up! Open this door, you little brat!
Tiffany
Oh, my God, let us in! Hello?
[Stacy whimpers]
Tiffany
You're that girl from Quinn's house.
Are you getting counseling, too?
Tiffany
[trance-like] I'm the counselor. It's volunteer work... to help the socially... challenged.
You're going to counsel me? Of course. It's some kind of cosmic payback for being too ironic. Okay. Is this going to take long?
Tiffany
[begins reading very slowly] "You... too... can learn to... make..."
Tiffany
"... friends. Making... friends..."
Why don't I read that to myself? That way, we can both be out of here before we graduate.
Tiffany
"Making friends... is..."
[taps foot impatiently] Fun? Interesting? Impossible?
Tiffany
"... important. Friends can be... very..."
[clock ticks from 3:00 to 3:01]
Useful? Supportive? Purple? What?!
Tiffany
You made me lose my place. [grunts softly in frustration] Let's see... "Making friends... is... important..."
So, there aren't any atomic communists?
[Points to the Fashion Club, who are all wearing black turtle necks and berets]
Tiffany
We're dressed this way for Fashion Club solidarity.
One of us has a problem. That's all you need to know.
Oh, dear! What kind of problem?
Tiffany
Don't worry, Quinn. They still don't know it's you.
[Quinn screams and runs off]
Tiffany
Did I say the wrong thing?
Excuse me, but this isn't my street.
BDBus Driver
No problem. Just click your heels and say there is no place like home. Only do it outside. This is the end of the line.
[Bus drives off, leaving the Fashion Club standing on a decrepit sidewalk in a rundown neighborhood]
Tiffany
What was that noise?
Stacy, you're not wearing those bangles again, are you?
Oh, no! It's the Rattling Girl of Lawndale!
Stacy, everyone knows that story was just made up by unpopular people to try to scare popular people into becoming unpopular.
[in the bathroom]
Should we tell her it's easier to speak if you open your mouth?
Tiffany
[enters the bathroom] Stacy, what time is the Fashion Club meeting today?
Tiffany
How co-
How come?! Because I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of doing all the work while you just sit there. I tried my best, and even if it wasn't as good as Sandi's or Quinn's, a chain is only as strong as its weakest round thingy, and you refused to lift one freakin' finger! I'm through running the Fashion Club all by myself while you [imitates Tiffany] stare.... in the mirror.... and talk.... about yourself.... [normal voice] and I, I, I quit!
Tiffany
Hmm, maybe I should quit, too.
[Stacy leaves, while Tiffany starts plucking her eyebrows]
You saw it here first. The Fashion Club is dead. Pay me my 80 smackers.
[At caricature booth, artist turns finished drawing to show seated Fashion Club. Sandi, Quinn and Tiffany gasp in shock]
[going to artist] I do not look like that!
Tiffany
It's like our features are exaggerated or something.
AArtist
Hey, if you don't want it, don't buy it. I'll use it as a sample.
[rises] But you can't put it on display! Someone might see it!
[takes drawing and hands over money] I'll take that as exhibit "A." Come on, maybe we can find someone else to insult us.
[Sandi, Quinn, and Tiffany leave while Stacy hangs back as artist shrugs]
Well, I think I should have the dress because Tiffany looks good in anything, whereas I don't due to a slight asymmetry in my shoulders that is very painful for me even to mention, but which this particular dress minimizes while setting off my eyes.
Very good, Stacy. And now, Tiffany?
Tiffany
Well, I think I should have the dress.
Um, Tiffany, is there anything you want to add?
Tiffany
Yes. Thank you and God bless.
[to Quinn] Perhaps a debate is not the way to go here.
Daria · 137 quotes
