I mean, just because you dump a guy for his older, cuter brother, does that give him the right to hold a grudge?
StacyThat's so immature.
You know, if I knew we were going to be running around in the dirt, I wouldn't have worn my good sneakers.
Will you quiet down? I think I see something. [leaves]
Stacy
Hey Quinn, is that your cousin? [Points her finger at Sandi]
[Quinn fires the paintballs at Sandi] Ow!
Stacy
Our leader!
[Sandi fires paintballs at both Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany]
[All of them fire at each other until they give up where Sandi takes off the helmet and the goggles]
Sandi? What are you doing here?
I was looking for the bathroom and all of a sudden you started shooting at me. I thought we promised not to do that!
I would never fire at you, Sandi. I didn't recognize you with your goggles.
Yeah, why are you wearing them, anyway? They're so ugly.
Because those are the rules.
Well, some rules were meant to be broken, like wearing red lipstick with an orange top.
Stacy
Or black mascara with blond hair.
Besides, you fired on us when you were already hit, and that's against the rules, too.
Gee, if everyone's on Quinn's side, maybe Quinn should be president of the Fashion Club.
Don't be silly. I would never try to be president, as long as you were around.
Sure. I mean, do you really think I could replace you?
[Daria and Jane are on the ferris wheel with Stacy crying]
Stacy
[sobs] But why? Is it something I said? Something I wore? Oh, I wish I were dead.
Look, don't flush your entire world down the drain just because some jerk didn't ask you out on a second date. It probably had nothing to do with you anyway.
Unless you did something really stupid, like bore him with your petty problems and convoluted logic.
Stacy
Why would I do that?
So, there aren't any atomic communists?
[Points to the Fashion Club, who are all wearing black turtle necks and berets]
We're dressed this way for Fashion Club solidarity.
One of us has a problem. That's all you need to know.
Oh, dear! What kind of problem?
Stacy
It's a neck zit!
Don't worry, Quinn. They still don't know it's you.
[Quinn screams and runs off]
Stacy
Uh-oh.
Did I say the wrong thing?
Excuse me, but this isn't my street.
BDBus Driver
No problem. Just click your heels and say there is no place like home. Only do it outside. This is the end of the line.
[Bus drives off, leaving the Fashion Club standing on a decrepit sidewalk in a rundown neighborhood]
Stacy, you're not wearing those bangles again, are you?
Stacy
Oh, no! It's the Rattling Girl of Lawndale!
Stacy, everyone knows that story was just made up by unpopular people to try to scare popular people into becoming unpopular.
[the Fashion Club is meeting in Sandi's bedroom]
Then it's unanimous. Under no circumstances will the Fashion Club accept applicants with stubby fingertips. Stacy, what is the next qualification to discuss under our agenda?
Stacy
Weight guidelines...unless you want to talk about something else!
If it's all right with you, Stacy, I prefer to conduct this meeting in an orderly fashion. With that said, I'm moving to scale back the number of allowable of pounds back by three.
Um, Sandi, I think it's a really cute idea and all, but it might make it really hard to find new members.
Obviously I'm the only one in this room concerned with the burgeoning obesity problem tearing apart the very fabric of our land.
Stacy
Not the fabric!
If I must stand alone in setting exemplary standards for others to follow, so be it. You're all overruled. Next topic.
That's mine! Give it back!
Stacy
Um, the next topic is eyelash density.
Excuse me. [she leaves the room and sees Sam and Chris fighting over the remote] Shut up, you little brats!
[the truck suddenly heads right for Sandi's legs and Sandi trips over the truck and tumbles down the stairs]
[laying at the bottom of the stairs, clutching her leg] My leg! It's broken!
[in the bathroom]
Should we tell her it's easier to speak if you open your mouth?
[enters the bathroom] Stacy, what time is the Fashion Club meeting today?
Stacy
There is no meeting.
Stacy
How come?! Because I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of doing all the work while you just sit there. I tried my best, and even if it wasn't as good as Sandi's or Quinn's, a chain is only as strong as its weakest round thingy, and you refused to lift one freakin' finger! I'm through running the Fashion Club all by myself while you [imitates Tiffany] stare.... in the mirror.... and talk.... about yourself.... [normal voice] and I, I, I quit!
Hmm, maybe I should quit, too.
[Stacy leaves, while Tiffany starts plucking her eyebrows]
You saw it here first. The Fashion Club is dead. Pay me my 80 smackers.
Stacy
Well, I think I should have the dress because Tiffany looks good in anything, whereas I don't due to a slight asymmetry in my shoulders that is very painful for me even to mention, but which this particular dress minimizes while setting off my eyes.
Very good, Stacy. And now, Tiffany?
Well, I think I should have the dress.
Um, Tiffany, is there anything you want to add?
Yes. Thank you and God bless.
[to Quinn] Perhaps a debate is not the way to go here.
Daria · 137 quotes
