I mean, just because you dump a guy for his older, cuter brother, does that give him the right to hold a grudge?
You know, if I knew we were going to be running around in the dirt, I wouldn't have worn my good sneakers.
Will you quiet down? I think I see something. [leaves]
Hey Quinn, is that your cousin? [Points her finger at Sandi]
SSandi
[Quinn fires the paintballs at Sandi] Ow!
[Sandi fires paintballs at both Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany]
[All of them fire at each other until they give up where Sandi takes off the helmet and the goggles]
Sandi? What are you doing here?
SSandi
I was looking for the bathroom and all of a sudden you started shooting at me. I thought we promised not to do that!
I would never fire at you, Sandi. I didn't recognize you with your goggles.
Yeah, why are you wearing them, anyway? They're so ugly.
SSandi
Because those are the rules.
Well, some rules were meant to be broken, like wearing red lipstick with an orange top.
Or black mascara with blond hair.
Besides, you fired on us when you were already hit, and that's against the rules, too.
SSandi
Gee, if everyone's on Quinn's side, maybe Quinn should be president of the Fashion Club.
Don't be silly. I would never try to be president, as long as you were around.
Sure. I mean, do you really think I could replace you?
So I told Peter, "Look...I don't care how many times you ask me out. You're not my type!"
SSandi
I know. I don't know how many times he's asked me out.
SSandi
No, you said you don't care how many times he's asked you out.
SSandi
(pointing to the television) Oh, look, Quinn. She's wearing sandals like yours. Is this a rerun?
I don't think so. (stands) Can I get you a diet soda?
SSandi
No, thanks. But help yourself to the grapes. I hear they're good for breakouts.
(grabbing the remote) Hey, sis, what you watching? (turns the channel)
SSandi
Turn it back! (Chris punches her arm) Ooow! You little geek!
Hey, what happened to Fashion Vision?
(gushingly) Oh, sorry, Quinn. Um, you want a peanut butter log?
Should I fluff your shoelaces?
SSandi
(jealous) If you guys like Quinn so much, maybe you should adopt her and I can go live with the Morgendorfers.
SSandi
Quinn, it's getting kind of crowded in here. Maybe Tiffany has more room.
Hi, guys. [guys greet Quinn eagerly] I was wondering if you could do me a teensy-weensy favor.
GGuys
I can do it. No problem!
Great! I need help planning the dance.
JJeffy
[clears throat] Quinn, we'd like to help but, uh, you know... we're guys.
SSandi
Gee, I hope everyone here isn't too busy to come to the party I'm having while my parents are out of town.
GGuys
[cheering] Yeah, we're there!
SSandi
Quinn, I just want to say that I'm really sorry about our fight. I don't even care who was at fault. I just hope you're not still mad.
I could never stay mad at you, Sandi.
SSandi
Good. So you'll be at my party next Saturday. I mean, it wouldn't be the same without you, Quinn.
GGuys
[chanting] Saturday, Saturday, Saturday!
Saturday? But that's the same night as the dance.
GGuys
[chanting] Dance, dance, dance!
SSandi
You're kidding! I forgot all about the dance. Gee, that's too, too bad. I mean, I can't un-order all that free pizza.
Well, I can't un-order, um, the free soda and tacos I was going to order.
SSandi
Outdoor turbo-jet hot tub.
Preferred seating for the popular.
SSandi
Green Bay on big screen!
SQSandi and Quinn
[to guys] Well?!!
Let's do the math one more time. Your dance decorations were a huge hit.
But my sister managed to take complete credit for them.
We hung out with a couple of guys who weren't so bad.
But they turned out to be carriers of the dreaded Ruttheimer gene.
So, we're more or less even on the night.
Darn. And it came so close to turning out semi-decent.
[snow begins to fall]
SSandi
[pounds on door] Come on, you little punk, open up! Open this door, you little brat!
Oh, my God, let us in! Hello?
[Stacy whimpers]
So, there aren't any atomic communists?
[Points to the Fashion Club, who are all wearing black turtle necks and berets]
We're dressed this way for Fashion Club solidarity.
SSandi
One of us has a problem. That's all you need to know.
Oh, dear! What kind of problem?
SSandi
A private problem.
Don't worry, Quinn. They still don't know it's you.
[Quinn screams and runs off]
Did I say the wrong thing?
SSandi
Don't worry about it.
PAPayday Announcer
[offscreen] Payday is currently experiencing a temporary power outage. Sales of butane, propane, methane, gasoline and other combustibles will be temporarily suspended until the sprinklers and ventilation system are working again, and we can get the damn doors open. Thank you for shopping the Payday way.
[Black interior of Payday]
[offscreen] Oh, no! Kevie, someone stole our cart! [pause] Kevie?
SSandi
[offscreen] Will whoever has their hand on my butt please remove it, this instant.
[Daria sighs in frustration]
SSandi
Excuse me, but this isn't my street.
BDBus Driver
No problem. Just click your heels and say there is no place like home. Only do it outside. This is the end of the line.
[Bus drives off, leaving the Fashion Club standing on a decrepit sidewalk in a rundown neighborhood]
SSandi
Stacy, you're not wearing those bangles again, are you?
Oh, no! It's the Rattling Girl of Lawndale!
SSandi
Stacy, everyone knows that story was just made up by unpopular people to try to scare popular people into becoming unpopular.
[the Fashion Club is meeting in Sandi's bedroom]
SSandi
Then it's unanimous. Under no circumstances will the Fashion Club accept applicants with stubby fingertips. Stacy, what is the next qualification to discuss under our agenda?
Weight guidelines...unless you want to talk about something else!
SSandi
If it's all right with you, Stacy, I prefer to conduct this meeting in an orderly fashion. With that said, I'm moving to scale back the number of allowable of pounds back by three.
Um, Sandi, I think it's a really cute idea and all, but it might make it really hard to find new members.
SSandi
Obviously I'm the only one in this room concerned with the burgeoning obesity problem tearing apart the very fabric of our land.
SSandi
If I must stand alone in setting exemplary standards for others to follow, so be it. You're all overruled. Next topic.
That's mine! Give it back!
Um, the next topic is eyelash density.
SSandi
Excuse me. [she leaves the room and sees Sam and Chris fighting over the remote] Shut up, you little brats!
[the truck suddenly heads right for Sandi's legs and Sandi trips over the truck and tumbles down the stairs]
SSandi
[laying at the bottom of the stairs, clutching her leg] My leg! It's broken!
[At caricature booth, artist turns finished drawing to show seated Fashion Club. Sandi, Quinn and Tiffany gasp in shock]
SSandi
[going to artist] I do not look like that!
It's like our features are exaggerated or something.
AArtist
Hey, if you don't want it, don't buy it. I'll use it as a sample.
[rises] But you can't put it on display! Someone might see it!
SSandi
[takes drawing and hands over money] I'll take that as exhibit "A." Come on, maybe we can find someone else to insult us.
[Sandi, Quinn, and Tiffany leave while Stacy hangs back as artist shrugs]
Well, I think I should have the dress because Tiffany looks good in anything, whereas I don't due to a slight asymmetry in my shoulders that is very painful for me even to mention, but which this particular dress minimizes while setting off my eyes.
SSandi
Very good, Stacy. And now, Tiffany?
Well, I think I should have the dress.
SSandi
Um, Tiffany, is there anything you want to add?
Yes. Thank you and God bless.
SSandi
[to Quinn] Perhaps a debate is not the way to go here.
Daria · 137 quotes
