[talking about go karts] You know, when I was a kid we used to make these things out of lunch trays and old lawn mower engines.
When I was a kid, I used to make bombs.
[looks at Greg]
[holds his fingers up to indicate "small"] Little bombs.
S8 E2A La Cart
You've been dodging me, it's time to talk. Gil, nobody wants to hear about your love life less than I do, but since you didn't handle this right, I have to take a formal statement. [Grissom (^^) stares at him] It should have been a conversation between friends. I mean, we could find someway around this. Catherine could have done Sara's evaluations. Why didn't you just tell me?
We didn't want you to know.
Don't most women like the world to know they are dating someone?
Where do you get your information about women, Conrad?
[php] Okay... so when did you two... you know...
Nine years ago.
You know what? You two need to get your stories straight.
When did you tell Ecklie we got involved?
Two years ago. Why, what did you tell him?
Nine years ago.
Sara (laughs): The Forensic Academy conference.
Yeah. You, uh, had too many questions about anthropology for some reason.
Well, I was stalling. I was trying to get the nerve to ask you to dinner.
You had a ponytail.
I'm gonna move to swing.
We talked about this.
I know that you said you would do it but I don't wanna do that to the team. Besides, I am sure that I could use more daylight in my life.[long pause] We should go.
Yeah.
S8 E3Go To Hell
So, I got a hit off of the print on the motel's 'Do Not Disturb' sign. [hands her paper]
Drug dealer with priors for assault. Nice.
Well, don't get too excited because I got another hit off of the telephone. Pedophile. [hands her another paper] And I got one off of the dress, a rapist. [hands her another paper] And another off the bed frame. A prostitute, a pimp, and another prostitute. [hands her more papers]
Is that it?
For felonies, yes. Do you want misdemeanors too?
You ever been the Rachno's Central Motel?
RRRev. Rhodes
Plenty of times. Hookers, addicts, drug dealers, pimps, wife beaters, runaways. I save people.
[shows him a picture] You ever save these two? [Rhodes stares at the picture, a little taken aback] You know them, don't you?
RRRev. Rhodes
There's nothing I can tell you.
These people have a daughter and she's missing. And due to the fact that you're a convicted sex offender, you better come up with something more than these corny, priestly homilies, and you better come up with them fast.
RRRev. Rhodes
I don't have to answer to you. I want to talk to my lawyer.
That's a good idea. Because you're under arrest.
[while searching Rhode's apartment] You know, if I had to gauge it by his apartment, I'd have to say that Alistair Rhodes is just a regular guy.
Yeah, I'm sure that's what he wants everyone to think too.
RRRev. Rhodes
Mr. Grissom...do you believe in a separate, living evil?
You're a primitive man on the Savannah. You see something move out of the corner of your eye. You assume it's a hyena. You run, you live. If you assume it's the wind and you're wrong, you die. We have the genes of the ones who ran. We're genetically hard-wired to believe living forces that we cannot see.
RRRev. Rhodes
The Devil's sliest trick is making us believe he isn't real. But call his name loud and long enough, [knocks on the table four times] guess who comes knockin' on your door?
Usually guys like you.
Cops must've picked him up before he died.
Maybe that's not all they did.
Well, it was a guess.
What is the first thing that police do when they question a suspect?
Check for I.D...Standard procedure.
Eddie Kaye's only identification was an expired driver's license found separated from all of his wordly possessions. Print it.
What? You're not seriously gonna go after the cops after something like this?
You know, that question I will answer. We're not here to protect anyone, Ronnie. Not even the cops. We're here to figure out what happened. If you can't do that, you should get different job.
Staff tells me that you've already gone through the SAE kit.
AAmy
They tell you I'm all banged up inside?
Not in those words.
Do you have any relatives?
AAmy
Not anymore.
I've got a daughter. She's almost your age.
AAmy
[coldly] Maybe we should hang out.
S8 E4The Case of the Cross-Dressing Carp
Oh, I love it when you dress up.
Well, you know whatever it takes to get some time with you. How's the study going? Any sign of colony-collapse disorder?
Nope, so far, it's healthy.
Nothing too healthy about smoking.
Well, the scent confuses the guard bees, they won't emit the pheromone that tells the colony there's an intruder.
Oh, don't worry, he's harmless. Who's who?
These are the workers, infertile females.
They don't sting?
Well, not unless you swat one, close one up in your hand or freak out. Go ahead, take off your glove.
All right, I trust you.
See, it's cool. The worker bees defend the hive, procure the pollen, make the honey, nurture the larvae and pupae in each of these group cells...you know, maybe we should get married.
[The bee on Sara's hand stings her]
Ouch.
Sorry. Don't pick it out, makes it worse, releases the venom into the blood stream. It's better to scrape it. So, er, what do you think, you know, about-
-Yes. Let's do it.
Yeah.
[She laughs, they try to kiss but have trouble in the bee suits]
S8 E5The Chick Chop Flick Shop
WSWendy Simms
I don't have huge breasts. Mine are kind of ... medium.
But perfect ...
(Wendy turns and glares at Hodges.)
--ly adequate. Better, in fact.
DDickie
(To Catherine) You know, I could open up new worlds to you. Have you ever had the back of those thighs kissed by a man, who's standing up? [Catherine bursts out laughing] So you find dwarfs funny?
[Still laughing] Sometimes, yeah.
S8 E6Who and What
Bring us up to speed Greg.
Okay, sure, um, Carmen Davis' keys were still in her purse, car's outside, no cash in the wallet and the credit cards have been removed and neatly stacked on the table. It appears as though they've been wiped clean. Killer was smart enough not to take anything that could be traced.
Which suggests that he was an experienced criminal. What do you know about this guy?
JMAgent Jack Malone
Including everything you just told me? Everything you just told me.
I'll call in some additional AV techs to help Archie get through the footage, but you know, I've learned that sometimes you can go faster by going slow.
JMAgent Jack Malone
Yeah, well I like to go faster by going fast. Waiting around isn't really my best thing.
I've gathered that from your interrogation technique. You know, maybe you should go back to your hotel and take a nap.
JMAgent Jack Malone
[looks around] Is this your office? Really? I mean, by choice? It's not some kind of, uh, surplus overflow issue?
What's wrong with my office?
JMAgent Jack Malone
Oh, I don't know. Uh, [Looks at pig in jar] why don't you tell me. [Puts on glasses for a closer look]
That's an irradiated fetal pig. I used it to determine the effects of radiation on tissue.
JMAgent Jack Malone
For what?
For fun.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.