What's all the racket? I can hear you clear across town!
You can hear us two blocks away?
S2Rock On!
How does that syrup even pass for music? I mean, whatever happened to rock'n'roll, man?
Exactly.
You know what's really depressing?
That I just agreed with Hank about something.
That's peculiar and unnerving.
Back in the '70s, I wrote a tune called Mona the Monkey. Next thing you know, I turn on the radio and there's Earl the Squirrel.
That's not exactly what we in the police business call "hard evidence".
It's not even soft evidence.
Mona the Monkey? Earl the Squirrel?
Casper the Ghost. Dennis the Menace.
Tony the Tiger.
Winnie the Pooh.
Soup of the Day.
You're all smart. Maybe Tony the Pooh doesn't know when he's being ripped off, ever think about that?
Maybe just a half cup for you today.
Let me guess, you're broke.
What makes you say that?
Because you're staring at the cash the way Hank stares at cash. [pause] Oh my God, you've become your own metaphor.
Look, I'm just a little short this week. Can you spot me a tensky?
Tensky; you always give it a cute little name so it won't seem like real money. Like that five-O I lent him last week. Sorry Hank, you're a bad riskaroony.
Well what am I gonna do for cash? Go pick bottles outta the ditch like some kinda hobo? Pfft! Cause I did that yesterday.
We should get Wunder Face back together again!
Thunderface. And why would we do that?
It's not the worst idea I've ever heard.
Okay that's twice you've agreed with Hank.
Is there some strange planetary lineup today?
S2Air Show
Hey, I take good care of this truck!
Is that why there's smoke billowing out of the hood?
S2Slow Pitch
That's right, Wes is nuts. This coming from a guy who once punched a skunk.
He had it comin'.
I rub my left elbow, bunt; I rub my right elbow, bursitis. Bunt, bursitis. Bursitis, bunt.
Aw, man. I can taste Wes eating those nachos now.
All right, let's ignore Hank's disturbing image.
To victory.
To perfect attendance.
[drunk] To the internal combustion engine, baby!
S2Harvest Dance
I can't eat your jelly salad this year, Mom. Lacey has me on some South Park Atkins Diet.
Hey what do you guys know about this harvest dance?
Well uh there's a harvest and then we have a dance. I'm not sure where we came up with the name.
S3Dress for Success
Hold my monkey.
You just bought $10,000 worth of stocks in 20 seconds. Congratulations: You're the stupidest man in the world!
Oh yeah? Let's see you do it faster!
Fast is not the point. You have to know what you're investing in. Study the numbers.
Hank, your cousin just called, he said 11 bucks.
[laughs]
Gimme a thousand of this one, … uh … a thousand of this one, uhh … uhh … and two thousand of these.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Corner Gas pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.