TV show quotes
Fear is natural. It's what makes us human. It's what separates us from the animals.
That, and opposable thumbs. And pants.
Rollerblading.
Any kind of bipedal locomotion.
We can make fire. Animals can't make fire.
Well, if you don't count dragons.
Actually, there's a lot that separates us from animals.
You had me at pants.
Here.
What's this?
The shelf you asked for, for your recipe books. It took me a while.
When did I ask for a shelf? Wait. I asked for this when Brent was a kid.
Like I say, it took a while.
What are you building next, that change table for the nursery?
I'm gettin' to it.
Why do you clutter up the house with junk?
It's a hobby.
Get a new hobby.
Fine. I'll go for a walk somewhere I'm appreciated.
That'll be a long walk.
[Karen has lost her footbag.]
I'm looking for my footbag.
It's called a sock, Einstein!
Who leaves a pair of pants by the side of the road?
That is weird. Picking up a stranger's pants and carrying 'em around all day, that's perfectly normal.
Can't just leave 'em there, that's pants, be a waste. Waste of pants.
Nobody likes pant waste.
Yeez I hope it's not genetic.
Are you kidding? You're getting more like him every day.
Oh don't be a jackass!
Seriously, you guys, a joke's a joke, but I want my hacky-sack back.
We don't know where it is.
Okay... I guess uhh...I'll go look for it in...the Ruby! Am I getting warmer?
You're getting weirder.
[Upset about Wanda throwing away a TV flyer] Well why would you throw away-
Garbage? I'm an enigma.
Really, does that pay well? Cause I'm getting the feeling your gas station career may be winding up.
[sarcastically] Oh no.
A man's TV should reflect his age. You're 18, 18 inch. When you turn 27, 27 inch. One of these monsters will last me till I'm 50.
You're not 50?
You're not fired?
This is the Dog River Howler after all, the info is sketchy at best. Remember last year when those coyotes were comin' into town, eatin' people's cats.
Plus, the plural of werewolf is werewolves... with a "v".
Also a good point.
It's time that Dog River joined the 20th century.
Now we'll only be one century behind.
Wanda, can I show you something?
I've already seen your belly doing the hula.
Now, no more dirty talk. Hand me that big tool so I can mount this.
Wanda, why don't you call? You have such a beautiful voice.
Really? At Karaoke Night, you threw a shoe at me.
My feet were tired.
A broken pipe?
I dunno how it happened.
[trying to fix the broken pipe] Probably his fault, all those damn showers he took when he was a kid.
Well, can't Dad fix it?
[Pipe starts spraying water in Oscar's face.]
What do you think?
Well how the hell did it get bent like that?
How should I know? Looks like the work of an orangutan.
Really? That's your prime suspect?
I need Oscar around the house. His weirdness keeps me sane.
You and me are very different people.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Corner Gas pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
