Emma quotes from Corner Gas

Oscar

It's like Africa in here. It's like a sauna. It's like a Sauna in Africa!

Emma

Oh, It's imperceptible.

Oscar

Well I percept it!

Oscar

No, that's it; I'm not doing it.

Emma

You're being cruel; I never ask you to do anything.

Oscar

What are you talking about. You ask me to do stuff all the time.

Oscar

And I got a lot more examples.

Emma

This will be fun! Food, people, the smell of the grill.

Lacey

That's my job. I do this all day.

Emma

But this is outside!

Lacey

Oh great. My job plus bugs.

Wanda

I think I've got Hot Cross Buns Down, let's try Three Blind Mice.

Emma

They're the same tune.

Wanda

...You just blew my mind.

Emma

Glad to have helped.

Emma

You haven't lived until you've seen power tools cut a teenager in half.

Brent

I took shop class.

Oscar

Something's different about these mashed potatoes.

Emma

That's because it's RICE.

Oscar

Needs sour cream.

Oscar

What's with the brown ketchup?

Wanda

[talking about the bowl to Emma] I paid fifty bucks for it on Ebay!

Emma

Fifty bucks, is that all?

Yeah, I mean for an enchanted bowl that's a bargain!

Emma

So whaddya think?

Oscar

I dunno. Where's the gotcha? Where's the water cooler? Maybe if you had an ostrich. You don't talk about it, it's just there. Ostrich. Think about it.

Emma

First you take three dollops of goop and spread it evenly.

Wanda

It's burning!

Emma

The warmth means it's working.

Wanda

I didn't say warmth. It feels like you're welding my spine.

Emma

That also means it's working.

Karen

What do the red blotches mean?

Emma

It means it's time to shut up.

Wanda

There's blotches?

Karen

No, now your whole back is red.

Wanda

[turns around with her face completely red] Ow. Now it's really burning. My skin is on fire.

Emma

I'm glad that's not me.

Lacey

Wow. That is a great-looking cake.

Emma

Chocolate double chocolate with chocolate icing. I've been serving it to Brent for 39 years.

Lacey

You fed Brent cake when he was one?

Emma

Well, that's how we got him to walk.

Davis

So, what can I do for you?

Emma

We need your help.

Brent

It's about my dad.

Davis

I thought this day would come. All you have to do is sign these papers and he'll be committed.