Troy quotes from Community

Jeff

Three and a half years ago, when I came to Greendale, I met six very important people.

Dean

Ooh, burn on Britta.

Jeff

Sorry, seven. And meeting these people changed my life. Yep. I'm sorry. I don't know what to say.

Yeah, okay.

Abed

Whatever.

Jeff

I'm so used to being the guy who can talk his way out of anything, but what do you say when you don't want a way out? What you have all done for me is indescribable. It's unbelievable. And my love for you is immeasurable, even when you split it seven ways.

Abed

A repiloting can be intense. New people show up, regulars shift roles or even fall away. Season 9 of Scrubs, Zach Braff was only in the first six episodes.

Son of a bitch! After everything Scrubs did for him?

Annie

Chang was faking his Changnesia?

They seriously rehired a teacher they fired for trying to burn down the school?

Shirley

After being rehired as a security guard after being fired for impersonating a teacher?

Abed

That's insane, and I'm Abed.

Mr. Barnes. Do you have a special handshake that you only perform with Mr Nadir?

Um, Yeah. [Troy and Abed do the handshake]

Mr. Barnes, did you invent that handshake?

Um ... Yes.

Lie.

Mr. Barnes, are you a subscriber to the YouTube channel "Fun with Friends"?

No.

Lie.

SILENCE, WENCH!!

Britta

I want to say something to you guys about mental health...

Jeff

Is that Britta? Is she alive?

Shirley

Why did you think she was dead?

We kinda...left her?

Annie

Left her for dead?

Abed

Sounds bad when you put it that way; can you put it in a way that sounds good?

Britta

You do realize this isn't just a pile of chairs, right? This is a crib, and you're curled up inside there sucking your thumb, because you don't want to say good-bye. Well, it's time to grow up! The adults are here, and we're gonna tear down your fort! Chairwalkers, attack! AWOOOOOOO!

AWOOOOOOOO!

Abed

Okay, we'll go into the vents. They'll never find us there.

I say we take a stand here. I mean, someone's gotta win sometime.

Abed

Not if we never kill each other. Then we can play forever.

Right! Wait, Abed, the floor can't be lava forever. The game's gotta end.

Abed

It's not a game for me, Troy. I'm seeing real lava because you're leaving, it's embarrassing. I don't wanna be crazy, but I am crazy, so... I made a game where you and everyone else see what I see. [Both look at lava] I don't want it to be there either, I swear. I want you to be able to leave, but I don't think the lava goes away until you stop leaving.

So the only way I can help you is by giving up my chance to... be one person?

Britta

You guys ready for closure?!

Of your caskets?!

Guys, stop! The lava’s real to Abed! It’s not a game to him!

Britta

Oh no…

You know what I think? I think he’s used to getting his own way. I think he’s never met me.

Abed

Clone Troy.

Clone Abed.

Abed

By the way, when I cloned you, I had to patch some missing parts of your DNA with genes from a homing pigeon. You may notice side effects, like the compulsion to come back.

Cool. Clone hug?