TV show quotes
Does it shock you that 80% of my encounters with women have been completely without their knowledge?
Honestly, I'm more surprised by the other 20%. But look, buddy, I know you're going through a tough time, but I don't feel comfortable stalking another human being.
Dude, it's not stalking, okay? It's caring enough about someone to learn things about them they won't tell you themselves.
Which is stalking.
What was that about?
I'm helping Ellie and Awesome find a band for their wedding.
Then this, sir, is your lucky day.
We'll handle it from here.
You're going to help me find a band?
No, you misunderstand. You found your band. It is WE. [points to himself and Jeff] We'll play your sister's big day.
Wait-- Wait a minute, you guys have a band?
Jeff...
...Lester...
JEFFSTER!!
That seems very fitting.
Originally, we were going to go with the name "Jester," but we didn't want people to associate us with a couple of fools.
Obviously not.
I can't betray my best friend. How come nobody gets that?
Hmm. Semper Fidelis. Means always faithful in the Marines. In civilian life, means putting your friend's well being above your own. I salute you for that, Bartowski. Well done.
[Casey gives Chuck a small salute]
Yeah, that's-- Thanks, Casey. Yeah. Semper Fi. You know it's a pretty upside down world when this guy's the one picking up the emotional nuances around here.
[Casey winks at Sarah]
No, I get it; he's your best friend.
You know you say that, but I don't think you have a clue what it means. Look, Sarah, I don't have parents. I mean not really. I don't really talk about it because that's the way things are now. But it wasn't always this way. Morgan was there the first day my mom took off. He didn't say much. Because honestly what's a fifth grader supposed to say? But we sat there and split a cherry cheesecake and played Legend of Zelda all night long. And my dad, well that's-- that's a whole other story. But Morgan was there for that too. Morgan is more than just my best friend. He's my family! Before you got here, and long after you've gone, Morgan is my family!
...Last night we failed to learn the contents of the Triad's container. And now we don't know what kind of drugs or weapons are floating around the city. And while I appreciate your friendship with Morgan, losing sight of that container endangers many people's best friends, not just yours, Chuck.
I wanted to apologize. I could have been more sensitive before about your friendship with Morgan. It's just-- it's difficult. I don't really have anyone in my life like that who cares about me.
Yeah, you do.
Ooh! Ugh! Oh my God! This is unbearable! My back is killing me, my wrists are chafing!
This is going to get ugly. What level is his pain tolorance?
I'd say about 1 out of 10.
What? A one? I'd say I'm at least an 8.
Chuck, the torture hasn't even started yet.
This is the pre-torture? Okay, okay, put me down for a 1.
Ellie, Awesome, I have made a very important decision. I am moving out...
[Ellie gasps] Yes!
And moving in with Morgan.
NO!
Uh, why on God's green Earth would he ever ever break up with Sarah?
Ask Ellie, it was her idea.
Really?
What? He said that he didn't think she was the one.
[Morgan sighs] There are a few precious things I know anything about in this world. Chuck's one of them. Believe me, Sarah's the one!
How do you know?
How do I know? It's all over the kid's face. When Chuck is around Sarah, he is the Chuck we always dreamed of, all right? The Chuck that has the potential to do anything in the world.
Whoa!
Evening.
Talk about low hanging fruit!
Oh my God! I'm going to kill Chuck!
Didn't Chuck tell you I sleep in the, in the buff?
Chuck, he knows you're the Intersect. We have to go into 24-hour protective detail until further notice.
What exactly does that mean?
It means we can't break up. And we have to move in together.
[Noticing Ellie, Awesome and Morgan]
Well, Ellie's watching; we'd better sell it.
[They hug]
Are you sure about this? I mean he's a really tough guy. Maybe he won't talk.
Chuck, everyone talks.
What happened?
Well I...fainted and hit my head on the ground.
Real brave Bartowski.
Hey! I fainted on purpose. That was my move. You know I'm terrified of needles.
So your move was to faint and his was to endure torture.
We have different methods.
We work for the government, Dr. Busgang.
So do I. Tell them, Duncan. We work for the CIA.
No. The men you work for are terrorists.
[Casey gets slammed against the wall by two agents]
Hey!
Terrorist? We're patriots. Howard, you're a patriot.
You're spies who've turn your back on your country!
You couldn't have it more wrong. Who do you think we are? We do what needs to be done to preserve our nations rightful place in the world. Someday you'll thank us. Well, not you, you'll be dead.
Mr. Barker, I understand you were hurt protecting Agent Walker. I am told you showed great courage.
Just doing my job, General. Actually, it was Chuck who showed great courage on this mission. He was also injured.
He got clipped by a windowsill. It's as pathetic as it sounds.
Morgan. All you have to do is convince Anna that moving in with you is a bad idea.
Okay, but how am I gonna...
Shhh, Bubeleh, you've come to the right place. Repulsion is our business.
And business is good.
I want to make sure that she [Anna] loves me for me and not... other things.
Are you crazy? What other things could she possibly be loving you for? I mean listen, buddy, you know that I love you, but you're lucky to have a girl in your life who loves you for you, even though you are in fact you. If you don't stop testing her, she's gonna choose to be with someone else. And then you will have realized, and unfortunately too late, that you lost the catch of a lifetime.
Counter point. She's not the catch of a lifetime. She's a scheming tart who will harvest your organs and sell them to the highest bidder.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Chuck pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
