Captain Awesome Woodcomb quotes from Chuck

Awesome

There comes a time in every man's life when he reaches, well, a crossroads. A time when he must ask himself, "Am I a tucker?"

Awesome

Where are you, Chuck? I need the ring. This is not awesome!

Awesome

Way to go Chuck, I always knew you could handle my family jewels.

Awesome

You're a spy, Chuck? That's... awesome!

Awesome

Go ahead, try and run! I will catch you because I have superior form.

Ellie

I have known him since the day he was born (obviously)!

Ellie

When people asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would always say the same thing..."big boy." How cute is that?

Chuck

Ellie, you're killin' me here.

Ellie

And now he is a big boy. And I can tell that he is, because he is with a big...[looks at Sarah's chest] BIG girl.

Awesome

Sorry, guys. Don't mean to muck up your mojo. [to Chuck] I tried to stop her.

Chuck

Is she drunk?

Ellie

Chuck, you need a haircut. It's starting to make funny animal shapes.

Awesome

Let's go, babe; these two need their privacy. Huh?

Ellie

When you were seven, I told you that the burglar stole the money from your piggy bank? That was a lie, it was me. At the time I felt it was very important to have a New Kids fanny pack.

Sarah

Ellie, are you okay? Have you done anything out of the ordinary?

Ellie

...Words taste like peaches.

Awesome

So, Thanksgiving. We're all supposed to say what we're thankful for. I'm thankful for the most beautiful woman in the world, Ellie Bartowski.

Morgan

Good call.

Anna

Morgan.

Morgan

Aww, right.

Ellie

That's sweet, honey. I am thankful for my family and my friends.

Casey

I pass.

Awesome

Chuck.

Chuck

I'm thankful that Bryce Larkin is dead. And is not currently in my bedroom making out with my new girlfriend.

Casey

[gets the hint and leaves the table] Excuse me, please.

Morgan

Wow, buddy, that was, um, really dark.

Awesome

And specific.

Ellie

What we need to be is more like Chuck and Sarah.

Chuck

Excuse me?

Ellie

Every time you see her your eyes light up. I mean, How do you keep that spark alive?

Chuck

I-I, you know-I don't think I should be getting involved in-

Awesome

Come on, what's the secret bro?

Chuck

You know what, we-we kinda just, you know, we pretend like we're not really dating, which is weird I know, but it-it-it forces me to have win her over again and again...and again.

Ellie

That is so sweet.

Awesome

I lent him that money so he could get an apartment, not blow it on some stupid car!

Anna

WHAT? That money was for our apartment?! I'm gonna kill him!

Awesome

Get in line, Anna!

Awesome

[to Morgan] You have exactly one day to get my money back to me or I pluck you from head to toe.

Anna

Start with the groin. He won't be using that region for a while.

Morgan

Uh, why on God's green Earth would he ever ever break up with Sarah?

Awesome

Ask Ellie, it was her idea.

Morgan

Really?

Ellie

What? He said that he didn't think she was the one.

Morgan

[Morgan sighs] There are a few precious things I know anything about in this world. Chuck's one of them. Believe me, Sarah's the one!

Ellie

How do you know?

Morgan

How do I know? It's all over the kid's face. When Chuck is around Sarah, he is the Chuck we always dreamed of, all right? The Chuck that has the potential to do anything in the world.

Awesome

Whoa!

Morgan

Evening.

Awesome

Talk about low hanging fruit!

Ellie

Oh my God! I'm going to kill Chuck!

Morgan

Didn't Chuck tell you I sleep in the, in the buff?

Still playing the loser cover? You're nailing it.

Chuck

It's not a cover, Devon, it's my life.

Awesome

[in disbelief] So this is really you?

Chuck

Maybe we should be introduced, I'm Chuck Bartowski: total loser, cheeseball addict.

Awesome

Sorry, didn't mean to scare you.

Chuck

Maybe you shouldn't be sneaking into my room at night.

Chuck

I had a CIA mission.

Awesome

What exactly does that mean?

Chuck

Well you know, same old same old. Bad guy throws a fancy cocktail party. Another bad guy is trying to sell him a weapon. Bust both bad guys. Diffuse a bomb. Blah blah blah.