Diane, change.
Not for you or any man.
No, no Diane. Change: nickels, dimes, quarters.
S5 E8Knights of the Scimitar
S5 E9Thanksgiving Orphans
Christmas comes earlier every year, doesn't it?
I think if you check Sam, it always comes on the 25th of December.
What could be more enjoyable than opening your heart with holiday cheer?
Opening yours with a can opener.
S5 E10Everyone Imitates Art
You know I was thinking about this the other day and I think in my next life I'd like to come back as the President of France.
Why is that, Wood?
Well I think it would attract a lot of business to the bar.
I've been plannin' my Elvis pilgrimage to Memphis for weeks and now Nick is backing out of takin' care of the kids. He says his appendix burst.
That seems serious to me.
His appendix bursts every time I need a favor.
If he was smart, he would have that removed.
S5 E12Dance, Diane, Dance
[watching her video] All my life I wanted to dance so badly!
Looks like you got your wish.
S5 E13Chambers vs. Malone
[to Diane] They can stop me from killing you, but they can't stop me from marrying you.
Father, do you believe in the afterlife?
PPriest
Yes, my son. I do.
[Pause]
Well, good. Maybe I can find her there, and, get her again.
S5 E14Diamond Sam
Sam, this has gone too far. I think it's time you told her the truth.
The truth? And you call yourself a psychiatrist.
Something tells me Diane's not the type of woman who'd want a ring from a jeweler who starts every business transaction with "Pssst, buddy."
S5 E15Spellbound
[about Nick] He knows women like a jeweler knows jewels; like a meat-cutter knows meat.
LLoretta
Like a marine biologist knows Marines.
S5 E16Never Love a Goalie: Part 1
No way some guy like that ends up with me.
Will you stop cutting yourself short. You offer a lot of things to a guy.
Oh yeah, sure. Six kids, mortgage up to my ears, stack of bills, dead end job, and fallen arches.
You know, if I wasn't already engaged...
What about Frasier? Frasier you look like you could use a pick me up.
A hockey game? No, thank you. I've been to a bullfights in Spain and I've been to the altar with Diane. I think that's enough carnage for one life.
S5 E17Never Love a Goalie: Part 2
We were thinking maybe somebody's got to tell Carla that she's jinxing Eddie.
And what suicidal idiot did you have in mind to do that?
Well your name kept coming up.
How can a man tell a woman he loves her and yet try to kill her?
I can see it.
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