Diane Chambers quotes from Cheers

Diane

[about Andy Andy] We, mostly I, can save this man's life.

Diane

Sam, if brains were money you'd have to take out a loan for a cup of coffee.

Diane

[to Sam] When I and everyone else in the world say I love you, we are opening up the very core of our being. When you say it, you're just clearing your throat.

Diane

You know Cliff, if it's true that a little knowledge is dangerous, you are a walking time bomb.

Diane

Oh, Frasier, a letter from Cheers. No, wait... it's a Lillian Huxley's resume and a note: "Ha, ha! You're out of here forever!" Always nice to hear from Carla.

Sam

Well?

Diane

"You're a magnificent pagan beast."

Sam

Thanks. What's the message?

Coach

[to Diane] Oh, hi there.

Diane

Hello.

Coach

[noticing her luggage] I hope someone told you the bus goes by here.

Sam

No, Coach, she's going to be sitting here for a while...

Diane

[taps on her glass to get Sam's attention] Excuse me. I hate to keep asking for special attention, but could you not discuss my private life with everyone that comes in?

Sam

What would you like me to tell them?

Diane

I don't care.

Sam

[to Coach] She's a hooker.

Coach

Ah.

Sam

My life isn't fun anymore. It's because of you.

Diane

Because of me?

Sam

Yeah, you're a snob.

Diane

A snob!

Sam

Yeah, that's right.

Diane

Well, you're a rapidly aging adolescent.

Sam

Well I would rather be that than a snob.

Diane

Well I would rather be a snob.

Sam

Good because you are.

Sam

Well I guess I've, uh, I've never looked at your eyes.

Diane

Is something wrong with them?

Sam

No I uh, I just don't think I've ever saw eyes that color before. Matter of fact I don't think I've ever seen that color before. Yes I have, yes I have.

Diane

Where?

Sam

I was uh, I was on a ski weekend, up at Stowe. I uh, was coming in late one day – uh, last person off the slope – the sun had just gone down. And the sky became this incredible color. I usually don't uh, notice things like that, and I found myself kind of walking around in the cold, hoping that it wouldn't change; wishing that I had someone there to share it with me. Afterwards I tried to convince myself I had imagined that color; that I hadn't really seen it. Nothing on this earth could be this beautiful. Now I see I was wrong. [Pause] Wouldn't work, huh?

Diane

What?

Sam

Intelligent women would see right through that.

Diane

Oh...oh! In a minute!

Diane

Hi doctor.

Hi Diane. How are you?

Diane

In what sense?

Pardon me?

Diane

Oh you mean how are you, right. Not you know how are you. Well if that's what you meant, I'm fine.

Sam

How did you know that?

Diane

Well I picked it up in pre-law.

Sam

I thought you were an English major.

Diane

Well that was after art and before psychology.

Sam

Is there anything you weren't in college?

Carla

Blonde.

Diane

Check the yearbook, Carla.

Diane

I'm sorry I was late, Sam. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

Sam

Yeah, yeah but you wouldn't.

Diane

Sam, this could be a crucial moment in your life. It is vitally important that you handle your emotions properly. The worst thing that anyone in a situation like this could do right now is to repress his feelings.

Sam

[calmly] Diane, get out. Please?

Diane

You need to lash out, to release yourself. Scream.

Sam

[screams at the top of his lungs] Get out!

Diane

Wonderful. All right. Now, we need now to move away from the brute gut release of emotions into the more cerebral. Tell me in one sentence what you perceive to be your problem right now.

Sam

You won't leave.

Diane

Let's come back to that...

Diane

Rebecca, is there something wrong?

[sobbing] Oh Diane, you could always see beyond my facade of gaiety!

Diane

You're offended because she thought you were a scum bag?

Sam

No. I actually like that.