I can't believe this! They're not complaining on purpose!
But why would they do that?
Don't you see? They're jealous of our pinball!
Yeah, and our hats!
No Samson. They're not jealous of our hats.
Our badges?
Stop talking.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Wait a minute, ma'am.
DON'T YOU "WAIT A MINUTE" ME, YOU SCOUNDREL!
[After Lumpus has confessed his love for Jane while disguised as a woman]
...I love you too!
Huh?!
I'm sorry, Jane. She's hot.
[in a solemn, but horrified voice] I tried to pick up Scoutmaster Lumpus.
[remembers] Yacka! That's who it was!
[A silhouetted figure runs out of the Acorn Flats Wig Out tent while being chased by an angry mob until they catch her at the lake boardwalk… and the figure is revealed to be Almondine]
[narrating] Who is that desperate bird? That desperate bird is me, and my name… is Almondine. [Fade to six hours earlier] Six hours ago, I was just another squirrel scout.
TToodie
[walking up next to her as they stand in front of the Wig Out tent] Hey, Almondine. Are you ready for the annual Acorn Flats Wig Out?
[spins her head around 360 degrees, creeping Toodie out, and stops] Sure am. [narrating] Or at least an owl squirrel scout with a gifted third vertebrae. Yes, the Wig Out-- a special night when girls dress up with their finest wigs and get to be pretty. [walks into the tent and enters the dressing room where all the other girls are working on their wigs] I've been working on my wig for two weeks straight, and I was pretty sure I nailed it. [removes the blanket that's covering her wig, revealing that it looks just like her real hair]
MMiss Mucus
Ladies, how do we all feel about Almondine's wig?
Ugh. The hat. What were you thinking?
It's to keep the wig arm. [Nina and Patsy look at each other confused] I'm just trying to be practical.
MMiss Mucus
People are driving hundreds of miles to the wig out, and they ain't coming for practical. They want the pretties, right, gals?
TTootie
Like flowers.
RRachel
Telephones.
MMiss Mucus
Someone get Almondine some curlers. She's got work to do. [walks away]
We've got six hours to go! Are you sure you're gonna have something pretty?
No problem.
Oh, good. 'cause if your wig's not pretty, it'll ruin the whole wig out. [laughs as she and her friends leave]
[narrating] "Pretty." There was that word again. I had no idea what it meant.
Miss Doe, what is pretty?
Well, little girls are pretty, and cold left overs are pretty!
Cold leftovers?
[leaving Jane Doe's cabin; narrating] Miss Doe had unanswered questions of her own. I'd have to look outside of camp for help.
[looks at her reflection in the mirror for a second, then takes off her glasses and gets to work; narrating] I did things to my face that I had never done before. After a bucket of paint and a gallon of elbow grease, I was ready to see the new me. [puts her glasses back on and looks at her reflection, shocked to see that she looks exactly the same as she was before] Nothing. I guess pretty was just for pretty people. Not for plain practical birds…like me.
[enters the dressing room with Nina and Gretchen] Hi, Almondine! Are you ready for the Wig Out?
[runs out of the tent, bawling in realizing she let the Wig Out and herself down] Forget it! [throws the magazine on the ground in frustration and runs away into the woods; narrating] The Wig Out was going to be a disaster, and it was all my fault. I had to get away, somewhere else, under a pretty name like "Tiffany" or "Alexis", at some other camp, a camp where they don't know me, a camp where they're not so pretty. [finds Lazlo, Raj, and Clam, all behaving like hobos]
Looks like we got company, boys. Sit a spell, stranger.
[takes a seat on a wooden crate box] Brother, can you spare me a banana? [puts her hand on her stomach, starving to death] I haven't eaten all day.
[gives her a banana] Well, what you been up to?
Chasing a dream.
Doesn't look like she caught it.
Thought I knew what pretty was. Turns out, I don't know anything about it.
Aw, that's nothing. Whatever makes you different is what makes you pretty.
Yep, and we've got more pretty than we know what to do with.
JJellies
Yeah!
You do?
Take me. You know how elephants are supposed to remember everything?
Yeah.
Well, I can't remember anything. No, really. Test me.
What did you have for lunch today?
Okay, yeah. I had one of those…uh…things between two, uh, slices of things. [facepalms] Oh! What do you call?
Oh, a sandwich?
Huh? You want a sandwich? What did you say?
Isn't that pretty?
Well, it's different at least.
[narrating] Suddenly, it all made sense. [runs back to Acorn Flats while calling out to the Jelly Cabin Trio hobos] Thanks, hobos! I'll never forget you guys!
PPig
You! You ruined our Wig Out-- the only time any of us get a chance to really express ourselves!
PPelican
And now you're gonna pay!
[off-screen] Hold it, folks! [bolts up next to Almondine, defending her] She was trying to express herself, too! Maybe it wasn't pretty, but it was 100% Almondine.
Yeah, well, I may not be pretty, but I'm gorgeous! Just the way I am!
Yes! That's what I'm talking about! Gorgeous!
[waking up from his pancake dream] Pancake Day!
[unenthusiastically while sleeping] Yay.
Clam, it is not considered day until there is sun. Until then, it is night.
Pancakes, pancakes! [bolts out of the Jelly cabin and into the Mess Hall as the sun rises in daytime] Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes! [howls like a rooster as Chef McMuseli opens the kitchen window while yawning; excitedly] Pancake Day!
CMChef McMuseli
[remembers unenthusiastically] Oh, yeah. It's Pancake Tuesday. [gets a tub of pancake batter] Huh… Ooh-whee, gosh. The batter tub's pretty empty.
Happy Pancake Day to me! [chuckles joyfully] Good golly. I don't know when I've seen such a-- [notices Clam growling furiously while facing him] Uh…
[In the Jelly Cabin… Lazlo is still asleep in bed, but not for long when Raj and Clam enter]
[waking up] Hey, guys. You bring back any pancakes?
No time for flapjack talk, Lazlo. Clam is going on the lam!
[sitting up] He's what?
He stirred himself up a mess of trouble. Our friend Clam has become an outlaw!
Get a rope.
Sir?
We'll need one to get the bus out.
Oh, yeah, right.
[playing the keytar] Let me tell you about a dude... [murmuring while playing] ...who can be a bit... [key line] ...rude. He'll get you some.... [pause]
Food.
FOOD! And maybe a...hot dog or something. [stops playing the keytar] ALL RIGHT, HE'S OUTLAW! LUMPUS ALRIGHT, ME?! [the Bean Scouts looked puzzled] HERE COMES THE BRIDGE! YEAH!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Camp Lazlo pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.